Mila and Will join us for the secret final episode of The Lone Gunmen 9×15 “Jump the Shark’ in which the creators pay more respect to a half-hearted garbage one season spinoff than they ever even thought about doing with Millennium. At least Morris Fletcher is back to scheme and scam.

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Where Party Pants are not allowed for 24hrs straight.

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Listen to Episode 9×15 – 1:40:03

Tags: Annabeth Gish, boat explosion, Brittany should have had more screen time, Bruce Harwood, Claire waited 10 minutes for a wall to turn into a door, Dana Scully, Dean Haglund, flare, Fudge Creek, Gillian Anderson, Haunted Fish Tank, House of D, I'm relatively sure I've read the synopsis of House of D on the podcast before and got the same reaction of shock and horror, Jim Fyfe, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Gillnitz, John Prosky, Joss Whedon, kearny new jersey, Kimmy the Geek, Leather Pants, Leonard Southall, Lois Runce, Lost in Space, Marcus Giamatti, Medical Examiner, Mediocre Terrorism, Melvin Frohike, men in black, miami beach, Michael Craven Wells, Michael McKean, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, Morris Fletcher, Party Pants, Professor Douglas Houghton, returning character killed off, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, sad beard, Scully and Stingray are back together, Secret Door, shark, Stephen Snedden, The Lone Gunmen, Timothy Landfield, Tom Braidwood, Walter Skinner, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson

Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head chopping good time in 8×20 “Essence” wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts… also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1×12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) “The Cap’n Toby Show” we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

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Where all you have to do is belieb.

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Listen to Episode 8×20 – 1:16:24

Tags: #ActingChops, #ImWithDoggett, #NotWithHer, 1st Woman Party-Goer, A new alien? seriously?, Agent Blythe, Agent Gene Crane, Agent Krang, Alex Krycek, Annabeth Gish, Arlene Warren, Believe, Ben Bass, Billy Miles, Brad Cupples, Brian Drummond, Bruce Harwood, Cap'n Tobey, Captain Toby, Captain Toby's Wife, Chris Carter is the worst, Claire Laffar, Cowabunga, Cyia Batten, Dan Ginader, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Purdham, Dean Haglund, Denise Crosby, Douglas Newell, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. James Parenti, Dr. Lev, Dr. Mary Speake, Duffy Haskell, Duffy the bear, Eric Pospisil, Essence, Evil vitamins, Fox Mulder, Frances Fisher, Fred Tabalowski, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Ironpigkid on youtube for all your minecraft needs, Jasmin Dring, Jason takes manhatten, Jay Acovone, Jimmy Bond, Jodelle Ferland, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Gillnitz, Jozie, Kids wacked out on PCP, Kirk B.R. Woller, Langly is a real weirdo, Lead Agent, lil Doggett, Little Girl, Lizzy Gill, Margaret Scully, martinelli's sparkling cider, Melvin Frohike, Michael Eklund, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, Nicholas Lea, Puppeteer, Reporter #2, Reyes is the worst, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Scully's mother is the worst, Sheila Larken, Shredder, skin sloughing aliens, Souls aren't real, SpartaCast, Stephen Snedden, Steven Anderson, Tammy Ginader, The Lone Gunmen, The Sense8 Podcast, The worst name, Titanic, Tom Braidwood, Tom Poston, Walter Skinner, Weiner Man, What do I tell this child about to be born? What do I tell Scully? And what do I tell myself?, X-Files, xfiles, Young Langly, Yves Adele Harlow, Zachary Ansley, Zahf Paroo, Zuleikha Robinson

Make yourself a really strong cup of coffee for episode 8×19 – “Alone” in which we meet the most terrifying monster of all time AND a salaMANder. The Lone Gunmen 1×11 “The Lying Game” proves yet again that Mitch Pileggi has all the acting chops and this mask technology is always going to be super creepy.

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Where we know the difference between reptiles and amphibians.

