Episode 10×05 – Babylon

November 10th, 2016

Ian and Michael David join us for 10×05 – “Babylon” an episode about the fears of old white dudes before Herr Trump rode in on his great white horse to save them. Basically Mulder and Scully try to talk to a dead terrorist. It’s absolute garbage.

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Where we’re building a wall around this episode and Chris Carter is going to pay for it.

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Listen to Episode 10×5 – 1:28:22

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Episode 9×19 – The Truth

September 22nd, 2016

Michael David and Pat join us for 9×19 “The Truth’ as we close out the original run of this show the only way Chris Carter could, with a boring clip show that pretends to put the pieces together but fails to do a damn thing. We learn that Mulder has been bunking with everyone’s favorite chess champ from the Philippines whilst Spender was saving the entire goddamn world.

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Where we can’t believe this was on for 9 years.

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Listen to Episode 9×19 – 2:32:32

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Mila and Will join us for the secret final episode of The Lone Gunmen 9×15 “Jump the Shark’ in which the creators pay more respect to a half-hearted garbage one season spinoff than they ever even thought about doing with Millennium. At least Morris Fletcher is back to scheme and scam.

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Where Party Pants are not allowed for 24hrs straight.

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Listen to Episode 9×15 – 1:40:03

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If you like questionable parenting decisions and Chris Carter writing you’ll love Episode 9×09 – “Provenance” in which Damian Dahrke uses his alien totem to try and slowly awkwardly kill Scully’s baby. Luckily Scully pretty much has the same goal. Also more rubbings of space ships that could “change everything” again.

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Where we’re pretty sure there’s faster ways to kill a baby.

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Listen to Episode 9×09 – 1:32:54

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Michael David returns for the shocking? conclusion to the season premiere Episode 9×02 – “Nothing Important Happened Today II” in which Xena Mermaid Princess battles Knowwle Rowrerereregh and we have no idea why, Also there’s a lot of stuff with a ship’s captain that is less interesting than Victor Garber’s left ear.

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Where our we all agree that letters are ‘eyes only’.

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Listen to Episode 9×02 – 1:23:53

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Michael David joins us for the questionable season premiere Episode 9×01 – “Nothing Important Happened Today” with Xena Mermaid Princess. We learn about Skinner’s weird obsession with nameplates and the dog-pound is in need of a deep deep cleaning.

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Where our names are always on our desk.

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Listen to Episode 9×01 – 1:15:14

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Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head chopping good time in 8×20 “Essence” wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts… also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1×12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) “The Cap’n Toby Show” we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

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Where all you have to do is belieb.

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Listen to Episode 8×20 – 1:16:24

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Episode 8×19 – Alone

April 27th, 2016

Make yourself a really strong cup of coffee for episode 8×19 – “Alone” in which we meet the most terrifying monster of all time AND a salaMANder. The Lone Gunmen 1×11 “The Lying Game” proves yet again that Mitch Pileggi has all the acting chops and this mask technology is always going to be super creepy.

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Where we know the difference between reptiles and amphibians.

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Listen to Episode 8×19 – 1:15:30

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Episode 8×18 – Vienen

April 21st, 2016

Ian joins us for episode 8×18 – “Vienen” in which we tune our unburnt radios to 101.5 to say goodbye to the black oil and the career of Fox Mulder who will hopefully go somewhere and die… again. The Lone Gunmen 1×10 “Tango de los Pistoleros” was aired on television at one time.

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Where Kersh is a hero.

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Listen to Episode 8×18 – 1:54:15

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Episode 8×17 – Empedocles

April 14th, 2016

Will joins us for episode 8×17 – “Empedocles” wherein the boy who could fly is now made of evil cgi fire. Reyes and Mulder meet and say seemingly English words at each other for no other purpose than to torment Doggett. In The Lone Gunmen 1×09 “Diagnosis Jimmy” Byers is obsessed with Bears and Jimmy is in the hospital solving mysteries and inexplicably breaking hearts.

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Where ash people hallucinations are not valid proof of anything.

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Listen to Episode 8×17 – 2:04:40

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