Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

Tags: "I'm ready to J-O-B just not on some jagoff shoeshine tip", "Yo Homestyle cough up the rock", A case of the yips, Agent Diana Fowley, Agent Emma Hollis, Al Ruscio, Alex Krycek, Aliens, Alirio Ferreira, Angie WATCH YOUR BACK. #RougeCop #SeeSomethingSaySomething, Arson, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bad Girls, Basketball, Basketball Player, Basketball Sweaters, Brad Cupples, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bullfrog Andy is like a less interesting Boss Hogg, Canada, Candy-Apple, Candygram, Cassandra is the worst, Cassandra Spender, CastleCast, Check n' Spender, Chester George Barnabus Spender, China, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Conspiracy, Damon P. Saleem, David Duchovny, Department of Justice, Don S. Williams, Don't taste white powder found in envelopes, Dr. Eugene Openshaw, Et tu Stingray?, Exposition George, FBI Agent, Fifth Elder, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, First Elder, Flukie - Gold Medal Olympian, Fourth Elder, Frank Black Klea Scott, Frank Ertl, Frank Spotnitz, Frank turns into a dragon to escape an exploding building, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greg Evigan, Heidi Jenkins, Heroin, Hey Hollis? why are you cloaking out?, Hey transcript writers... are you OK?, Hollis is the worst, How did you get your clothes?, How is Diana still awake?, Human Essence, Humanzees, I'm pretty sure Chris Carter's version of "The Godfather" is closer to Corky Romano, In what way do they look like monsters?, introtox, introtox.com, Jeff Spender: American Hero and Champion of the Taxpayer, Jeffrey Spender, Kersh, Kill Switch, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, LEAVE SPENDER ALONE, Milk, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Monsters, Mr. Ho, Mulder and Scully might have gotten fired... AGAIN, Mulder is NOT a special snowflake, My Two Dads, Mythology, Nicholas Lea, Nick Tate, Nopenheimer, Nopenshaw, Paul Reiser, Paul Reiser and the other guy, Peter Outerbridge, Pizza Guy, Pool, PotentialCast, Powerpoint, Previously on, Racism, Relax your jaw and your pelvis, Samaria Graham, Scully's Short Skirt, Second Elder, Sexy Lego Robot Guard, So... you don't have evidence then..., Soooo apparently Krycek and Spender are immune to the extremely toxic alien blood, Special Agent Barry Baldwin Stephen E. Miller, Spender > Luke Skywalker, Stephen Chang, Stop being a dick to Spender, Stop smoking IN THE HOSPITAL, Take him to his damn mother already, Tammy Ginader, Tamra Caffrey, That is not what hybrid means, The cliffhanger of this episode rests on if you think Mulder might murder an innocent defenseless old woman, The Iron Sheik, The Pretender, The Proffessor SAT DOWN!, The Truth Out There, The X-Files, They had cleaned up the mythology and then they jump full force into all the awful garbage mythology, This doesn't make sense at all, This episode is brought you by hotmail: for when you don't really need your mail, Those faces rip off very easily, Trust no one, Two Fathers, Valerie Pettiford, Veronica Cartwright, Who are the two fathers?, Why aren't we working with the Rebels?, Why is everybody treating Spender like crap?, Why is Mulder hiding?, Why would shapeshifters need to mutilate their orifices, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, You should not use the same nickname for your girlfriend as your sister. That is weird.

It’s time for a Mitch Pileggi party as we watch the insanely wacky 80’s Wes Craven romp “Shocker”. Check you perimeter and your fake tree and get ready for a truly bonkers horror movie featuring the Stingray. We don’t quite know what happened at the end… but it was definitely awesome.

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Where everyone understands the abilities and limitations of television remote controls.

