Remember those grieving parents suspected of killing their children and leaving spooky ransom notes? Neither does Chris Carter. But luckily we get yet another resolution to the Samantha Mulder story that we’ve been told we’re supposed to care about in 7×11 – “Closure” Now with 500% more star rapturing? Harsh Ream 1×07 “42 wasted minutes of our lives” is…

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Where Star Rapture is never an acceptable solution, no matter how unnecessary the problem is.

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Listen to Episode 7×11 – 1:22:13

Tags: "Brave", #TeamSpender, Agent Schoniger, All the David E. Kelly shows, Amber-Lynn LaPierre, Anthony Heald, Any explanations for the walk-in ransom notes?, apparition, April Base, Arbutus Ray, Awaiting Terminator Times, bedtime prayer, Brad Cupples, Brad is heavily medicated throughout this ep, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, burning a photograph, Candlepower Contest, CGB Spender, Chester George Bonaparte Spender, child killer, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Closure, Cold Dick, continued from previous episode, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, death of mother, Ed Truelove, Evil Leapers, exhumation, felt tip pen, Fox Mulder, Get the fuck out of here Teena, Ghost Children, Gillian Anderson, Goodbye Iowa, Harold Pillar, Harold Piller's son, Harsh Realm, I bet Kim Manners could have gotten those birds to sing by yelling at them, introtox, introtox.com, John Bisom, Let it go, Lukewarm Skim Milk Riley, Megan Corletto, Mimi Paley, Mitch Pileggi, Mrs. Teena Mulder, Mulder is an asshole, narrated by character, News Anchor #2, Nicolas Stratton, Patience Cleveland, Pennywise the Clown, Planet of the Apes, Quantum Leap, Rad new intro themes, Randall Bosley, ransom note, Raptured into stars, Rebecca Toolan, reference to santa claus, reindeer, sacramento california, Samantha Mulder, Scandal!, Serial Killer, Silence of the Lambs, Sneaky Ghost Whispers, So many unimportant scenes, Stanley Anderson, Stop overprotecting children, Tammy Ginader, That Hair!!!!, The Forbidden Zone, The Pretender, This book is written by lunatics, This is garbage, This is shockingly unnecessary, Thumbs-Up Dog, title spoken by character, turned into stars, unmarked grave, Walter Skinner, What the fuck is a walk-in, WHY ARE THERE RANSOM NOTES?, Wild Predicaments, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, year 1979

It’s time for the season six finale as we discuss the theoretically exciting monologue laden kludge 6×22 “Biogenesis” in which magic alien space rocks attack bibles to convey information and Mulder gets fucked crazy. Millennium 3×19 “Seven and One” shows us Frank’s fear of drowning and a lot really random nonsense penned by Chris Carter.

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Where Neptune is always there with a refreshing Coca-Cola brand soda!

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Listen to Episode 6×22 – 1:33:21

Tags: A. J. Adamson, Acting Chops, Advice for future super-humans, Agent Diana Fowley, Agent Emma Hollis, Albert Hosteen, Alex Krycek, Andrew Francis, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Aura-Reading Guy, Backstreet Boys Birthday Party, Biogenesis, Brad Cupples, Brittany Tiplady, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, by 10 billion years do you mean 13.8?, CGB, Chris Carter Monologues, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire &Claire, Claire Laffar, Cloak your shit out, clone, Cree, Cree vs Kree, Dana Scully, Dana with an "i" literally fucks Mulder Crazy, Dana with an 'I', David Duchovny, David Duchovny has children? Ack Ack Ack!, Dean Norris, Del Boxer, Did no one else smell the dead body?, Donoterase part 2, Dr. Barnes, Dr. Solomon Merkmallen, Dr. Steven Sandoz, Everything is proof of everything... again, Father Yeager, Floyd 'Red Crow' Westerman, Flying space rock stabs Bible for vague narrative reasons more at eleven, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank is scared of drowning like Mulder is afraid of fire, Frank's Brother, Gillian Anderson, Graduation Day, Harsh Realm, Hider in the house, HIPAA, Howard Gordon, Howie Mandel's props have been used for evil... again, Ice Dragon, introtox, introtox.com, Jordan Black, Judith McDowell, Justine Miller, Klea Scott, Lance Henriksen, Laying in a salad, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Loki-mode Krycek, Lucy Butler, Magic Square, Maxine Miller, Michael Chinyamurindi, Michael Ensign, Mike Coleman, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Murray Rubinstein, Neptune, Nicholas Lea, Norman Armour, Old Fashioned Monkey-Shiners!, One of those things like a walrus penis, Planet of the Apes, Prometheus, psudoscientist, Samantha Mulder, Scully wins the season, Seven and One, Skinner's secret greenroom cubbyhole, Spender, spoiler alert for the next ep. Brew yourself a few pots of coffee before watching, Stephen E. Miller, Superhuman Life Coach, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, terrible heists, The Forbidden Zone, The Pretender, The worst nurse, Therapist, This changes absolutely nothing, This is a really dumb plan by these aliens, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, Thumbs-Up Dog, wait did she not see that giant ass UFO?, Walrus Penis, Walter Skinner, Why is any of this happening, Why is this paper having any effect on Mulder and no one else?, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, Young Frank Black

