John Doggett, Jim Rockford, Mike Pinocchio, and Elliot from E.T. join together to present the “true story” of Travis Walton’s abduction by aliens. We discuss this 1993 cinematic classic and the other bonkers claims from terribly titled book “The Walton Experience” that somehow didn’t quite make it into the film.

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Where we are all ashamed of Mrs. Pratt.

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Listen to Episode Bonus Episode: Fire in the Sky – 1:26:14

Tags: 1970s, Abduction, Alien, alien abduction, Allan Dallis, arizona, based on book, based on supposedly true story, Blake Davis, blue collar, Bobby Cogdill, Brad Cupples, Bradley Gregg, Bruce Wright, Buck, car keys, chainsaw, Children of the Corn, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Craig Sheffer, cult film, Cyrus Gilson, D.B. Sweeney, Dan Walton, Dana Rogers, David Duchovny, David Whitlock, Dennis Clay, disappearance, dog skeleton, drinking water from a faucet, E.T., false accusation, false accusation of murder, Fire in the Sky, floating in space, Frank Watters, Georgia Emelin, Gillian Anderson, Greg Hayes, Henry Thomas, introtox, introtox.com, James Garner, Jim Rockford, John Doggett, Kathleen Wilhoite, Katie Rogers, Kenneth White, lie detector, logger, lumberjacking around, Mike Pinocchio, Mike Rogers, mountain, newspaper, Noble Willingham, outer space, Peter Berg, polygraph, post traumatic stress, Ray Melendez, Robert Covarrubias, Robert Patrick, Scott MacDonald, Shiny New Genitals, snowflake arizona, Spaceship, syrup, tabloid, Tammy Ginader, Terror, The Walton Experience, traumatic experience, traumatic memory, traumatic shock, Travis Walton, truck, UFO, urine sample, Wayne Grace, weightlessness, working class, X-Files, xfiles

We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it’s inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.

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Where Mustache Man is canon.

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Listen to Special Episode – 0:52:06

Tags: 2016, 2Shy, Alien Bounty Hunter, Aliens, Amani, Bees, Big Coat, Brad Cupples, Cancer, Chester Bonaparte, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, clone, Conquistador Tree-People, David Duchovny, Donnie Pfaster, Flukie the Flukeman, Frank Briggs, George, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Kersh, Melissa Scully, Monsters, Mustache Man, Mythology, Oblong, Revival, Spender, Tammy Ginader, Teena Mulder, Teliko, The Lone Gunmen, The X-Files 2016, Thumbs-Up Dog, Tooms, UFO, X-Files, xfiles

It’s time for the first X-Files movie. Matt joins us to discuss bees, herda hada yokel kids, and the proper etiquette for borrowing a friend’s clothing. We learn that if you forget the mythology up to this point and ignore the definitions of words it makes much more sense. We also have the greatest theme tune ever, a special surprise visit via explanatory monologue, and the reading of the contest winning fanfic.

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Where we Fight. Fight. Fight the Future.

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Listen to Fight The Future – 2:46:32

