Grab your popcorn, Mila joins us to discuss David Duchovny’s second written and directed ep 7×19 – “Hollywood A.D.” A delightful frothy episode of complete nonsense. We get some proper Stingray and have all our theories confirmed.

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Where Scully has ALWAYS been in love with the Stingray.

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Listen to Episode 7×19 – 1:47:40

Tags: All fluff, Ally McBeal, Banzingo, Barry K. Thomas, Bees, Bill Dow, Bill Millar, Bones, Brain Breaking, breaking the fourth wall, bubble bath, cameo appearance, Cardinal O'Fallon, Chris Carter, Chuck Burks, Cigarrette Smoking Pontiff, crypt, Dana Scully, Dancing Bone, Daniel Duchovny, David Alan Grier, David Duchovny, David Duchovny Lines, Dharma bum to Dharma bomb, DID NO ONE EXAMINE THIS BOMBING?, Director, Don't have a gun, don't pick up a scalpal by the blade, Don't send your kids to Catholic School, drinking wine in the bathtub, Ed Wood, Every scene must have a button OR nine, extra whip and sprinkls Hold the vanilla, Faith is a form of insanity, Flavor, Fox Mulder, Future events such as these will affect you in the future, Garry Shandling, Gillian Anderson, God's refridgerator, gospel of mary magdalene, Harris Yulin, hindrance-slash-pain-in-the-neck, Hollywood A.D., I am the walrus, I think Tea Leoni is above this, Is he not the guy? Is he resurrected? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHO DID SHE AUTOPSY, Is it worse to be David Duchovny's wife or a bug, Jesse L. Martin scale, Jesus, Jon and Cooper, kooky, Lazarus Bowl, male in bathtub, Mass for the non-masses, meta, Micah Hoffman, Minnie Driver, Mitch Pileggi, Morris Fletcher, Mortal Kombat, Mulder's porn tapes on pause, New Moon Rising, No substance, no warrants. no permission. no research. Like studio executives with guns, Nora Dunn, Open your heart flap, Paperwork in his pants, Paul Lieber, Phantom of the Opera, Plan 9 From Outer Space, puns, Rational Zombie, RED ALERT: Jon has a boy cave, reference to ed wood, reference to jesus christ, Richard Gere, roadrunners, Rookie cops playing by their own rules, Rubble, Salamander Letter, Scully and Skinner 4Ever, shooting movie, Sister Spooky, Skin Man, Skinner is the best, Spector Situation, Spooky, Stingray, Sub Zero, Sugar Bear, Super Fancy Cardinal, talking on telephone in a bathtub, Talking salamanders aren't that stranger than angels, Tea Leoni, That's not how phones work, The Inner Sense Part One, The Pretender, THIS is the case that gets them suspended?, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, This phone bit is a nightmare, Thumbs-Up Dog, Tim Roe, Tina, Tina M. Ameduri, Tony Amendola, Walter Skinner, Wayne Federman, What is happening, Who fucked Dope?, Who's Doug's Mom?, woman in bath, You can find Mila keeping to herself, you Cigarette-Smoking Mackerel Snapper, Zombie

It’s time for the first X-Files movie. Matt joins us to discuss bees, herda hada yokel kids, and the proper etiquette for borrowing a friend’s clothing. We learn that if you forget the mythology up to this point and ignore the definitions of words it makes much more sense. We also have the greatest theme tune ever, a special surprise visit via explanatory monologue, and the reading of the contest winning fanfic.

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Where we Fight. Fight. Fight the Future.

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Listen to Fight The Future – 2:46:32

