If you like questionable parenting decisions and Chris Carter writing you’ll love Episode 9×09 – “Provenance” in which Damian Dahrke uses his alien totem to try and slowly awkwardly kill Scully’s baby. Luckily Scully pretty much has the same goal. Also more rubbings of space ships that could “change everything” again.

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Where we’re pretty sure there’s faster ways to kill a baby.

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Listen to Episode 9×09 – 1:32:54

Tags: Agent Terry Sullivan, Alan Dale, Alias, Aliens, Alvin Kersh, Annabeth Gish, Arrow, border patrol, Brad Cupples, Brad Follmer, Bradley Cooper, Bruce Harwood, Cary Elwes, Chris Carter is the worst, Claire Laffar, Creeper Doggett, Damien Darhk, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Denis Forest, Dogget and Reyes are Fucking #ScienceFact, Dogget cannot get over that shoe thing from John Doe, Dramatic Map Reading, Drunk Reyes, excavation, Fake Frank Black, fireball, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, James Parks, James Pickens Jr., jessup maryland, John Doe, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Josepho The Clown, Lone Man, Lost World, Margaret Scully, McNally Sagal, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, motorcycle chase, motorcycle crash, motorcycle jump, Mulder and Scully are asexual rice cakes, Neal McDonough, Oh is Mulder supposedly dead AGAIN? cool idea again, Overcoat Woman, Postpartum depression, Reyes doesn't have feelings anymore... accept about Johnny Walker, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Comer, Robert Patrick, Sheila Larken, Skinner hiding in the curtains, Stats and Scores are Updated on the Website, Super Soldiers, Tammy Ginader, Tarot Cards, The Lone Gunmen should not be given a baby, THIS DOES NOT MEAN EVERYTHING THAT MANKIND BELIEVES WOULD BE IN QUESTION, Tom Braidwood, Toothpick Man, Walter Skinner, Why aren't we being quoted in Wikipedia, Why were they still in the alley?, Why would anyone go to North Dakota from Canada?, Will Tippin, Worst Mother Ever, X-Files, xfiles, Your Podcast Network is the lamest

Bam! Steph joins us in this cuckoo-bananas episode as we try to figure out what the hell a “Conduit” is. Mulder needs to be under investigation by Chris Hansen. We learn all about bad tattoos, bad parenting, and bad law enforcement. Is the awesomeness of an episode directly correlated to the size of the plot holes? Rubeeeehhhh!

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Or we’ll cry harder than David Duchovny!

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Listen to Episode 1×04 – 1:35:08

Tags: BAM, Baywatch Nights, Beauty and the Beast, Bikers... Duck! Because Motorcycles can't hit you if you're on the ground?, Conduit, Conduit... You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means, Coolness vs Basic Reasoning, Creepy Kid, Crying on cue, Doctor David Hasselhoff, Douche NSA, Dreamcatcher, Duchovny can't cry, Duchovny Hair-Watch, Everyone's a dick, Formally deonouncing and rejecting Des and Skylar, GET YOUR INDEX FINGER OFF THAT CHILD'S CROTCH!, How does alien small area exhaust burning work?, Insanly over-generalized archetype deconstruction for the sake of filling a useless article, Johnny-Come-Lately Feedback, Lake Okobogee, Lamest Tattoo, Library Mysteries, Lost Boys, Luckily Robin doesn't make pro-Nazi sentiments... for once, Margot Kidder, Mulder acts like a chimo, Mulder vs Wolf, Mulder's Spirit Guide, Neil Young, NSA security codes are only 3 digits, Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds, Pennywise, Poltergeist ripoff, Pro:Hot-Drinks Anti:Decent-Parenting, Questionable Binary, Rainbow coalition of wolves in unity for America, Rubeeehh!, Rubing maggot adjacent evidence on your chin like a pro, Ruby!, Ruuubeeeehhh!, Sadsack Mulder, Say hello to the night, Scrap Book of Shame, Sexism, Shortalls, Slut-Shaming, Small town dick cops, T-Rex is more likely than aliens, Talkative Hobo, Teenwolf, Tessa is the goddamn Batman, That is not how science works, Three Derivitive Little Pigs, Too close to this case to be rationale… really?, Twin Peaks, Unnecssary CPR, Warning: Listener feedback contains discussion of how characters are dressed... ignore if you can't handle it, Werewolf Pals, Who needs evidence when you have third tier tabloid stories?, Worst Mother Ever