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Listen to Bonus Episode: Shocker – 1:21:13

Tags: ' Maybe you *were* my father... but you know who my father is now? You know who's responsible for me? Me. No one else.' UMMM You're your own father? WHAT?, 'Oh a seriel killer came back from the dead to posses randos and you can find him in your dreams? Cool! We're with you 100%', 'That's a felony.' 'That's a lock. Pick it', Alias, Alice Cooper, Alison, All of Jonathans friends are willing to die for him, All the blood, All the dead cats, All the Nightmare on Elm St Facts, Are there any conclusions to jump to? Just call Jonathan!, Awesome Sax, Beaver can't help you now, Bingham Ray, Black Majicks, Bound by the rules of TV?, Brad Cupples, Camille Cooper, Care Bear Stare, Chairy, Check your perimeter, Chris Hansen needs to be called to this park, Claire Laffar, Cooper, Diane, Did remotes that large actually exist?, Dream Warriors? How about Dream Amateur Detectives?, Emily Samuel, Fire in the Sky, Football Player, Frankenstein, Freddy's Dead The Final Nightmare, Fuck Football, Fuck the death penalty, Fuck the MPAA, Greatest Death Faces, Heather Langenkamp, Hey ghost pals? Could you leave me alone when I'm trying to bang my dead girlfriend?, His coach cares more about him than his father, Horace Pinker, I eat this wimp's will power for breakfast John-bo, If you make straight A's you don't need a goddamn piece of shit football scholarship, If you want to watch an execution you are a bad person, introtox, Jessica Craven, John Tesh, Jonathan Parker, Jonathan stop shaking that kid, JUST BUY ANOTHER DIVING MASK, Keith Anthony-Lubow-Bellamy, Kevin Dillon, Lagenkamp watch, Lawnmower Man 2: Job's war, Lt. Don Parker, Megadeth, Michael Murphy, Mitch Pileggi, multiple concussions, My Soul to Take, Nightmare on Elm Street, No more Mr. Nice Guy, Overly elaborate murder schemes, Pac Man, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Pennywise, Peter Berg, Peter Tilden, Pinker's injury is to his heart not his leg, Project Mayhem, Questionable heart failure bluffs, Rhino, Richard Brooks, Robin Burdge, Sam Scarber, Sax by the Fire, Sax on the Beach, Secret Murder Rooms, Serial killers in the 80s enjoyed their work, Shocker, Stop saying 'Daddy' you're a grown ass man, Super weird accents, Surprise Tractor Attack!, Tammy Ginader, Ted Raimi, The Joy of Sax, The most questionable local broadcasts ever, The People Under the Stairs, The Saxy Tesh Game, The X-Files, Theodore Raimi, This already questionable football team has been decimated, This is not what victimization feels like you unempathetic sociopath, This is screwball beyond belief, This movie is 1000x better than 'Look Who's Talking', ummm that's not how remote controls work, Vibomatic, Virginia Morris, Volts Wagon, Waterbed, We have no clue what happened at the end of this movie, We're so used to highschool students being played by people in their late 20's that we are shocked to find age appropriate college students, Weirdest Artists Depiction ever, Wes Craven, White trash yokel family, Why are people not more scared of the psycho-cop haphazardly shooting at an unarmed man, xfiles, You got it baby!, ZombieGhostCockBlock

Fire up the panpipes of xenophobia, Mulder & Scully are headed to Chinatown, where Lo Pan and his army of Jabbawockeez rule the night and fill its citizens with dread….and frogs. Also, Glen Chao: Undead Detective turns out to be a failed backdoor pilot for FOX, Mulder (as well as the rest of the audience) tries desperately to find a reason for them to be there without shooting someone and Scully sighs disgustedly.

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Forget it, Mulder, it’s only Chinatown.

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Listen to Episode 3×19 – 1:55:49

Tags: All you Dana Scullys and Lucy Lius get on da floor, Brad caught F Emasculata, Brad Cupples, Chris Carter rules, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Duchovny has all the acting chops, Fox Mulder, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Jabbawockeez, Lo Pan, Lo Panpipes of Xenophobia, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robin Burdge, Robin's tags are the best, Tammy Ginader, The X-Files, X-Files is the best thing ever

COCKROACHES!!! PANIC!! PANIC!!