Tags: 1998, 2shy did it first, A lot of Bees in a Scully Suit, Alex Jones, Aliens don't need starbucks, Alvin Kurtzweil, Amani, American Gothic, Americans cannot handle Roundabouts, An Old-Fashioned Monkeyshiner, Anti-vaxxers bringing back preventable disease... That's one way to bring the future to its knees, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bees, Ben Bronschweig, Bill Mulder Choose Samantha to survive, Black Oil, Black-Haired Man Jason Beghe, Blackwood County, Blythe Danner, Bruce Harwood, Cavemen, charging box, Children of the Corn, Chris Carter, Chris Carter explains the mythology for four minutes, Chris is a hero, Cigarette Smoking Man, Conrad Strughold, Conspiracies, Cool Drinks, Dale from The Walking Dead, Darius Michaud, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dirtwater Kids, Disposable Orphans AKA Orphans, Djinn, Don S. Williams, Don't piss on buildings with friends, E.T., Fanfiction, Fellow Travellers, FEMA, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, Fighting the future, First Elder, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck People, George, George has a spaceship office, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greatest Theme Tune EVER, H.R. Giger Mat Paintings, herda hada yokel kids, How did he stumble into finding Scully's clothes... wait... how did he even find Scully?, How did they get to/fro Antarctica?, How is Krycek not in the movie, How many alien groups are there?, How would the colonist use/control the black oil at all assuming they are different species, If FEMA is the secret govenment why do you have to coverup things at a YOUR office, Independence Day, Infect with black oil cook to 500° for 35 min let scary monster erupt from chest, Jana Cassidy, Jeffrey De Munn, Jerry Watts, Jerry Watts death is Mulder's fault, Jesse Ventura, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Neville, Kermit the Frog, Knockout bees, Like a time capsule android programmed to shoot ya... That's one way to fight the future, Little Travellers, Live Tweets from Tammy, Locale Latin Cabaret References, London England, Long Con, Lucas Black, Mark Snow... are you ok?, Martin Landau, Melvin Frohike, Michael Shamus Wiles, Mitch Pileggi, Monkeyshines, Monsanto Monsanto Monsanto, Mr. Mulder PULL THE STRINGS! PULL THE STRINGS!, Mulan, Mulder could solve so many X-Files if he spent as much time looking at family photos as he does the National Enquirer, Mulder gets shot in the head at point blank range, Mulder's Genie, Murder by Numbers, Mustache Acting, No chatting whilst urinating, Orphan Children, Panic Face, Plinky-plonky music, PolarVortex, Rabid Hungry Orphans, Rent-An-Orphan, Richard Langly, Rob Bowman, Second Elder, Secret Chris Carter Explanatory Monologue Interruptions, Secret Government, Smash your smartphone and burn your "computure", Smilla's Sense of Snow, So we're just redoing the begining of season two?, Special Agent Dana Scully, Special Agent Fox Mulder, Spooky, Stay-Puft Marshmellow Boobs, Stevie Richardson, Stingray, Stop playing with skulls you dirtwater monster, Sunflower Seeds, T.C., Tammy Memories, Teliko, Teliko is a party dude, Teliko Riding on a Bee is clearly a stingray shipper, Tell. Don't Show: The Legacy of Chris Carter, Terry O'Quinn, Texas, That creepo alien umbilical cord was gross, That's your friends coat you asshole! Don't throw it in a gutter, The CDC, The Ghost of Christmas Future, The Lone Gunmen, The Matrix, The Office of Professional Review, The Pretender, There are sooo many things that bees DO pollinate could they pick one of those to use, There's no way for them to be blamed for this, There's only one grain that we make spooky mazes out of, These Plans don't make sense, This Cover-up doesn't make sense, This is bonkers, Tom Braidwood, Trigger Warning: Matt briefly mentions the 9/11 of humans: Jack Black at the 1:59:15 mark, Troll 2, UFO, Ummm... bees don't pollinate corn, Unnecessary Suicides, Vaccine, Well-Manicured Man, What is the deal with the cornfields, Why are the aliens in this movie just scary monsters?, Why would you make a deal with these aliens?, William B. Davis, Words that they use wrong: Clone. Hybrid. Vaccine. Virus., X-Files The Movie: Fight The Future, You want evidence? Here have a bee.

Ya know that shadowy unnamed villain? How would you like to know all of his secrets? OR what if we waste over 44 min of your life by giving you a ton of garbage that in no way matches up with the show you’ve been watching up to this point? Better yet let’s try and force you to sympathize with him whilst hijacking the murders of actual humans for our shitty TV show. It’s ok we’re baby-boomers we own history and can exploit tragedy for commercial tat all we want! P.S. If you don’t like it it doesn’t even matter #Loophole #FuckYou Chris joins us to discuss “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man” and the Millennium episode “Blood Relatives”

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Where nonsense conspiracy theories will always have hammers dropped on them.

