Ian and Michael David join us for 10×05 – “Babylon” an episode about the fears of old white dudes before Herr Trump rode in on his great white horse to save them. Basically Mulder and Scully try to talk to a dead terrorist. It’s absolute garbage.

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Where we’re building a wall around this episode and Chris Carter is going to pay for it.

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Listen to Episode 10×5 – 1:28:22

Tags: Agent Einstein, Agent Miller, Angry Woman, Artin John, ASA Podcasting, Babylon, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Clinton, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Eric Breker, FBI Agent Guard, Firestorm, Fox Mulder, Fuck Chris Carter, Garry Chalk, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Islamophobia, J. Alex Brinson, Janet Kidder, John Fitzgerald Byers, Johnny Ghorbani, Lauren Ambrose, Mad Dog, Man in Suit 1, Man in Suit 2, Marci T. House, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mo Said, Nina Nayebi, Noora, Nurse, Osama Look Alike, Racism, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robbie Amell, Sexism, Shaine Jones, Shiraz, Smoking Man, SP Agent Brem, Stephen Lobo, Tammy Ginader, This is garbage, Tom Braidwood, Trump, Walter Skinner, Web of Queer Podcast, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, Young Muslim

Jozie joins us for this jaunt into the Twilight Zone in Episode 9×11 – “Audrey Pauley” Reyes leans an important lesson about drinking and driving and Doggett goes bonkers in his quest to stop the most obvious villain ever. Also Dogs > Cats. #ScienceFact

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Where we always check for fake hospital monitors.

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Listen to Episode 9×11 – 1:31:46

Tags: Ana Maria Lagasca, Annabeth Gish, Audrey Pauley, Barreiro's Daughter, Barreiro's Son, Brad Cupples, Brain Death is death. Reyes's Parent from MEXICO CITY?!?!?!?, Cats are the worst, Claire Laffar, Creepy Doll House, Cynthena Sanders, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Del Zamora, Dog People, Dr. Jack Preijers, ER Nurse, Esther Mercado, Gillian Anderson, How does she deliver the flowers?, introtox, introtox.com, Jack Blessing, Joe Nieves, John Doe, John Doggett, Jozie, Michele Harrell, Mind Palace, Monica Reyes, Mr. Barreiro, Mrs. Barreiro, Mrs. Murdoch, Nurse, Nurse Whitney Edwards, Robert Patrick, Skype Nightmares Aplenty, Stan Shaw, Stephen Murdoch, Tammy Ginader, Tracey Ellis, Turning off monitors, Twilight Zone, Vernee Watson, X-Files, xfiles, You're a dog-person

Jon and Mike are honorary members of the Kersh Appreciation Society for Episode 8×07 – “Via Negativa”. Scully calls in sick to the episode and Manliest of Men John Swagger Dogget fights nightmares. We all enjoy Stingray’s hit children’s book “Don’t You Worry Little Dogget”

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Where cupcakes are for reasonable agents ONLY.

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Listen to Episode 8×07 – 1:21:38

Tags: Agent Angus Stedman, Agent James Leeds, American Hero Alvin Donald Kersh, Andre Bormanis, Anthony Tipet, Assistant Director Arnold, attempted suicide, awakened by a phone, axe murder, Brad Cupples, breaking down a door, Bruce Harwood, Chris Jacobs, Claire Laffar, Creeper, cult, Cupcakes, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Lynch, Dean Haglund, Dogget knows everybody, Don't you worry little Dogget, E.R. Doctor, episode title spoken by character, Fallout 4, Fallout Feed Podcast, falls church virginia, FBI Deputy Director Alvin Kersh, flashlight, Freddy Kruger, genocide, Gillian Anderson, Grant Heslov, Homeless Man, How could a car door ever be locked from the inside? The mind boggles, Humanzees, iboga, Illuminati, inspirational speech, introtox, introtox.com, James Pickens Jr., Jesse Ventura, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jokes I don't get, Keith Szarabajka, Kevin McClatchy, Lawrence LeJohn, looking at one's self in a mirror, manly man, Mary Ostrow, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mr. X, Mustache Man Come Back To Us!, nightmare, Nightmare on Lynch Street, Nurse, Nurse angry about paperwork, Rats, razor blades, Real Acting Chops, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Rufus, Skinner... are you O.K.?, Skyrim, sleeping on the job, Splatter v Spatter, stakeout, Stingray, table saw, Tambers, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, That chair is going to smell like Frohike for weeks now, The Dog House, The Lone Gunmen, Third Eye, This still makes no sense at all, Thumbs-Up Dog, title spoken by character, Tom Braidwood, Too many rats AKA rat(s), Via Negativa, video recording, Voice Acting, Walter Skinner, Wayne Alexander, Wayne King, Who fucked Dopey?, Willard, X-Files, xfiles