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Listen to Episode 8×19 – 1:15:30

Tags: Alone, Amphibians, Apollo 11, Ara Frumin, Arlen Sacks, blinded, Boring, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Carol Strode, Catherine Dent, character's point of view camera shot, Chesty Short, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dr. Herman Stites, episode title spoken by character, falling into a hole, FBI Agent Leyla Harrison, FBI Assistant Director Walter Skinner, FBI Undercover Agent Larry Rose, Fox Mulder, Gary Sacks, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, James Otis, Jay Caputo, Jeff Strode, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jolie Jenkins, Jolie Jenkins Pagani, Larry's Wife, Lisa Kaseman, Little Dogget, liver eating mutant, man in a wheelchair, man on oxygen, Maria Louisa Figura, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mr. Memory, Pathology Assistant, Pendrell, Peter J. Lucas, reference to oprah winfrey, Reptiles, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Lewis, Robert Patrick, Robert Rozen, SalaMANder, Salamander Man, Stephen Snedden, stepping on hand, Stingray, surprise attack, Tammy Ginader, temporary blindness, The Lone Gunmen, The Lying Game, The most evil monster ever, title spoken by character, Tom Braidwood, Tony Denison, Tony Ketcham, underground cavern, Walter Skinner, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zach Grenier, Zuleikha Robinson

Ian joins us for episode 8×18 – “Vienen” in which we tune our unburnt radios to 101.5 to say goodbye to the black oil and the career of Fox Mulder who will hopefully go somewhere and die… again. The Lone Gunmen 1×10 “Tango de los Pistoleros” was aired on television at one time.

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Where Kersh is a hero.

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Listen to Episode 8×18 – 1:54:15

Tags: 101.5 Black Oil Radio, Alien Abductee, Ancient Old Senile Black Oil, Andrei Sterling, autopsy, Babylon 5, Black Oil, Black oil Radio, Bo Taylor, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Casey Biggs, Chef, Chesty Short, Claire Laffar, Claire's cat is Jacob Marley, Dana Scully, Dance, David Duchovny, David Michie, David Palffy, Dean Haglund, Dean Winchester, Diego, Diego Garza, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Emanuel Morales, Eva De Viveiros, explosion, FBI Deputy Director Alvin Kersh, Fox Mulder, Gillian Anderson, glowy eyed M.C. Gainey, good riddance!, Goodbye Black Oil, Gregory Cruz, gulf of mexico, Helicopter, Hockey Announcer, How do people go missing, introtox, introtox.com, It's a Small World = supes racist, It's all Mulder's fault, James Pickens Jr., Jim Fyfe, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Vargas, jumping into sea, Kersh is a true blue american hero, Kevin Loomis, Kimmy the Geek, Laundress, Lee Reherman, Leonardo Santavos, Little Doggett, Luis Villalta, M.C. Gainey, Mariano Cuchillo, Martin Ortega, Melvin Frohike, Miguel Sandoval, Mitch Pileggi, Mulder gets fired, Mulder is the worst, nothing wacky was on with a reasonably sized summary in 2001, oil platform, Oil Rights, oil rigs, pineal gland, Radiation, Radio, Rich Marotta, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Sad Saksa, Saksa, Silvio Pollio, Simon de la Cruz, Smug Douchery, Stephen Snedden, Tammy Ginader, Tammy is not best qualified to work on an oil rig OR to handle eggs, Tango, The Lone Gunmen, The Martha League, The Sons of Martha, the writers are shockingly lazy, This doesn't make sense, title spoken by character, Tom Braidwood, Trust no one, Vienen, Walter Skinner, Web of Queer Podcast, Worst character, X-Files, xfiles, Yuri Volkoff, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson

Will joins us for episode 8×17 – “Empedocles” wherein the boy who could fly is now made of evil cgi fire. Reyes and Mulder meet and say seemingly English words at each other for no other purpose than to torment Doggett. In The Lone Gunmen 1×09 “Diagnosis Jimmy” Byers is obsessed with Bears and Jimmy is in the hospital solving mysteries and inexplicably breaking hearts.

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Where ash people hallucinations are not valid proof of anything.

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Listen to Episode 8×17 – 2:04:40