Tags: 1998, 2shy did it first, A lot of Bees in a Scully Suit, Alex Jones, Aliens don't need starbucks, Alvin Kurtzweil, Amani, American Gothic, Americans cannot handle Roundabouts, An Old-Fashioned Monkeyshiner, Anti-vaxxers bringing back preventable disease... That's one way to bring the future to its knees, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bees, Ben Bronschweig, Bill Mulder Choose Samantha to survive, Black Oil, Black-Haired Man Jason Beghe, Blackwood County, Blythe Danner, Bruce Harwood, Cavemen, charging box, Children of the Corn, Chris Carter, Chris Carter explains the mythology for four minutes, Chris is a hero, Cigarette Smoking Man, Conrad Strughold, Conspiracies, Cool Drinks, Dale from The Walking Dead, Darius Michaud, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dirtwater Kids, Disposable Orphans AKA Orphans, Djinn, Don S. Williams, Don't piss on buildings with friends, E.T., Fanfiction, Fellow Travellers, FEMA, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, Fighting the future, First Elder, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck People, George, George has a spaceship office, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greatest Theme Tune EVER, H.R. Giger Mat Paintings, herda hada yokel kids, How did he stumble into finding Scully's clothes... wait... how did he even find Scully?, How did they get to/fro Antarctica?, How is Krycek not in the movie, How many alien groups are there?, How would the colonist use/control the black oil at all assuming they are different species, If FEMA is the secret govenment why do you have to coverup things at a YOUR office, Independence Day, Infect with black oil cook to 500° for 35 min let scary monster erupt from chest, Jana Cassidy, Jeffrey De Munn, Jerry Watts, Jerry Watts death is Mulder's fault, Jesse Ventura, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Neville, Kermit the Frog, Knockout bees, Like a time capsule android programmed to shoot ya... That's one way to fight the future, Little Travellers, Live Tweets from Tammy, Locale Latin Cabaret References, London England, Long Con, Lucas Black, Mark Snow... are you ok?, Martin Landau, Melvin Frohike, Michael Shamus Wiles, Mitch Pileggi, Monkeyshines, Monsanto Monsanto Monsanto, Mr. Mulder PULL THE STRINGS! PULL THE STRINGS!, Mulan, Mulder could solve so many X-Files if he spent as much time looking at family photos as he does the National Enquirer, Mulder gets shot in the head at point blank range, Mulder's Genie, Murder by Numbers, Mustache Acting, No chatting whilst urinating, Orphan Children, Panic Face, Plinky-plonky music, PolarVortex, Rabid Hungry Orphans, Rent-An-Orphan, Richard Langly, Rob Bowman, Second Elder, Secret Chris Carter Explanatory Monologue Interruptions, Secret Government, Smash your smartphone and burn your "computure", Smilla's Sense of Snow, So we're just redoing the begining of season two?, Special Agent Dana Scully, Special Agent Fox Mulder, Spooky, Stay-Puft Marshmellow Boobs, Stevie Richardson, Stingray, Stop playing with skulls you dirtwater monster, Sunflower Seeds, T.C., Tammy Memories, Teliko, Teliko is a party dude, Teliko Riding on a Bee is clearly a stingray shipper, Tell. Don't Show: The Legacy of Chris Carter, Terry O'Quinn, Texas, That creepo alien umbilical cord was gross, That's your friends coat you asshole! Don't throw it in a gutter, The CDC, The Ghost of Christmas Future, The Lone Gunmen, The Matrix, The Office of Professional Review, The Pretender, There are sooo many things that bees DO pollinate could they pick one of those to use, There's no way for them to be blamed for this, There's only one grain that we make spooky mazes out of, These Plans don't make sense, This Cover-up doesn't make sense, This is bonkers, Tom Braidwood, Trigger Warning: Matt briefly mentions the 9/11 of humans: Jack Black at the 1:59:15 mark, Troll 2, UFO, Ummm... bees don't pollinate corn, Unnecessary Suicides, Vaccine, Well-Manicured Man, What is the deal with the cornfields, Why are the aliens in this movie just scary monsters?, Why would you make a deal with these aliens?, William B. Davis, Words that they use wrong: Clone. Hybrid. Vaccine. Virus., X-Files The Movie: Fight The Future, You want evidence? Here have a bee.

DJ Jon Johnny Jon and Matt A join us for 5×13 “Patient X” in which Krycek and Cobrakai get super steamy on a ship. We are all shocked to realize Mulder still doesn’t believe in aliens (just vampires) and Cigarette Smoking Man is still dead. In the super creepy Millennium 2×13 “The Mikado” we go back to a time to when there were only 473 porn sites on the web.

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Where we are the only people that remember that Mulder was infected with the Black Oil.

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Listen to Episode 5×13 – 1:49:49