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Listen to Episode 4×07 – 2:14:27

Tags: "Hey I'm just trying to keep up", 1962, 1963, 1991, 1992, 1996, A fouty four minute fuck you to the audience, A troubled orphan, all the facts, All The President's Men, Anita Hill, Apology Thwarting, Apparently Chris Carter was among the people that didn't have a fucking clue what was happening in this episode, Arbitrary use of black and white, assassinations, Baby Boomers, Bane, Baywatch Nights, Bill Mulder, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Buffalo Bills, Chris JC, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Coincidence, CSM-25 countermeasure filter, Dan Zukovic, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Fredericks, Dean Aylesworth, Deep Throat, Dermot Mulroney, Doctor Who, Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour Podcast, Donnelly Rhodes, Dummy-Repeating-Exposition-Detective, Dutch, Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation, Everybody can have plenty of blame there's no reason to serve it just to Chris Carter, Feel free to send us candy money pizza or scotch, Forrest Gump, Fort Bragg, Fox Mulder, Frank Spotnitz, Frohike should be dead, Fuck you baby-boomers, Fun Ride is the cloak of cowards, Gecko, General Francis, Gillian Anderson, Gingervitis, Glen Morgan, Greer Cort, Hacky, Henry IV part one, Hordak, How the fuck was anyone associated with this garbage nominated for anything other than unemployment?, I can kill you whenever I please... but not today, I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this episode, Indiana George, introtox, introtox.com, J. Edgar Hoover, Jack Colquitt, James Earl Ray, James Wong, Jerry Hardin, JFK, Jimmy Olsen, Joe DiMaggio, John F. Kennedy, John Fitzgerald Byers, Just listening to this to write tags is raising my blood pressure, Last Breath, Laurie Murdoch, Laziest fucking writers room on the planet, Lee Harvey Oswald, Life is like a box of chocolates, Lone Gunman, Lydon, magazine, Martin Luther King Jr., Melvin Frohike, Millennium, Miracle on Ice Hockey Match, Morgan Weisser, Movies, Mr. Hunt, Mul-dor bland minion of Skeletor, Mulder was a smug douche as a baby, Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man, My advice? Burn it! It stunk, Nicotine Patch, Oliver Stone is a crank, Paul Jarrett, Peter Hanlon, Quantum Leap, Rang Dang Do, Raul Bloodworth, Red Dwarf, Red Skull, Resignation letter, Robin Burdge, Rodney King Trial, Roman a Clef, Ronald, Smoking Man, So there were no aliens between Roswell and 1991 now? Is Samantha still part of the mythology or should we ignore that like every other piece of 'mythology' that gets obliterated on a weekly basis?, Soap, Space: Above and Beyond, Spooky, Super Bowl, Swashbuckling George, Take a Chance: A Jack Colquitt Adventure, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn's Mustache, The Comedian, The Commedian, The Lone Gunmen, The Magic Bullet, The Mark Snow - Murray Gold - Hanz Zimmer of our Generation, The New Mustache Man, This episode is completely disposable, Tom Braidwood, Trust no one, UFO wreck, ugh Frohike not being killed off is the cherry on the top of this shit sundae, UN resolution 1013, Wasted Opportunity, We devise at least two dozen better versions of this ep, We're not exactly sure of what happened on Millennium but it was still better than X-Files, What is the new Interpretation Scully? WHAT IS IT?, What the fuck happened between George arriving and leaving to make him not kill Frohike?, Where the fuck are the elders? Or anyone, Where the hell is Darin Morgan, Who the fuck put an alien on a ventilator?, Why do they have a sign?, Why does the alien have a ventilator?, William B. Davis, Winnie The Pooh, Winter Soldier, X-Files, xfiles, You're Skeptical of Victim's Services? Really?, Young William Mulder

Matt joins us as we discuss the hilarious pile of garbage/Kristen Cloke demo tape “The Field Where I Died”
Mulder is sacrificing multiple lives in order to try and out-crazy a crazy person whilst pouting his way through a baffling hour of television seemingly made by humans for other humans. Also Millennium continues to be amazing.

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Where David Duchovny’s acting choices are never given a pass.

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Listen to Episode 4×05 – 1:51:56

Tags: 4:27, 522666, Acting Chops, Agent Jack Pierson, Agent Riggins, All characters named Melissa are the worst, American Civil War, Anthony Harrison, Apison Tennessee, Asshole Biddle Bridge, astral projection, ATF, Attorney, BATF Agent, Baywatch Nights, Behold I am life evermore, Billy Crystal, Brad Cupples, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Chattanooga Tennessee, Child Abuse, Chris Carter, Civil War Trench Bunkers, Claire Laffar, Claire really Mark Snow's the background music on this one, Columbo, Comedy Hijinx, Counting to potato with Fox Mulder, cult, Damon Lindelof and Chris Carter might be the same person. PROVE ME WRONG!, Dangerously disastrous faux medical treatment on an already psychological damaged person, David Duchovny, David Duchovny Cry Face, David Koresh, David Nutter, Donna White, Doug Abrahams, Douglas Roy Dack, Face Touching, Flukeman, Frank Black, Geanie, Gestapo George, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Gregorian Monk Chants, Harbaugh, Harry Truman, Herda Hada, I Died, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, Jim Jones, Jimmy Durante, Jonestown Massacre, Jordan Black, Kaboom, Kool-aid, Kristen Cloke, Krycek is the Little Traveler, Lance Henriksen, Les Gallagher, Lilly, Matt Humprey, Megan Gallagher, Melissa Rydell Ephesian, Michael Dobson, Michael Massee, Mighty Man, Mitch Pileggi, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mulder gets a grip of people killed, Mulderpout, multiple personality disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder may, One-Woman Show, Paracelsus, Past Lives, Peter Watts, Psychic Tammy, Regression hypnotherapy is You saw it. You heard it. Why can't you believe it?, Reincarnation, Rob Bowman, Robin Burdge, Robin Williams, Sam Anderson, Scully is getting worn down by all the dumb, Seriously though... what is the deal with the background music?, Seriously?, shirking responsibility to follow idiotic whims, Sidney, So much crazy, Souls aren't a thing, Space: Above and Beyond, Spooky, Tammy Ginader, Temple of the Seven Stars, Terry O'Quinn, That's a ROUGH 25, The Cabin, The Calusari, The Crow, The Field Where I Died, The Mighty Men, The stupidest deleted scenes ever, The ugliest triplets are back, THE WORST, There are 18 minutes cut that they were unable to make room for?, They really thought they were making an award winner on this one, This is clearly just Kristen Cloke's failed MADTV audition. The idea that there could actually be such a thing as a 'failed' MADTV audition is the true X-Files, This is garbage, This is so dumb, Thurston Bane III, TN is a rancid shithole of awful, Transcendence, Trying sooooo hard, Vernon Ephesian, Waco massacre, Walter Skinner, What is up with your rig out ponytail lawyer?, What the fuck is a soul? Somebody differentiate the known emergent property of the brain referred to 'the mind' from a 'soul' in any meaningful way, WHY IS MULDER ASKING QUESTIONS IN THE THERAPY SESSION?, World War II, X-Files, xfiles, ye olde drawer of random loose civil war photos, Yikes... just yikes, You're Dead!

Moira joins us in our bile nest of fun as we watch a super creepy episode. The Female Bashing Investigative Agency is in high form in this episode as Scully is torn between douchebags and Old Spooky, who has got some perfectly reasonable ideas about 100 yr old liver eating stretch-armstrong mutants. There’s an insanely weird half formed plot involving a wistful old cop. Warning! At the 17:08 mark Claire breaks all the rules of proper podcasting by making a comment about someones dress, we completely understand if you find yourself unable to listen to this part and need to file a formal list of grievances with the podcast union.

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It’s the coziest bile-nest on the net!

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Listen to Episode 1×03 – 1:16:08

Tags: Baths and Showers, Bile and Newspaper Nest, Blade Hands, Blatant Sexism, Brad Cupples, Child Marriage, Claire Laffar, Comments about dresses, Cranky old man Tooms just wants to go to bed, David Duchovny, Diminishing the holocaust, Doug Hutchison might be creepier than Tooms, Eugene Victor Tooms, Family Call-in Block, Getting Bitch-Slapped by Exposition, Gillian Anderson, Gollum, handsy neckless grabs, I was a Douchebag for the FBI!, Inability to communicate thwarts the FBI, IT, John's Future, Lamest Nickname Ever, Locke and Horace sitting in a tree, Look behind the matress dum dums, look up... look around... look behind you, Moira Browne, Mulder is a weirdo nerdlinger, Mutants need to make better Investments, My precious, Ninja Turtles is not an x-file, Opening Credits Flying Man, Pennywise, Polygraphs are wack, Robin Burdge, Scully bra watch, Secret Stretchy FBI Fingerprint Tech, Sleepsloth, Spooky, Spooky seedpod or Extra-Terestrial Testicle?, Squeeze, Stretch and grow, Stretch Armstrong, Sunflower seeds are gross, Tammy Ginader, THE CONSEQUENCES OF ETHNIC CLEANSING, The monster of Genocide, The oldest cop, The X-Files, There are no arbitrary language restriction on this podcast... as long as I live, Tom is the worst, Twin Peaks, unjustifiable LEAPS in logic, Weird Actor produced fan fiction, Wild controversial dress discussion