Tags: Amanda Fein, Anderson Cooper, Andrea Kinsky, Annabeth Gish, ash people, Bill Macy, Bob Harvey, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, burnt corpse, Caitlin Fein, car crash, car explosion, car fire, Cheryl Francis Harrington, Claire Laffar, Creighton Dukes, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Glyn-Jones, Dayna Beilenson, Dean Haglund, demonic possession, Denise Crosby, Det. Franklin Potter, Devlin Elliott, Diagnosis Murder, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. Belluci, Dr. Bromberg, Dr. Mary Speake, E.R. Nurse, Empedocles, Even the nurse forgot Denise Crosby was in this episode, Fact Finding Missions, fired from the job, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, FUCK REYES, Gillian Anderson, GKnowllll Rohrerrererer, hallucination, Himself, ICU Nurse, introtox, introtox.com, Jake Fritz, Jason Goes to Hell, Jeb!, Jennifer Hammon, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Walsh, Katha Dukes, Katha is a gross name, Larold, Laura Means, Luke Doggett, man on fire, Melvin Frohike, Mia Dukes, Michael Puttonen, Millennium, Monica Reyes, Mr. Dimsdale, Mr. Dimsdale's Son, Mr. Keever, new orleans louisiana, Number Crunching, Nurse Marilyn, Payphone Woman, Pet Sematary, Pizza Delivery Man, police chase, Resident Surgeon, Reyes is the worst, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Richard Fitzpatrick, Roadhouse, Rob Freeman, Robert Bruce, Robert Patrick, Roberta Toews, Robin Mossley, Ron Canada, Satanic Cults, Scrub Nurse, Scully is 54 weeks pregnant, Shawn Batten, shooting boss, SpartaCast, Spyder Games, Stephen Snedden, Tammy Ginader, Tasha Yar, The Boy Who Could Fly, The Dukes of Hazard, The First Slayer, The Lone Gunmen, The worst people, Tom Braidwood, trapped in a burning car, Veronica Brown, Walter Stukas, Wendy Gazelle, What is Roberta's purpose, What We Make: A Terminator Podcast, Will Johnson, Worst parents, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson

Heidi joins us for episode 8×16 – “Three Words” in which Zombie Mulder is barely back from the dead and already being a dick. Thanks to Knwlle Rrgrgrorer, Little Doggett learns he’s never been closer to the truth. The Lone Gunmen 1×08 “Maximum Byers” misses all marks that it aims at and then ends with a state sponsored murder.

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Where everyone is free to admit that the mythology is inexplicable nonsense.

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Listen to Episode 8×16 – 2:02:53

Tags: 2001, Absolom, Adam Baldwin, Alvin Donald Kersh, Black Oil, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, CastleCast, CastleRant, Census Data, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Clones, Convoluted schemes, Cupcakes, Dana Scully, data disk, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dr. Lim, Drones, Dwight Hicks, Elvis, FBI Deputy Director Alvin Kersh, FeelTheBern, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, Fox Mulder, freight train, Fuck Mulder, Gary Bristow, Gillian Anderson, Greys, Hillary Clinton is the worst, Howard Salt, Intercom Guard, introtox, introtox.com, James Pickens Jr., Jeremiah Smith, Jimmy Bond, Joe Basile, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jonathan Murad, Knowle Rohrer, Knowwll Rrrhwrerrr, Knowwwllw Rurrrhrwerrerr, Knwll Rwhewererrrohrer, Lead Guard, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mulder is a dick, Mythology, Nelson Mashita, number in title, Old Fashioned Cop, prison, Prison Armed Guard, Prison Trustee, Ric Sarabia Ric Sarabia, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Rise in your Levis, Robert Patrick, Seriously though was he named by a Welsh stroke victim?, Shapeshifting Aliens, shot in the head, Stephen Snedden, Tammy Ginader, The Lone Gunmen, the white house, Three Words, title spoken by character, Tom Braidwood, Transcript Writers, umm just take 2 steps and you're free, Walter Skinner, What does that Austin Powers joke mean?, What is the point of this conspiracy?, Why are the Lone Gunmen doing this? Scooby Doo had to go into arbitration with the WGA to get credit for creating the character of Knowle Rohrer, Why not make a clean break with your mythology?, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zombie, Zuleikha Robinson

Ian joins us for the handiwork of Chris Carter episode 8×15 – “Deadalive”. Mulder’s return from death, autopsy, embalming, and three months in the ground is questionable as Scully 11 month pregnancy. On the plus side Little Doggett and Slycek face off. The Lone Gunmen 1×07 “Planet of the Frohikes” features a talking chimpanzee named Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, and therefore is the best episode of Lone Gunmen ever.

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Where we call sentient intelligent creatures by the name they choose.