And now for the shocking conclusion to the two-part body-swap game changer that will truly rock X-Files to its very core… or not. Ian and Matt helps us try to make sense of 6×05 “Dreamland II”. In Millennium 3×02 “Exegesis” The groups shades of gray begin to evaporate as they try to turn the show into the X-Files.

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Where we reiterate no one is allowed use someone else’s penis without permission.

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Listen to Episode 6×05 – 1:55:51

Tags: A novelty notched coin that's all the clues I need, Acting Chops, Alternate Universe, Andrew Sikking, Assistant Director Alvin Kersh, Attendant, Body Swap, Brad Cupples, Bring back Detective Sandwich!, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Capt. Robert McDonough, Cesar Lopapa, ChaosAtom.com, Cheater!, Chris Ufland, Christine Fletcher, Christopher Stapleton, Claire Laffar, Claire's roomates are downloading Wikipedia, Copilot, Creepy Age Makeup, Dana Scully, Dara Hollingsworth, David Duchovny, David Duchovny demanded to take all that porn home, Dean Haglund, Dreamland II, Eddie Jackson, Fanfic, Fletch, Frank Black, Freeman Michaels, Fuck this ep, Gary Busey, Gary Shandling, General Wegman, Gillian Anderson, Government Perks include Porn at 8AM, Guard, Hider in the house, HoopleCast, HOW IS THE COIN UNAFFECTED?, Howard Grodin, Ian Swallow, If you have a photo with Newt Gingrich you are a bad person, IntroToTea, introtox, introtox.com, Is this supposed to be fun?, James Pickens Jr., Jeff Smoodge, Jesse Ventura, JoAnne Fletcher, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Mahon, Jordan Black, Jordan is a real creepo, Julia Vera, Kelly, Kersh, Kersh and Spender BFFs 4 Life, Kersh's Assistant, Klea Scott, Lance Henriksen, Laura Leigh Hughes, Lisa Joann Thompson, Little A’le Inn, Little Mulder Rages out over that spock ear, Lizard in a rock, Low flying plane attack, Majestic 12, Mandroid Army, Marburg Virus, Matt and Mel are not dead!, Matt Asendorf, Melvin Frohike, men in black, Michael Buchman Silver, Michael McKean, Microwaved Cabbage Patch Doll Face, Mike Rad, Millennium, Millennium Matt, Morley Cigarettes, Morris Fletcher, Mrs. Lana Chee, Mulder is a hoarder, Mulder put more effort into investigating fertilizer than he does Area 51, Nevada, Never Forget: It was Chris Carter's idea to kill Catherine, No one in this episode acts in a quasi-sensible way, Nora Dunn, Peter Watts, Planet of the Apes, Quantum Leap, Randy, Remote Viewing, Richard Langly, Sam, Scott Allan Campbell, Scully and Zira: Science Doctors!, Scully needs new/any friends, Send your donations now, shop.chaosatom.com, SNL, So UFO malfunctions can cause objects to phase into each other OR wacky body swaps. Makes sense. Sure. Why not, Soldier, Special Agent Emma Hollis, Special Tramp Dana Scully, Spock, Tammy finds the all-too natural idea of Appalachin militia weirdos questionable, Tammy Ginader, Tammy has no clue what happened in this episode, Tea talk, Team Kersh, Ted White, Terry Fletcher, Terry O'Quinn, The Black Mailbox, The Prisoner episode 'Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling' is a bodyswap episode that is 1000% more believable and it involves a very tall man driving a tiny little Lotus 7 From London to Austria, The stakes have never been lower, The version in Matt's head is so much better, They should bring Brad Dourif back, This does not add up, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, Tiger Woods Golf, Tom Braidwood, Tyler Binkley, Vegas Trip, Voicebox from Arrow, Wait. Worry. The Time Is Near, Waterbeds are gross, Web of Queer Podcast, What about the lizard in the rock?, When did she get fired, Why is this two episodes, X-Files, xfiles, Zelda from Terrahawks

Trigger Warning for mentions of Beavis and Butthead: Will joins us to discuss “Tunguska” Krycek is back and bruised (repeatedly) and everybody wants to bang it out. Seriously. Everybody. Millennium presents a really really good episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit with all the incest.