Tags: "Quiet Willy", 39 hours of porn, A "Great" Russian Acting Community, Alex Krycek, Aliens, All 473 porn sites, Allan Zinyk, Bad News: the pizza is cold Good News: we didn't masturbate without you Jimmy #Worst, Black Oil, Bounty Hunter, Brad Cupples, Brian Roedecker, Brian Thompson, Captain Bachman, Cassandra Spender, Chilly Willy, Chris Carter Monologue, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man is surprisingly still dead, Claire Laffar, Cobrakai, Colonists, Custom Video Call From Santa, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deadwood, Don S. Williams, Don't think about those stitched up orifices too much, Duane Barry, Fire in the Sky, First Elder, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank's Dragon Powers Don't Work Online, Gillian Anderson, Gillian Carfra, Global Warming, Greg Michaels, Heitz Werber, HoopleCast, I Only Have Eyes For You, introtox, introtox.com, Jeffrey Spender, Jim Jansen, John Moore, John Neville, Krycek, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Massachusetts Institute Visiting Lecturers Program, Melty Face Men, Millennium, Miscalculating a pretend, Movie Contest, Mulder still doesn't believe in aliens (just vampires), Nicholas Lea, Not Mustache Man, Patient X, Peeping Teliko, Peter Watts, Robot Arm, Stay out of the forest, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Mikado, The old-fashioned-extra-steamy-steam-ship-double-cross, The Plan, The Pretender, The Web Girl, There are so many things to be afraid of, Third Elder, UFO, Unforgotten, Veronica Cartwright, Well-Manicured Man, Why are these teenage boys watching porn together, Willy Ross, Worst Skeptic Ever, X-Files, xfiles

It’s 4×18 “Max” Scully kills Pendrell and Mulder hops on a plane with a radioactive superstructure and a man that should really invest in a new pair of pants. The creepiest Millennium opening ever leads to a less than stellar ending in 1×17 “Walkabout”.

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Where we know Sean Pendrell’s fucking name, you heartless murderer.

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Listen to Episode 4×18 – 1:28:41

Tags: Airport Security Officer, Aliens, Amnesia, an Airport Security Officer, an MP, Armando Gonzales, Bill Smitrovich, Brad Cupples, Braden Kayce, Brendan Beiser, Brittany Tiplady, Canada has got their bar seating figured out. Stools can eat a dick, Catherine Black, Chilton Crane, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Claire Laffar, Cobra Commander, Creepy Mask Face Herda Hada Trailer Park Man, Cute Face Ugly Body, Dafid Palffy, Dark Man, Dave Hannay, David Duchovny, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective KimmyGibblerHouse, Detective Sandwich, Dog Riding A Dolphin? Sign me up!, Dr. Daniel 'Danny' Miller Gregory Itzin, Evoking an emotional response does not necessarily equate with quality or success, Fallen Angel, Flight 549, Flight Attendant, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck that NICAP hat, G.J. Alison Matthews, Giants From Outer Space Take Robot For Walkies in Russian Park, Gillian Anderson, Greg Michaels, Greys, Hans Ingram Ron Sauve, How do the Millennium Groups finances work?, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HIS GODDAMN NAME?, introtox, introtox.com, Jaclynn Grad, Jerry Schram, Joe Spano, John Destrey, Jordan Black, K-19: The Widow Maker, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, Larold, Larold Rebhun, Little Traveller, Lost Time, Louis Frish, Lt. Bob 'Bletch' Bletcher, Mark Wilson, Max, Max Fenig, Megan Gallagher, Melting Marshmallow Teeth, Michael Short, Mike Millar, Millennium Mitch Pileggi, MP, Mr. Ballard, Mythology, Pendrell, Personnel Chief Dana Flender, Peter Watts, Pilot, pre 9/11 airport, Proloft, Radiation, Regy Sayhay, Rick Dobran, Robin Burdge, Roland, Sal Nancy Kerr, Sandy Geiger Cheryl Mullen, Scott Bellis, Scott Garrett, Scully killed Pendrell, Sean Penrell, Sharon Graffia, Showbiz, Skeletor, Smooth Time, So Max was flying to give Mulder the piece of alien tech? Why didn't his crazy girlfriend just give them her piece of alien tech when she met them, Stacy Fair, Stephen J. Lang, Steve Guttenberg, Stewardess, Stewart Laine, Superstructure or Plane Jane Regular Change your pants Jeff Selleck Foxworthy, Take some asprin Frank, Tammy Ginader, Tardot Dee Jay Jackson, Teliko, Tempus Fugit, Terry O'Quinn, The most awkward ninja, The slowest run ever, The Third Man, Tickle Me Elmo, Tom O'Brien, UFO, Ummm hey Jeff Selleck Foxworthy? Ya know Mulder was at that meeting where you were openly sneering at him, Val Stefoff, Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3, Walter Skinner, Weird Dog Panting Effect, Why are these assholes just carrying around insanely radioactive items? Maybe put it in a lead-lined case. Definitely stop rubbing it on your face, Why isn't he still wearing the flippers, X-Files, xfiles, Željko Ivanek, Zeus and Roxanne