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Listen to Episode 8×15 – 1:31:07

Tags: Alex Krycek, Arthur Gaffin, Billy Miles, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Bruno Verdoni, car crash, Christian Mythology is as nonsensically convoluted and useless as X-Files Mythology, Claire Laffar, Cleopatra 2525, continued from previous episode, Cooky Coroner's, Daisy Kersh, Dana Scully, David Doty, David Duchovny, David Duchovny Mask, Deadalive, Dean Haglund, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. Francis Orovetz, Dr. Haspliss, Dr. Lim, Easter, Edward Woodward, exhumation, fighting with a car driver, flag draped coffin, floating body, Fox Mulder, Gibby Brand, Gillian Anderson, Go Fuck Yourself, grave side ceremony, He is risen, He was autopsied embalmbed and buried in the ground without oxygen for THREE MONTHS, healer, Heart attack, introtox, introtox.com, It's not yours, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Kersh, Larry Dorf, Leland Crooke, Mad Sick Burns From CarriK and BradC, male in shower, man on life support, Manly Man Meter, Margaret Scully, Melvin Frohike, Minister, Mitch Pileggi, Monkeys, Morgue, Nanobots, Nelson Mashita, Nicholas Lea, No More Mulders, Pathology Assistant, Peanuts, Peter Bryant, Pierre, Pierre Boulle, piss and vinegar, Planet of the Frohikes, quoting jesus, raining, returning from the dead, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Richard McGonagle, Robert Patrick, Run Little Doggett, seizure, Sergeant, Sheila Larken, Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, skin peeling off, Slycek, Spycek, Stephen Snedden, Stingray, Stringrays baby, T-1000, Tammy Ginader, Terminator Times, That's not how decomposition work, That's not how vaccines work, The Five Heartbeats, The Lone Gunmen, The Math is absolutely impossible, This is nonsense, Tom Braidwood, transformation, Walter Skinner, Web of Queer Podcast, Why did they spend money on this fisherman scene?, wilmington north carolina, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zachary Ansley, Zuleikha Robinson

It’s time for everyone to drop to their knees and scream to the skies that Episode 8×14 – “This Is Not Happening” here. DJ J-Jon JonE Jon joins us as we discuss this Chris Carter penned pile of garbage. The Lone Gunmen 1×06 “Madam I’m Adam” has Stephen Tobolowsky which makes it slightly better than it’s usual sub-mediocrity.

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Where you can use a “computer” and wiggled lights “to” discuss the “podcast”.

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Listen to Episode 8×14 – 1:43:47

Tags: Absalom, Adam Burgess, Annabeth Gish, Arlene Pileggi, Arlene Warren, Bernard White, Beverley Breuer, Brad Cupples, Breaking News: Judson Scott and Roy Thinnes are different Humans, Bride of the Monster, Bruce Harwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Carol Shantz Greg Barr, Chris Carter is the worst, Circling the Drain, Claire Laffar, Cleopatra 2525, Dana, Dana Scully, Daredevil, David Bloom, David Duchovny, David Earl Waterman, Dean Haglund, Debbie Lee Carrington, DJ Jon-E Jon Jon J-Rider, Dr. Desai, Dwarf Santini, Ed Wood + Michio Kaku = Chris Carter, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Evil table, Fox Mulder, FUCK REYES, Gary Cole, Getting hair caught in a tree, Ghost Mulder, Gillian Anderson, Head Nurse, healer, Heaven's Gate Cult, helena montana, Helicopter, Intro To Juice: The People vs O.J. Simpson, introtox, introtox.com, Jeremiah Smith, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Judd Trichter, Judson Scott, Karen Constantine, Lois, Maniac Marvin, Marie Stillin, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, Mountain Man Hates Transformers, Night Nurse, Nike Man, Noir or Never, Old Fashioned Cop, Phenomenological, pickup truck, Private Jet of Love, Randy Ross, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Richie Sleestack, Richie Szalay, Ritualistic cult abuse is not a thing, Riverdance in the Sky, Robert Patrick, Roy Thinnes, Roz Witt, Sadie, Sarah Koskoff, Shapeshifter, Sireens, Skinner's Assistant, Steel, Stephen Snedden, Stephen Tobolowsky, Stingray, Stretchy Face Corpses, Tammy Ginader, The Body, The Defenders Podcast, The Lone Gunmen, The worst superpowers ever, Theresa Nemman Hoese, They've never been closer, This is not happening, This should not be happening, Thumbs-Up Dog, title spoken by character, Tom Braidwood, Tom Shantz, Too Close To The Truth, Vincent Praise, Walter Skinner, Weary Man, weepy autopsy, Where are the rest of the Jeremiah Smiths?, Wilford Brimley, Worst Hair, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson

We’re back for Episode 8×13 – “Per Manum” in which someone finally remembers that Scully is pregnant. There are a grip of flashbacks to when Gillian Anderson had good hair and a lame partner. Also we meet everyone’s favorite new character Knowl Rohrrererrghragher. The Lone Gunmen 1×05 “Three Men and a Smoking Diaper” is as boring as it is sexist.