Also, Chris from the UK stops by.

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DIE BUG DIE!

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Listen to Episode 3×12 – 2:13:37

Tags: Brad Cupples, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Fox Mulder, Gillian Anderson, introtox.com, Robin Burdge, Tammy Ginader, The X-Files

In this full service episode Mel, joins us to talk about the most awesome mountain grill ever created, the fattening properties of alien desert technology, intricate numerological findings, not-so-exciting cable car action scenes, and the dash-cam video travel-time logic puzzles.

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It’s better than mountain burgers.

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Listen to Episode 2×06 – 1:39:03

Tags: 1123 CE Emperor Sutoku succeeds Emperor Toba on the throne of Japan, 229 is a regular prime a long prime a twin prime (with 227) a cousin prime and a sexy prime. 229 is also a prime triplet, 3-5-1977 Chris Carter is molested by a man named Duane Barry, 311 stands for KKK because K is the 11th letter of the alphabet (Three 11s = Three Ks = KKK), 419 police code code for dead human body, 419 scam = the Nigerian money transfer fraud scam, 803 CE Stiftskeller St. Peter possibly Central Europe's oldest restaurant is founded, 88mph = Tram to the Future, Acting Chops, Alex Krycek, Alien Abductions, Aliens have the best deserts!, Angry Strangulation, Are our tram cables hugely unreliable, Ascension, Brad Cupples, Cable car action set piece of doom, Case Crackers, Chris Carter, Chris Carter was the Damon Lindeloff of the 90's, Cigarette-cek, Claire cannot tell how old Skinner is, Claire Laffar, Coming Through!, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deny Everything, Duane Barry, Enhance!, Face Punch via window, Flanel Season, Flipping the script on local law enforcement, Fly-cek, Fox Mulder, Full Service Grill, Gillian Anderson, Gish Gallop, Goodbye-cek, Grabbin' Foxes, Hair-cek, happenstance resistance training team, Harlan Ellison, hasty racoon tightrope team, Hasty Robbery Technician, Hatchie River treading team, hazardous robot terror team, hiccup risk treatment team, hippopotamus relations task team, hobo rights testimony team, How did the FBI get that video, HRT Team, I need your help?, If a Duane Barry drives up a mountain at 65mph and a tram car is going at 88mph..., introtox, Killer on the Catwalk, Leocal v. Ashcroft 543 U.S. 1 (2004) held that aliens may not be deported after being convicted of DUI if the DUI statute that defines the offense does not contain a mens rea element or otherwise allo, Leprechaun in the Hood, Mulder is too busy working on a sad beard to ask Krycek basic questions, Mulders father, Nicholas Lea, number-cek, Out-of-Office Action-Man Skinner, Pennywise the Clown, Pirate Radio Intro to X, Poison-cek, Robin Burdge, Robin explains how commercial breaks work, Robin tries to justify trunk lighting, Sarah Palmer, Scooping Robin and Tammy, Screamer Suit, Scully's Mom has psychic powers, Searching for the evil Mindu, Secret Alien Action Pregnancy, Sigh-cek, Skinner has permanent boner rage, Sly-cek, So none of this dudes coworkers know this guy's name? What happens when you shake his hand and introduce your self? Does he just stare? What a dick, Stephen King's IT, Steve Railsback, Supernatural, Tammy Ginader, The FBI's tastiest dishes, The monster of denial, The X-Files, There can be only one FBI pathologist, Trammy --No relation, Trying to find significance in random numbers is ridiculously insane, Turn over your files to the Hunky Rikshaw Team, Twin Peaks, Ummm hey Skinner when a phone rings you have to say 'hello' or NO ONE WILL KNOW YOU ARE THERE AND LISTENING. THIS IS THE SOCIAL CONTRACT!, Untested tram cables, Why does she call herself a skeptic but still wear silly Jeezo bling, William "The Marshal" Marshal 1st Earl of Pembroke AKA The most badass Knight in history, xfiles, You are 2 close 2 this case

Des pops in to talk about ‘Sleepless’ and Mulder’s super-shifty new pal Krycek. Candyman is playing Freddy Kruger Dream Warrior Games and things are more dangerous now than ever before… again. This is only the beginning, but for real this time.

