Gabby and Jonathon join us as we gather to pay our respects to an American Hero, Champion of the Taxpayer, and National Treasure: Jeffrey Spender and discuss 6×12 “One Son”. The mythology continues to make no sense at all and Mulder kills another citizen for no reason. On Millennium 3×09 “Omerta” it’s time for a kooky Christmas with Wood Nymphs.

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Where we are all in mourning.

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Listen to Episode 6×12 – 2:17:51

Tags: "Agent Scully. Make some sense." "What the hell does that mean?" No Mulder. They did not burn themselves, 25 years, A lone cupcake without an owner, Agent Diana Fowley, Al Ruscio, Al Ryan, Alex Krycek, Alien Fetus, All the teeth, Alvin Donald Kersh, American Hero: Jeffrey Spender, ANSWER THE QUESTION, At The Hour Of Our Death, Bees that pollinate corn, Bill Mulder, BitchJerk, Black Oil, Bob Morrisey, Boney Nerone, boring awful monologues, brawatch, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Candy-Apple, Cassandra Spender, Cassandra Spender is the worst mother EVER, CGB Spender, Chester George Barnabus Spender, Chris Carter half-assing it, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, clone, Cobrakai, Cobrakai might be a spooky ghost, Colonization, Consequences!, Contagion, Daisy Kersh, Dana Scully, Dana with an 'I', David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, DID THEY BURN THE SHORT SKIRT?!?! NOOOOOOO!, DJ Jonny Jon Jon J-Pontif, Don S. Williams, Drawers in drawers, Eddie Scarpino Giannini, El Rico Air Force Base, Evangeline and Jonathon are the Gary Busey of our tags, Faceless Rebels, Faeries, Fifth Elder, First Elder, Fort Marlene, Fourth Elder, Fox Mulder, Foxy Disco Scientist 4Ever, Frank Black, Frank Ertl, FUCK YOU GEORGE, Gillian Anderson, How did Cassandra get to the base? Where did that truck come from?, How do they get their jobs back?, Hybrid, I can't believe how terrible this plan is, If they get their jobs back it's only because Kersh granted Spender's dying wish, James DiStefano, James Pickens, Jar Baby, Jeffrey Spender, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jon Polito, Jon vs Train, Jonathan Polgreen, Jonathon Pope, Jordan Black, Jr., Keegan Tracy, Kill yourself bitch, Klea Scott, Krycek, Lamp grabbing, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Lhasa, Lil' Candy Apple, Liquid Nitrogen, Little Foot, Little Girls in Masks, Loyalties to the X-Files, Marita Covarrubias, Mass Panic? Really?, Massive Head Trauma, Melvin Frohike, Michelle Beauchamp, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Mobs, Mulder is 99% Cardboard, Mulder is a creep!, New York City, Nicholas Lea, Not passing. At. All., Omerta, One alien fetus = the lives of 30 human women. Thus the aliens have roughly the same stance on choice as the Republican Party, One Son, Peter Donat, PotentialCast, Previously on, Purity, Purity Control, R. Nelson Brown, Ralph, Ralph's family is forever destroyed, Remember when Mulder and Krycek were infected with the black oil, Richard Langly, RIP Spender, Rose, Rose has saw hand powers, Sexy Shower Time, She's The One, Sheriff Earl Parker, So what happened to the black oil turning into giant scary monsters?, Special Agent Emma Hollis, Spender needs to put a bell on his momz, Stick around til the end to hear tales of upsetting head wounds!, Suicide is painless. It brings on many changes. And I can take or leave it if it would thwart an INVASION OF GODDAMN ALIENS, Superman 3, Swishy Hipped Waggily Hand Aliens, Teliko, The Lone Gunmen, The Pretender, The Syndicate, THE WRONG SON DIED, There are so many ways to die in a hospital, These guys have spent more time in quarantine than any humans in history, This doesn't make sense at all, This is a shitty deal, Tom Braidwood, Tom McBeath, Tunisia, Veronica Cartwright, Walter Skinner, We might be podcasting with a g-g-g-ghost this week, What happened to Gibson and that alien?, What happens in the tree stays in the tree, What has been stopping the colonization up until now?, What is Frank wearing?, What was he doing in her apartment ALL night? Whitewater rafting Claire, Where did he even find that photo?, Why / When is that photo on fire?, Why did Mulder kill the conductor?, Why is Hollis here?, Why the fuck is George giving the Aliens a goddamn flag?, Wigs, William B. Davis, William Mulder, Wood nymphs, You can find Jonathon right here... in these very tags!

Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

Tags: "I'm ready to J-O-B just not on some jagoff shoeshine tip", "Yo Homestyle cough up the rock", A case of the yips, Agent Diana Fowley, Agent Emma Hollis, Al Ruscio, Alex Krycek, Aliens, Alirio Ferreira, Angie WATCH YOUR BACK. #RougeCop #SeeSomethingSaySomething, Arson, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bad Girls, Basketball, Basketball Player, Basketball Sweaters, Brad Cupples, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bullfrog Andy is like a less interesting Boss Hogg, Canada, Candy-Apple, Candygram, Cassandra is the worst, Cassandra Spender, CastleCast, Check n' Spender, Chester George Barnabus Spender, China, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Conspiracy, Damon P. Saleem, David Duchovny, Department of Justice, Don S. Williams, Don't taste white powder found in envelopes, Dr. Eugene Openshaw, Et tu Stingray?, Exposition George, FBI Agent, Fifth Elder, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, First Elder, Flukie - Gold Medal Olympian, Fourth Elder, Frank Black Klea Scott, Frank Ertl, Frank Spotnitz, Frank turns into a dragon to escape an exploding building, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greg Evigan, Heidi Jenkins, Heroin, Hey Hollis? why are you cloaking out?, Hey transcript writers... are you OK?, Hollis is the worst, How did you get your clothes?, How is Diana still awake?, Human Essence, Humanzees, I'm pretty sure Chris Carter's version of "The Godfather" is closer to Corky Romano, In what way do they look like monsters?, introtox, introtox.com, Jeff Spender: American Hero and Champion of the Taxpayer, Jeffrey Spender, Kersh, Kill Switch, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, LEAVE SPENDER ALONE, Milk, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Monsters, Mr. Ho, Mulder and Scully might have gotten fired... AGAIN, Mulder is NOT a special snowflake, My Two Dads, Mythology, Nicholas Lea, Nick Tate, Nopenheimer, Nopenshaw, Paul Reiser, Paul Reiser and the other guy, Peter Outerbridge, Pizza Guy, Pool, PotentialCast, Powerpoint, Previously on, Racism, Relax your jaw and your pelvis, Samaria Graham, Scully's Short Skirt, Second Elder, Sexy Lego Robot Guard, So... you don't have evidence then..., Soooo apparently Krycek and Spender are immune to the extremely toxic alien blood, Special Agent Barry Baldwin Stephen E. Miller, Spender > Luke Skywalker, Stephen Chang, Stop being a dick to Spender, Stop smoking IN THE HOSPITAL, Take him to his damn mother already, Tammy Ginader, Tamra Caffrey, That is not what hybrid means, The cliffhanger of this episode rests on if you think Mulder might murder an innocent defenseless old woman, The Iron Sheik, The Pretender, The Proffessor SAT DOWN!, The Truth Out There, The X-Files, They had cleaned up the mythology and then they jump full force into all the awful garbage mythology, This doesn't make sense at all, This episode is brought you by hotmail: for when you don't really need your mail, Those faces rip off very easily, Trust no one, Two Fathers, Valerie Pettiford, Veronica Cartwright, Who are the two fathers?, Why aren't we working with the Rebels?, Why is everybody treating Spender like crap?, Why is Mulder hiding?, Why would shapeshifters need to mutilate their orifices, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, You should not use the same nickname for your girlfriend as your sister. That is weird.

A second part of a two-parter that doesn’t completely fall apart? Evangeline joins us for 5×14 “The Red and the Black” There’s a vague ill-defined war going on between alien factions. Scully acts like a real Mulder-dummy and has regression hypnosis before having sense talked into her by Jeffrey Spender, American Hero and future half of the hottest new buddy cop show. Frank uses his Dragon powers to catch sin eater/urban legend dream catcher in Millennium 2×14 “The Pest House”

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Where Jeffrey Spender gets the respect he deserves.