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Where Pendrell and Krycek are honored and never abused.

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Listen to Episode 4×08 – 1:45:38

Tags: "You better find out." P.S. get me this address stat little lady, 1908, A lot of things are happening. I'm not sure I fully understand why, A not crappy mythology episode?!?, A really good episode of Millennium that was not really an episode of Millennium... Not that we have any idea what an episode of Millennium looks like, Adorable Gillian Anderson SWAT outfits, Agent Pendrell, Alex Krycek, All the sexual tension. All of it, Angry old extra, Babylon 5, Bambi?, Baywatch Nights, Bevis and Butthead get far far too much discussion in this ep, boom boom, Brad Cupples, Brendan Beiser, Brent Stait, Campbell Lane, chicken wire, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Cobrakai Sexytime Hypnotist, cockroach stew, Committee Chairman, Dana Scully, David Bloom, David Duchovny, Did you bring the Stingray his money bitch? Stingray doesn't like it when bitches forget to pay, Diplomatic Courier, Do not leave Jordan with that neighbor!, Don't put Pendrell in danger, Down Below, Dr. Bambi Berenbaum, Dr. Bonita Sayre, Drunk Badge: P.D.U.I. --This fall on FOX, Everyone has lost their magic powers, Fox Mulder, Fuck the T.S.A., FUCK YOU ROBIN. YOU ARE DENOUNCED AND REJECTED FOR THIS CLIP! DENOUNCED AND REJECTED! #WORST, Ghost attack, Gillian Anderson, gulag, Handcuff shenanz, hazmat suit, Herda Hada Domestic Terrorists, Honolulu International Airport, Hordak, How much would it suck to be a plumber at the Russian alien pipework sprinkler gulag, I could have sworn this dude was in the House. Apparently he's a Senator... but they keep calling him Congressman. What is the deal?, I got a rock, I love this country... and you. Let's expose this truth... and each other, I want a flashback to Krycek and the Mullet Militia, Incest Fam, infected, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Jan Rubes, Jessica Schreier, John Neville, Kim Mannerisms, Kim Manners met Chris Carter at a lame-ass event for surfing magazine enthusiasts, Knocking people over for kicks, Krycek is human punching bag, Krycek: Proffessional Backstabbing Fool, Laurie Holden, Lee Serpa, Life Advice: Be happy investigating the alien life you have instead of investigating the alien life that might be in a Russian gulag, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Maybe invest in level 5 containment suits, Millennium SVU, Mitch Pileggi, Mythology, Nicholas Lea, Night Whispers, Old timey black oil, One generation from a full peacock scenario, People standing up are usually not dead, Planet of the Apes, prison, Random acts of unnecesary violence, Ratboy, razor wire, Representative Senator Congressman Sorenson, Rich White Girls, right-wing extremists, Robin Burdge, rock, Russia, Sexytime Getaway, Shhh be quiet. Act like a table, Shirtless Stingray, Siberia, Sideways Badge Cop, Stefan Arngrim, Stingray is now running a brothel, Stop calling this guy congressman he's a Senator... This will only piss him off and theoretically your career depends on this, Stress Man, Stupid Haircut?... yo kettle you best check in the mirror before that pot leaves you for dead in a, Swarthy Man, Tammy Ginader, That giant squashed down nose took up multiple televisions, The Cigarette Smoking Chump, The family tree with the least forks ever, The Prisoner, The Romney Dream, The Well-Manicured Man, They pretty much wrote this ep for Claire, Thor and Loki, Timothy Mayhew, Tunguska, Vassily Peskow, Vinnie the Voodoo dog, Walter Skinner, Well Manicured Horse Farm, Why is he asleep?, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, You called me a bad name, You can't be forced to let someone rummage through your belongings, You think they would be a little more paranoid about core samples possibly from the Antarctic