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Where soldiers are encouraged to nap instead of murdering innocents for no reason.

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Listen to Episode 2×04 – 1:21:56

Tags: 21 Jump Street, 43 small internal hemorages and skeletal fragments which doesn't happen spontaneously... not without corresponding external trauma... so Freddy Kruger Powers cand wreck your insides but can't break sk, Alex Krycek, Alex Krycek is a square poindexter rookie on the force shaking things up, Alien Nation, Augustus Cole, Bob the Caretaker, Brad Cupples, Candyman, Candyman is playing Freddy Kruger Games, Captain Adam Fuller, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Creighton Duke, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Desiree Bingham, Electric Dreams, Fibber McGee closet, Fox Mulder, Freddy Kruger, Fuck the troops, Fuck you Chris Carter, Gender Bender, Gillian Anderson, Gish gallop exposition, Hey jackass maybe stop reading your shitty bible and start preventing massacres, If people could live without needing sleep the last people to deserve it are goddamn fucking soldiers, If you didn't need to sleep you'd think your apartment would be cleaner, Imaginary Fires, introtox, Jake 2.0, Jar Baby Mulder, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Jeff Goldblum is Claire's BFF, Jon Gries, Jonathan Gries, Leprechaun 4: In Space, Leprechaun in the Hood, Let's not excuse American warcrimes, Man standing in front of screens, Mitch Pileggi, Mood altering hair product, Mr. X, Mulder put on some goddamn socks you revolting beast-monster, Nicholas Lea, Pensacola Wut, Rat Boy, Robin Burdge, Robin tries to Chris Carter his Birthday into the episode, Roger Workman, Salvatore Matola, Scully has all the frequent flyer miles. ALL OF THEM, Scully is a 9 moth large problem, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepless, SlyCheck, Smohicke, SpyCheck, Steven Williams, Tammy Ginader, The X-Files, This doc has treated all 38 sleep issues, This was only the begining. It's more dangerous than ever... No seriously It's super super for reals this time, Tony Todd, Tricksy suicide methods, ummm Hey Krycek... why the fuck did you shoot to kill that guy? David Lynch lit this FBI office Action Krycek with evidence snatching grip, Uncle Rico, Vietnam Flute, Walkin' the Beat: A Cop RockCast, Walter Skinner, What is a Sneeze Mr. Mulder, What's on with Steph and Des, Why doesn't the government create something to make enemy soldiers sleepy instead, xfiles

Here’s a bonus episode that you can enjoy while you are celebrating either being a mom or having one or just knowing one. It’s a special little movie that is in no way a dark allegory for child abuse. It’s wacky! It’s totally 80s! It’s got Dan Aykroyd, Kim Basinger, Jon Lovitz and teensy weensy Willow and Oz! It takes comedy and smashes it over the head with a gigantic dum-dum hammer, pounding it into the ground until there’s nothing left but rubble only Mulder would look over. It also has a magic handbag with a one-eyed phallus in it that talks.

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Goodnight sanity, wherever you went.

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Listen to Bonus Episode “My Stepmother is an Alien” – 1:18:58

Tags: Alyson Hannigan, Brad Cupples, Claire Laffar, Dan Aykroyd, Kim Basinger, My Stepmother is an Alien, Robin Burdge, Tammy Ginader, The X-Files

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Silent co-host Kim unmutes again as we talk about the wackiness that is ‘Blood’ whilst raising our Blood Alcohol Content by playing an introtox drinking game! It’s a super awesome episode so grab some booze and play along if you want to test the amazing recuperative power of the human liver!