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Where no one can read a sonogram.

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Listen to Episode 8×13 – 1:30:37

Tags: Adam Baldwin, Agent Robin Kersh, Alexandra Margulies, baby, Baby William Jefferson, birth in a car, Brad Cupples, Brenda Sally, Bruce Harwood, Bryan Spicer, Busfield, caesarean section, Candus Churchill, Chris Carter, Christopher Rich, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Purdham, Dean Haglund, Delivery Nurse, Diana Castle, Dr. James Parenti, Dr. Lev, Dr. Miryum, Duffy Haskell, Elizabeth Cheap, Emily, Enid-Raye Adams, Evil table, fetus, Field Reporter, fingerprints, Fox Mulder, giant hair, Gillian Anderson, giving birth to non human baby, Hair, induced labor, intravenous, introtox, introtox.com, Jay Acovone, Jefferson, Jennifer Griffin, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Kath McCready, Knowle Rohrer, Lindsay Bourne, locking a door, Madisyn LaCouvee, manly man, Martha Ashley, Megan Follows, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mitchell Kosterman, Morgan LaCouvee, Mustachioed Officer, mutation, Mythology, Not Mustache Man, ovary, Patricia Drake, Per Manum, pregnant, Producer, Randy Becker, Receptionist, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Sean Allan, Second Associate, Second Nurse, Singer #1, Stephen Snedden, Steven Anderson, sweaty face, syringe, Tammy Ginader, That accent... yikes, The Lone Gunmen, This plot makes no sense, Three Men and a Smoking Diaper, Tom Braidwood, Tonja Kahlens, ultrasound imaging, unable to conceive, Victoria Gallegos, Vince Gilligan, Walter Skinner, woman in labor, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson

Join us for Episode 8×12 – “Medusa” as we travel into a mysterious train station being menaced by a phantom, or jellyfish, or sweat activated parasites, or a vengeful mute orphan. Frankly we have no idea what the hell is happening but we know Scully is angry about it. The Lone Gunmen 1×04 “Like Water for Octane” is as questionable as it is mediocre.

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Where Karras is a true hero of public transit efficiency.

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Listen to Episode 8×12 – 1:31:51

Tags: Adam Lieberman, Beauty and the Beast, Bill Jacobson, bioluminescence, Boston Legal, Brent Sexton, Bruce Harwood, Calcium, CDC, CGI Flashlight, Christopher Graves, Cleopatra 2525, Clerk, Coffee Shooting, Dana Scully, Dean Haglund, Deputy Chief Karras, Dr. Hellura Lyle, Dr. Kai Bowe, Dr. Tae Bow, Electricity, Figs, FreakyLinks, From where and wherefore did this orphan appear, Fruit Roll-ups, gangbanger, Gillian Anderson, glowing, Hazmat, Henry Farst, It's deffo from the sea, Jason Alexander, Jason Guthrie, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Judith Scott, K.N.I.F.E.G.R.A.B., Ken Jenkins, Kevin Graves, Kid, Kids don't sweat, Like Water for Octane, Little Dogget, Lt. Bianco, Manly Man Meter, Mark Valley, Mary Kathleen Gordon, Medusa, Melvin Frohike, Michael Eklund, Mulder would have shot that kid, Ninja Turtles, Officer Philbrick, Penny Johnson Jerald, plastic wrapped bodies, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Shareen Mitchell, Shelley Mizer, Stephen Snedden, Steven Melnick, Subway, Sweat, The Agent Dogget Liver Poisoning Game, The Phantom, This is the best skype connection ever, Thug, Timothy Webber, Tom Braidwood, Train station, Victoria Pratt was indeed in Mutant X and Cleopatra 2525, Victoria Smurfit, Vyto Ruginis, Water Powered Car, What is this water faxing machine?, What the hell happened in this ep? Fourvel, Where were they taking those bodies, Why is no one paying attention this footage, Woman, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson