Michael David is here to help us discuss 10×04 – “Home Again” wherein graffiti OR a sculpture comes alive to thwart people that want to shelter the homeless. Also a prime opportunity for Kristen Cloke is given away to a weirdo that can never fill her shoes. And the Scully family continues to be the worst.

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Where we all hope Mulder doesn’t try to un-cremete Ma Scully.

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Listen to Episode 10×4 – 1:58:23

Tags: Alessandro Juliani, Arcadia, Band-Aid Nose Man, body torn apart, Charlie was right, Chris Shields, Dana Scully, Daniel Jacobsen, Daryl Landry, Daryl Shuttleworth, David Duchovny, Detective Gross, Dr. Louise Colquitt, Drunk Reyes, Forensic Technician, Fox Mulder, Fuck the Scully Family, Garbage Monster, Gary Sekhon, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, graffiti, homelessness, Jack Budd, Jannen Karr, John DeSantis, Joseph Cutler, Margaret Scully, mother in a coma, Nancy Huff, Nurse Taillie, Peggy Jo Jacobs, Proudley, Sachin Sahel, Seth Whittaker. Fitzpatrick, Sheila Larken, Tim Armstrong, Trashman, Tulpa, Veena Sood, William

If you like questionable parenting decisions and Chris Carter writing you’ll love Episode 9×09 – “Provenance” in which Damian Dahrke uses his alien totem to try and slowly awkwardly kill Scully’s baby. Luckily Scully pretty much has the same goal. Also more rubbings of space ships that could “change everything” again.

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Where we’re pretty sure there’s faster ways to kill a baby.

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Listen to Episode 9×09 – 1:32:54

Tags: Agent Terry Sullivan, Alan Dale, Alias, Aliens, Alvin Kersh, Annabeth Gish, Arrow, border patrol, Brad Cupples, Brad Follmer, Bradley Cooper, Bruce Harwood, Cary Elwes, Chris Carter is the worst, Claire Laffar, Creeper Doggett, Damien Darhk, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Denis Forest, Dogget and Reyes are Fucking #ScienceFact, Dogget cannot get over that shoe thing from John Doe, Dramatic Map Reading, Drunk Reyes, excavation, Fake Frank Black, fireball, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, James Parks, James Pickens Jr., jessup maryland, John Doe, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Josepho The Clown, Lone Man, Lost World, Margaret Scully, McNally Sagal, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, motorcycle chase, motorcycle crash, motorcycle jump, Mulder and Scully are asexual rice cakes, Neal McDonough, Oh is Mulder supposedly dead AGAIN? cool idea again, Overcoat Woman, Postpartum depression, Reyes doesn't have feelings anymore... accept about Johnny Walker, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Comer, Robert Patrick, Sheila Larken, Skinner hiding in the curtains, Stats and Scores are Updated on the Website, Super Soldiers, Tammy Ginader, Tarot Cards, The Lone Gunmen should not be given a baby, THIS DOES NOT MEAN EVERYTHING THAT MANKIND BELIEVES WOULD BE IN QUESTION, Tom Braidwood, Toothpick Man, Walter Skinner, Why aren't we being quoted in Wikipedia, Why were they still in the alley?, Why would anyone go to North Dakota from Canada?, Will Tippin, Worst Mother Ever, X-Files, xfiles, Your Podcast Network is the lamest

Michael David returns for the shocking? conclusion to the season premiere Episode 9×02 – “Nothing Important Happened Today II” in which Xena Mermaid Princess battles Knowwle Rowrerereregh and we have no idea why, Also there’s a lot of stuff with a ship’s captain that is less interesting than Victor Garber’s left ear.

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Where our we all agree that letters are ‘eyes only’.

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Listen to Episode 9×02 – 1:23:53

Tags: Alvin Kersh, Annabeth Gish, Baby William, Brad Cupples, Brad Follmer, Bruce Harwood, Carl Wormus, Cary Elwes, Chris Carter is a sexist creep, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dead Eye Reyes, Dean Haglund, Flukie, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Jane Yamamoto, John Casino, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Lucy Lawless, Margaret Scully, Maybe do anything except drive into the water?, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, Nameplates, News Anchor, Nicholas Walker, Nothing Important Happened Today, Reverse George Scenario, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Roland McFarland, Shannon McMahon, Sheila Larken, Stingray, Tammy Ginader, Thats a weirdly big tie, the imdb tags for this ep are especially random and weird, The Little Mermaid, Tom Braidwood, Travis Riker, Walter Skinner James Pickens Jr., Where are here clothes?, Why did they change the mythology AGAIN already?, Why was a shapeshifting alien healer saving people from becoming super soldiers?, Why would anyone want Mulder to be a super soldier?, Why would you need an evil table to make super soldiers?, X-Files, Xena, Xena Mermaid Princess, xfiles

Michael David joins us for the questionable season premiere Episode 9×01 – “Nothing Important Happened Today” with Xena Mermaid Princess. We learn about Skinner’s weird obsession with nameplates and the dog-pound is in need of a deep deep cleaning.

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Where our names are always on our desk.

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Listen to Episode 9×01 – 1:15:14

Tags: Alvin Kersh, Annabeth Gish, Baby William, BIG, Brad Cupples, Brad Follmer, Bruce Harwood, Carl Wormus, Cary Elwes, Chris Carter is a sexist creep, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dead Eye Reyes, Dean Haglund, Flukie, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Jane Yamamoto, John Casino, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Lucy Lawless, Margaret Scully, Maybe do anything except drive into the water?, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, Nameplates, News Anchor, Nicholas Walker, Nothing Important Happened Today, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Roland McFarland, Shannon McMahon, Sheila Larken, Stingray: Judgemental Office Worker, Tammy Ginader, Thats a weirdly big tie, the imdb tags for this ep are especially random and weird, Tom Braidwood, Travis Riker, Walter Skinner James Pickens Jr., Where are here clothes?, Why did they change the mythology AGAIN already?, Why was a shapeshifting alien healer saving people from becoming super soldiers?, Why would anyone want Mulder to be a super soldier?, Why would you need an evil table to make super soldiers?, X-Files, Xena, Xena Mermaid Princess, xfiles

Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head chopping good time in 8×20 “Essence” wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts… also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1×12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) “The Cap’n Toby Show” we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

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Where all you have to do is belieb.

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Listen to Episode 8×20 – 1:16:24

Tags: #ActingChops, #ImWithDoggett, #NotWithHer, 1st Woman Party-Goer, A new alien? seriously?, Agent Blythe, Agent Gene Crane, Agent Krang, Alex Krycek, Annabeth Gish, Arlene Warren, Believe, Ben Bass, Billy Miles, Brad Cupples, Brian Drummond, Bruce Harwood, Cap'n Tobey, Captain Toby, Captain Toby's Wife, Chris Carter is the worst, Claire Laffar, Cowabunga, Cyia Batten, Dan Ginader, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Purdham, Dean Haglund, Denise Crosby, Douglas Newell, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. James Parenti, Dr. Lev, Dr. Mary Speake, Duffy Haskell, Duffy the bear, Eric Pospisil, Essence, Evil vitamins, Fox Mulder, Frances Fisher, Fred Tabalowski, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Ironpigkid on youtube for all your minecraft needs, Jasmin Dring, Jason takes manhatten, Jay Acovone, Jimmy Bond, Jodelle Ferland, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Gillnitz, Jozie, Kids wacked out on PCP, Kirk B.R. Woller, Langly is a real weirdo, Lead Agent, lil Doggett, Little Girl, Lizzy Gill, Margaret Scully, martinelli's sparkling cider, Melvin Frohike, Michael Eklund, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, Nicholas Lea, Puppeteer, Reporter #2, Reyes is the worst, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Scully's mother is the worst, Sheila Larken, Shredder, skin sloughing aliens, Souls aren't real, SpartaCast, Stephen Snedden, Steven Anderson, Tammy Ginader, The Lone Gunmen, The Sense8 Podcast, The worst name, Titanic, Tom Braidwood, Tom Poston, Walter Skinner, Weiner Man, What do I tell this child about to be born? What do I tell Scully? And what do I tell myself?, X-Files, xfiles, Young Langly, Yves Adele Harlow, Zachary Ansley, Zahf Paroo, Zuleikha Robinson

Ian joins us for the handiwork of Chris Carter episode 8×15 – “Deadalive”. Mulder’s return from death, autopsy, embalming, and three months in the ground is questionable as Scully 11 month pregnancy. On the plus side Little Doggett and Slycek face off. The Lone Gunmen 1×07 “Planet of the Frohikes” features a talking chimpanzee named Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, and therefore is the best episode of Lone Gunmen ever.

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Where we call sentient intelligent creatures by the name they choose.

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Listen to Episode 8×15 – 1:31:07

Tags: Alex Krycek, Arthur Gaffin, Billy Miles, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Bruno Verdoni, car crash, Christian Mythology is as nonsensically convoluted and useless as X-Files Mythology, Claire Laffar, Cleopatra 2525, continued from previous episode, Cooky Coroner's, Daisy Kersh, Dana Scully, David Doty, David Duchovny, David Duchovny Mask, Deadalive, Dean Haglund, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. Francis Orovetz, Dr. Haspliss, Dr. Lim, Easter, Edward Woodward, exhumation, fighting with a car driver, flag draped coffin, floating body, Fox Mulder, Gibby Brand, Gillian Anderson, Go Fuck Yourself, grave side ceremony, He is risen, He was autopsied embalmbed and buried in the ground without oxygen for THREE MONTHS, healer, Heart attack, introtox, introtox.com, It's not yours, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Kersh, Larry Dorf, Leland Crooke, Mad Sick Burns From CarriK and BradC, male in shower, man on life support, Manly Man Meter, Margaret Scully, Melvin Frohike, Minister, Mitch Pileggi, Monkeys, Morgue, Nanobots, Nelson Mashita, Nicholas Lea, No More Mulders, Pathology Assistant, Peanuts, Peter Bryant, Pierre, Pierre Boulle, piss and vinegar, Planet of the Frohikes, quoting jesus, raining, returning from the dead, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Richard McGonagle, Robert Patrick, Run Little Doggett, seizure, Sergeant, Sheila Larken, Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, skin peeling off, Slycek, Spycek, Stephen Snedden, Stingray, Stringrays baby, T-1000, Tammy Ginader, Terminator Times, That's not how decomposition work, That's not how vaccines work, The Five Heartbeats, The Lone Gunmen, The Math is absolutely impossible, This is nonsense, Tom Braidwood, transformation, Walter Skinner, Web of Queer Podcast, Why did they spend money on this fisherman scene?, wilmington north carolina, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zachary Ansley, Zuleikha Robinson

Happy Kershmas, Friends! Amanda joins us as we embark on Terminator Times and reunite with our cupcake baking hero Alvin Donald Kersh. Filipino chess champ Gibson Praise is back to being the key to everything again. And Mulder endures the terrors of an evil table.

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Where we all wonder how well we *REALLY* know each other.

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Listen to Episode 8×01 – 1:24:50

Tags: "Steel Magnolias" is delightful, 1013, a man's man, Agent Danny Mosley, Amanda can be found right here in THESE VERY TAGS! ...when not lurking elsewhere, Arizona... it's for passing through, Arlene Malinowski, Battlebot, Bruce Harwood, But... how well do you REALLY know your partner, Christine Firkins, Claire is throwing this kid under the bus, Cleopatra 2525, Col. Tiny Eyes, Cupcakes, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Denny Crane, Do Not Cross Daisy Kersh, Don't build scaffolding next to pylons, eurocopter as350 squirrel, Evil table, Evolution, Falling Mulder, Family, Family burial plots are weird, FBI Agent, Fetus Eclipse, Filipino Chess Prodigy, Fire in the Sky, Fox Mulder, Giant leaps of logic, Gibson Andrew Praise, Gibson is STILL the proof of everything?, Gillian Anderson, Haley Joel Osment, Hey transcript writers... are you OK?, How well do you know your partner, I was very close to putting 'I Know Him So Well' from Chess: The Musical at the end of this. I still want credit for how clever a choice it would have been, Jeff Gulka, Jo-Ann Dean, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jonathan Palmer, Keep Me The Fuck Out Of Chester County TN, Kersh, Kershmas Miracle, Kids on the loose!, Leave Kersh Alone, Little Face, Marc Gomes, Margaret Scully, Mauser's Day Out, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mustache Man in Star Wars, new boss, Nonsense, One more thing... how well did you know your partner, Paul Moncrief, pregnant, Principal, Promotions, Psychic Connections, Raleigh North Carolina, Reality Check, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Sad Sack Scully, Secretary, Sheila Larken, So how well did you know your partner, Spender, Stingray, Stop being angry at people helping you, T-1000, Teacher, Teena Mulder, Terminator Times, That's a rough looking kid, The Dream Child, The Family Stache, The Room, Thea Sprecher, This is nonsense, throwing drink in face, Tom Braidwood, Tombstone, Walter Skinner, When the Mulder hits your eye like a big pizza pie, Where was Jesus in this?

Evangeline is here to help us bury Scully’s dead monster-garbage-baby in 5×07 “Emily”. It somehow goes out of it’s way to be mad boring and brings an unmissed David Duchovny back into the show. Millennium 2×07 “19:19″
is a creepy delight with crazy kid snatching Jeezos and Kristen Cloke.

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Where the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

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Listen to Episode 5×07 – 2:11:26

Tags: "I'm sick of Tim Curry sneaking into this country and taking my jobs" --Wilford Brimley, 19:19, Anna Fugazzi, Annie, Bill Scully Jr., Bob Morrisey, Brad Cupples, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Chris Carter hired upwards of four teenage poets as assistants to punch-up X-Files monologues, Christian Hoff, Christmas Carol, Claire Laffar, clone, Colleen Rennison, Cuckoo-Banana-Pants Indeed, David Abbott, David Duchovny, dead babies, Detective Kresge, Dr. Ernest Calderon, Dr. Vinet, Emily Sim, Evangeline, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Frohike, Gerard Plunkett, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, How Dumb is Mulder, Hybrids, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, Jarbaby, Jessica Cayce, John Pyper-Ferguson, John Shiban, Judge Maibaum, Karri Turner, Kid snatching, Kim Manners, Kristen Cloke, Lance Henriksen, Lara Means, Last Tango in Halifax, Lauren Diewold, Lazy Plot Conveniences, Life with Louie, Louie Anderson, Margaret Scully, Matthew Prine, Melvin Frohike, Millennium, Millennium Minute, Miss Hannigan, Mulder spends roughly half of his time finding vials with Scully's name on it, nothingness, old ladies having babies, Pat Skipper, Patricia Dahlquist, Peter Watts, Potato Drawings, Radom.org, Sandman, Sheila Larken, Sheila Patterson, Sheriff John Cayce, Shockingly little conflict, Steven Rankin, Susan Chambliss, Tammy Ginader, Tara Scully, Terry O'Quinn, That's not what a Mr. Potato Head looks like at all, The Federal Bureau of Imagination, The San Diego Hall of Justice, There is nothing for Scully to do in this episode except be tortured, There's never a time to be walking on sand, They let Scully have a kid less time than she had a dog, This show actively tries to make us think the leads are morons, Thomas J. Wright, Tim Curry, Tom Braidwood, Tornado, Twister, Vince Gilligan, Whimsical Rape, WHY DOESN'T HE KNOW WHERE HE IS? HE WENT THERE TWICE., Wilford Brimley, Willy Wonka, X-Files, xfiles

Happy Holidayzzz! Moira and Josh join us for 5×06 Christmas Carol. It’s xmas time and this year we get a (practically) David Duchovny free episode! Though we do have to suffer through Ghost-Choker Melissa and Terrible-Human Bill Scully. Also that demon seed monster baby from Millennium is back and this time… it’s a Scully. Millennium 2×06 “The Curse of Frank Black” is an amazing creepy Halloween nightmare.

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Where you will never have to wake up to Bill Scully’s giant gross face.

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Listen to Episode 5×06 – 2:11:26

Tags: 14-year-old Frank, 5-year-old Frank, 6:37 Mustache Man, A Thousand Men and a Baby, A. J. Adamson, Adoption, Awkward Family Dinner, Bill Scully is a dick, Bill Scully Jr., Bletch, Breaker High, Brittany Tiplady, Can a professional kidnap victim adopt? Apparently Not., Choker, Christmas, Danny, Dean Winters, Demons, Detective Kresge, Devil-ed Eggs, Devils, Don't forget to vote on Nov 7th if you are in the U.S., Don't give children gross religious paraphernalia, Dr. Ernest Calderon, dummy kid Scully, Emily Sim, Everything playing in 1997, Everytime the camera pulls away Scully pulls out a bottle of Johnny Walker, FBI Courier, Flubber, Frank Black, Gerard Plunkett, Ghost Storyteller, Ghosts, Halloween, Hard Target, Hobo, Joey Shea, John Pyper-Ferguson, Jordan Black, Karri Turner, Kenny G, Kett Turton, Lachlan Murdoch, Lance Henriksen, Lauren Diewold, Less rape than the previous episode, LET HER GET SOME SLEEP, Let's get real... this show won't let Scully have a dog. They aren't going to let her have a kid, maggot rabbit, Margaret Scully, Marshall Sim, Melinda McGraw, Melissa Scully, Moira's Medical Minute, Moira's Murder Advice Minute, Mr Crocell, Mustache Man, Out with the Old in with the Shrew, Pat Skipper, Pathologist, Patricia Dahlquist, People love delivering bad news on Christmas, Pregnant Women are Smug, Rebecca Codling, Rob Freeman, Ryan de Boer, s, Scully Falls Asleep: THE EPISODE, Sexism, Shaun Topl, Sheila Larken, So many xmas shipping miracles, State Sponsored Murderers, Susan Chambliss, Tara Scully, Tara you are the worst, That is Bill's kid that he gave up because he's the worst, The Ask Jeeves of the FBI, The most gigantic syringe ever, The Rabbit Died -- the weirdest saying ever, There Should have been a choker in that goddamn box, This cop does not sleep EVER, This Medical Examiner could only have been more hillarious if played by Wilford Brimley, Walter Marsh, Whimsical Rape, Wilforf Brimley, Zoë Anderson

Jason and Matt join us for Redux Part 2 the final part of a three part… epic? Bill Scully Jr. remains the worst. We uncover the questionable dental coverage for the Elders and we repeatedly drag a reluctant Claire back to Scully’s Room. Meanwhile Sheriff Frank fights evil man-eating canines in Bucksnort for Millennium 2×02 “Beware of the Dog”

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Where we are always careful with our caramel apples.

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Listen to Episode 5×02 – 1:56:35

Tags: "Quiet Willy", A guy so super smart that he's able to pretend to be qualified for different jobs, Acting Chops, All the sexual tension, Allen Coulter, Anita Wittenberg, Arnie Walter, Arnie Walters, Barry W. Levy, Beware of the Dog, Bill Scully is such a dick, Bill Scully Jr., Blevins in a battle of Actor vs Monologue, Brad Cupples, Brent Butt, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Bucksnort, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cancer, Cancer Causing Alien Virus, Candy Apples, Catherine Black, Charles Cioffi, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Cora, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dogs, Don S. Williams, Dr. Zuckerman, Duchovny attempting to cry and/or eating Scully's hand, Ethan Raine, Evil Dogs, Faith is the most useless concept ever imagined, Father McCue, First Elder, Forcibly taking Claire back to Scully's room, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Fun Facts, George, George is down!, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Herda Hada, Hoax, Holly, Holly set this whole thing in motion because Scully is cockblocking her 24/7, How did he not notice that camera the last time he ripped his apartment apart looking for bugs, How long was he in that stairwell?, Hybrids, I wonder when Teena will find out that her son is dead/alive, If the Millennium Group knew what was going on couldn't they have just sent a uhaul down and taken care of this whole problem in a minute?, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, Jeezo Nonsense, John Finn, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jordan Black, Julie Arkos, Ken Camroux, Lance Henriksen, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Little Green Men, Margaret Martin, Margaret Scully, Marlon Brando Jr Elder, Mary Anne Lombardo, Maybe let this guy get his shit in suitcase before burning his house down... or better yet bring over some of those millennium stones so he can move his shit out, Megan Gallagher, Megan Leitch, Melvin Frohike, Michael Beebe, Michael Kritschgau, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, Mulder is completely cool with letting other people take the fall for his murders, Mulder leaves a trail of dead bodies wherever he goes, Mulderface, Nate, Oblong, Olds, Over the Edge, Pat Skipper, Paul Lombardo, Peter Watts, Poor Holly has had it rough, Quiet Willy packs a delicious picnic basket, R. G. Armstrong, Radio Singer, Ralph J. Alderman, Randy Stone, Redux, Redux Part 2, Richard Langly, Robert Wright, Sally Stevens, Samantha Mulder, Science Facts, Scott Blevins, Scott Ostelhoff, Senior Agent, Sheila Larken, Sheriff Black, Short Order Cook, Soylent Green is People, Steve Makaj, Stingray, Tammy Ginader, Tammy Memories, Teena Mulder spends her free time changing the dates on her childrens' gravestones, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Carpenters, The Dark Age, The Lone Gunmen, The Millennium Group, The most unlikely conspiracy ever, The Old Man, The Pretender, They didn't check to see if anything was in the secret conspiracy tube other than water?!?!?, This is clearly another Samantha Hybrid Clone, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, Those teeth!, Tom Braidwood, Vinnie the Voodoo dog, Vitagliano, Walter Skinner, Were his teeth always like that?, Who Cares?, Why did craft services have to have all those candy apples?, Why would Mulder believe that this could be a hoax?, William B. Davis, Willy Ross, X-Files, xfiles