Official Introtox Drinking Game Rules

Shot
– Puns / jokes by Robin nobody laughs at
– Any mention of ramjack
– If Man is standing in front of screen appears in Claires DVD menu screen.
– Any time I have to say shut up Robin.
– If we reach 10 pieces of feedback.
– If any voicemail feedback goes over the 5 minute mark

Drink
– Going forward and back
– Puns / jokes by robin
– If there is a connection to Leprachauns… in the hood.
– If Robin tries to justify x-files logic.
– If Brad then corrects Robin with actual logic.
– If we offer up an alternate ending.
– Every time a “fun fact” is brought up about Chris Carter
– Every time we discuss an electronic item getting smashed (as we will be smashed… lame joke)

Be warned: shit is gonna get crazy. Don’t drive or operate heavy machinery whilst playing along. Maybe lock your phone up and send the kids to grandma’s house too.

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It’s like a kegger with aliens and monsters and mediocre actors.

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Listen to Episode 2×03 – 1:42:15

Tags: Aroused 2, Ashlyn Gere, Ballon Hair Mulder, Barman Dan, Blade Runner, Blood, Bonnie McRoberts, BoozeCast, Brad Cupples, Brad then corrects Robin with actual logic, Bruce Harwood, Bumpit: Forever making fools look like Pentecostal weirdos without resorting to skirts made of Jay Leno amounts of denim, Bush Pilots II: Deeper in the Bush, Captain Butt's Beach, Cheeks 5: Cop a Feel, Chris Carter Fun Facts, Cinco de Mayo, Claire Laffar, Cocksmokers 12, Cop Hillarious and Winters, Dana Scully, Darin Morgan, David Duchovny, David Nutter, DDT was banned because of enviornmental effects not because of possible harm to humans, Dean Haglund, DO IT!, Edward Funsch, Electronic Devices Getting Smashed, Extreme Sex 4: The Experiment, Flukey, Fox Mulder, Fun For the Money, George Touliatos, Gerry Rousseau, Gillian Anderson, Glacial Walls of Acting, Glen Morgan, Going forward and back, Good Things Happen When You Stay Drug Free, Gross Nosebleed Kid, Guns are the worst, He-Man-a-phobia, Hilarious rape warnings from machines, House of Whores, Inbox full of Blood, introtox, Ironic Jehovah's witness blood sample collectors, James Wong, John Cygan, John Fitzgerald Byers, Keeping Bread in your refrigerator is not only gross... but also ethically and morally wrong, Kill'em All, KILL'EM!, Kimberley Fowler, Kimberly Ashlyn Gere, Larry Winter, Leprechaun in the Hood, LSDM, Magnifying Glass Use Conspiracies, Man is standing in front of screen in Claires DVD menu screen, Maybe he's scared of Orange Juice, Melvin Frohike, Miami Connection, Monsanto Monsanto Monsanto, Mulder falls down more than a topless teenage girl at Camp Crystal Lake, Newhart, No one uses Spooky the way these fools do, Passing Notes at the X-Files retreat, Pennywise the Clown, Puppy Portraits, Put It in Gere, Ramjack, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robin Burdge, Robin tries to justify x-files logic, Scully loses her phone number, Sex 3: After Seven, Shadow People, Sheriff Spencer, Some people just look like victims, Sorority Sex Kittens 2, Subliminal messages are by definition subliminal not superliminal, Subliminal Messaging is not a thing. It's all based on a hoax. That shit has never happened, Tailiens 2, Tammy Ginader, Tequilla, That mechanic could be a maintenance man on Baywatch Nights, The blood alcohol content of this episode is competing with the episode rating, The Lone Gunmen, The One, The Security guard hates people smashing ATMs as much as Mike Huckabee hates everyone that isn't a heterosexual white Conservative Christian male in America of voting age, The United States is conducting terrorism against insects... this will lead to insects arbitrarily attacking other countries with drones, The X-Files, This episode is inspired by 5 and only 5 things, This shit makes no fucking sense at all and I don't give a fuck, Tom Braidwood, Total Reball, Um dawg where'd your sleaves go? Ya know what nevermind... have a scoop of dead flies, We grow apples and cherries therefore we need a giant civic center for our giant wickerman-esque farm conventions, Whackattack 5 Club Head, Who won and who lost cocksmokers 7?, Willard, William Sanderson, xfiles, You're afraid of rape? What a crazy phobia!, “Heart Disease is the number one killer of men in America... OPEN THIS MOTHERFUCKING DOOR!”, “OPEN THIS DOOR... I NEED TO PEEP THOSE TRIGLYCERIDES STAT!”

This may just be the best worst episode yet. It is disgusting, horrifying, and pumped full of completely unsanitary conditions that may cause you to just set yourself on fire because your life is over. Then again, one of the hosts may be totally smitten. Oh Flukey, you charming worm-humanoid-radioactive goo-thing, you are the apple of someone’s eye, if that apple wasn’t an apple and was actually raw sewage. And, friends, we’ll warn you right now, the puns get a little out of control this week.

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Make sure to keep a steady diet of livers to retain that stretchy feeling.

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Listen to Episode 2×02 – 1:43:32

Tags: 100th Facebook member power grab, 20 hours of shooting, Angel, Anita Budahas still can't dress herself, Astronaut Brad, Baywatch Nights episode The Rig, Brad Cupples, build a new sewer, Chris Carter is trying to reinvent Ghoulies, Claire has a desk hoover, Claire Laffar, Claire's sick and twisted desktop wallpaper choices, Craig has the worst day ever, Darin Morgan, David Duchovny, Demetri is a very common name in Mother Russia, Dr Claw, Duchovny, flipper feet, Flukeman, Flukey, Giant tapeworm in a straightjacket strapped to a gurney is Claire's favorite thing ever, Gillian Anderson, Glasses McBeardy, grossness, Heath's hoarder desk, helminths, hide the pregnancy, horrible puns, LA's sewers are amazing, Leprechauns in da Hood, little Flukey bum and sad frog feet, Live Bait, Man Standing in Front of Screens is elusive and mysterious, Meg Ryan, Mopey Mulder, Mulder owes child support, Mulder's gross desk, New Jersey, Nitpicker's Guide, once you are submerged in sewage your life is over, Park bench of sweet memories, Pennywise, poop monster, poop watching, Ray can't be trusted, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Robin Burdge, Robin's recording speedo, Scully's big coats, second season hair is working, set yourself on fire, shittiest episode of X-Files ever, shitting yourself and starving, shitty puns, Skinner's creepy friend Joe, Skipping Ahead, speedos are wrong, speedos that can be imagined away, Star(Wars extended universe)-crossed lovers, Tammy Ginader, Tammy's 12 year old mind, Tammy's J-TRO belt buckle tattoo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Host, The X-Files, Tommy Lee Jones, Tooms, Treat Yo Self, trout pout, Vincent, vomiting worm babies into your mouth, we get it, why is no one freaked out by this thing?!?, wrong time to eat salmon, X-Files Between the Lines

Oh dios mío! We are finally into Season 2 and it’s like we just started a new show! Should this have been the pilot? Tammy thought so! Meanwhile, Claire is seeing leprechauns, Robin is lashing out irrationally, and our guest Dave provides a very detailed 60 second(?) recap! Also, in the field report section, a mad Russian visits Canada and Mel is feeling a little green herself!

Brad is on special assignment in Puerto Rico with B-BURT for he is the master of the pew pew noises.

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Don’t forget to bundle up for that Miami humidity.

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Listen to Episode 2×01 – 1:50:35

Tags: Brad Cupples, Claire Laffar, David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Robin Burdge, Robin's tags are boring and need to be vetoed, Tammy Ginader, The X-Files