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Listen to Episode 5×14 – 1:58:54

Tags: "I remind myself of a Navajo Story" --The most Chris Carter thing I've ever heard, "Look my Momz is just a dummy cripple. How's she supposed to roll her crippled up wheelchair all the way to Mt Crazy?", "Quiet Willy", Alex Krycek, Alex Shostak Jr, Alien Colonists, Allen Coulter, Black Oil, Brad Cupples, Brian Thompson, Bulletproof, Canada, Cassandra Spender, Catherine Black, Chapelle Jaffe, Check n' Spender, Chris Carter, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, Darcy Laurie, David Duchovny, Dmitri, Does Scully spend more time being kidnapped or in a hospital bed, Don S. Williams, Dr. Heitz Werber, Dr. Paton, Dr. Stoller, E. Jacob Woodcock, Edward, Evangeline, First Elder, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Go Fish, How many terrible novels were written in the smoking man cabin, Hypnosis, Hypnotic Orgasms, I gotta sell more paps, implants, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, Jeffrey Spender, Jim Jansen, John Moore, John Neville, Justin Louis, Kermit the Frog had a much harder time breaking out of a Gulag than Mulder did after he was infected with Alien Black Oil Parasites, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Maybe send your childhood pals a bottle of Scotch or a cheese plate instead of naming boats and dead bodies after them, Megan Gallagher, Melinda McGraw, Melissa Scully, Michael Massee, Miehal Suchanek, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, MulCek, Mulder is such a dick, Mulder jumped on the back of a truck whilst throwing Scully under a bus, Nicholas Lea, Peter Watts, Prosthetic Arm Mini-Fridge, Purdue, Regression Hypnotherapy is not a thing, Relax your jaw and your pelvis and let's go to the night place... What? RED ALERT! RED ALERT!, Resist or Serve, Russian freighter, Scully Loses, Second Elder, Sin Eater, Some Vampire sends Mulder a mysterious red envelope and he's not gonna be all over it? C'mon Tammy that is ridic, Stop laughing at your friend in the hospital you fucking weirdo, Tammy Ginader, Team Spender, Terry O'Quinn, The Big "S" Trio: Spender. Scully. Stingray., The Bounty Hunter, The Pretender, The Red and the Black, The resistance, The Syndicate, The truth is in you, The Well-Manicured Man, Third Elder, This is how all of Claire's Fan Fictions start, Veronica Cartwright, Walter Skinner, Well-Manicured Man, Whammy Awards, WHY IS HE ADJUSTING HER BED?!?!, Wiekamp Air Force Base, William B. Davis, Willy Ross, Winter Solstice Champions, X-Files, xfiles, Young Jeffrey Spender

DJ Jon Johnny Jon and Matt A join us for 5×13 “Patient X” in which Krycek and Cobrakai get super steamy on a ship. We are all shocked to realize Mulder still doesn’t believe in aliens (just vampires) and Cigarette Smoking Man is still dead. In the super creepy Millennium 2×13 “The Mikado” we go back to a time to when there were only 473 porn sites on the web.

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Where we are the only people that remember that Mulder was infected with the Black Oil.

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Listen to Episode 5×13 – 1:49:49

Tags: "Quiet Willy", 39 hours of porn, A "Great" Russian Acting Community, Alex Krycek, Aliens, All 473 porn sites, Allan Zinyk, Bad News: the pizza is cold Good News: we didn't masturbate without you Jimmy #Worst, Black Oil, Bounty Hunter, Brad Cupples, Brian Roedecker, Brian Thompson, Captain Bachman, Cassandra Spender, Chilly Willy, Chris Carter Monologue, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man is surprisingly still dead, Claire Laffar, Cobrakai, Colonists, Custom Video Call From Santa, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deadwood, Don S. Williams, Don't think about those stitched up orifices too much, Duane Barry, Fire in the Sky, First Elder, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank's Dragon Powers Don't Work Online, Gillian Anderson, Gillian Carfra, Global Warming, Greg Michaels, Heitz Werber, HoopleCast, I Only Have Eyes For You, introtox, introtox.com, Jeffrey Spender, Jim Jansen, John Moore, John Neville, Krycek, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Massachusetts Institute Visiting Lecturers Program, Melty Face Men, Millennium, Miscalculating a pretend, Movie Contest, Mulder still doesn't believe in aliens (just vampires), Nicholas Lea, Not Mustache Man, Patient X, Peeping Teliko, Peter Watts, Robot Arm, Stay out of the forest, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Mikado, The old-fashioned-extra-steamy-steam-ship-double-cross, The Plan, The Pretender, The Web Girl, There are so many things to be afraid of, Third Elder, UFO, Unforgotten, Veronica Cartwright, Well-Manicured Man, Why are these teenage boys watching porn together, Willy Ross, Worst Skeptic Ever, X-Files, xfiles