Nutty joins us for 7×05 – “Rush”. Another episode in which people squander their super powers when they could be cracking open ATM’s. There’s some super questionable technology and even more questionable accents. We kick off the harshest of minutes as we discuss the pilot of what might be the worst show ever “Harsh Realm”. Also “The Great Microphone Challenge 2015” continues!

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Where we are not whistlin’ dixie.

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Listen to Episode 7×05 – 2:10:37

Tags: 1999, 90210, A policeman AND a aero space engineer? This guy must be pretty super-smart, Advice for new super heroes, Ann Dowd, Bartender, Betty, Bill Dow, Carpet database, Chastity Raines, Choker Tattos, Christopher Wynne, Claire is too busy inadvertantly leading rebellions and winning in her sleep to get introductions in order, Claire's chalkboard is lacking in information, Clueless, Come On, D.B. Sweeney, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Wells, Deputy, Deputy Foster, don't put that gross melty shoe in your mouth Mulder, Don't trade a dog, Dr. Charles Burks, Eobard Thawne, FBI records, FBICD, Florence, Football player injuries, Fox Mulder, Fuck the troops, Fuck you Chris Carter, Fun Facts, Geanie, General Omar Santiago, Get Happy: The Partridge Family Story, Gillian Anderson, Gorilla Grodd, Hardest of Hardship Licenses, Harsh Realm, Harshest of Minutes, Hey Max... your teacher doesn't give a fuck about you, Hybrids, Inga Fossa, It is immoral to be a part of the US military, Jesse Ventura, Les Lannom, Lt. Colonel Gilovich, Lt. Thomas Hobbes, Max Harden, Max Martini, Meg, melted shoes, Michael David Simms, Mike Pinnochio, Mr. Babbitt, Mrs. Reed, Mulder has a chip on his shoulder about these darn kids, Nicki Aycox, nimlas.org, Nurse, Nutty Bites Podcast, Nutty Nuchtchas, Nutty's FBI Records, Parents just don't understand, PCP, Pennywise, Pilot, Plausible Deniability, poltergeist, Princes Daisy, Proffessor Zoom, PS your choker sucks too, Rachel Hayward, Rachel Winfree, Reverse Flash, Rodney Scott, Ron Selmour, Rush, Salt in the wound, Samantha Mathis, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Scott Bairstow, Scott Cooper, Sheriff Harden, Sophie Green, Speed Cheating, Speedforce, State Sponsored Murderers, Super Mario Bros., Supernatural, Tammy is going out of her way to speak away from the microphone, Terry O'Quinn, The best/worst nurse ever, The Database of all shapes of objects, The dog and Terry O'Quinn's mustache are the only redeemable thing in this show, The Flash, The Pretender, The US Military is the largest most powerful terrorist organization in the world, The worst show, There's probably a drawing of a spaceship in that cave, Thumbs-Up Dog, Tom Bower, Tony Reed, Waters, We all know that PCP is just a conspiracy by lazy cops right?, WHERE THE HELL IS TONY'S MOM SUPPOSED TO BE FROM?, Whistlin' Dixie, White Privilege, Your princess is in another castle

Matt and Mel join us to discuss 5×19 “Folie à Deux” a super bonkers ep about secret bug bosses and the humans that decide to try and assassinate them. We also learn about Teliko’s party planning and question the logistics of this office layout. Millennium 2×19 Anamnesis dives deep into wacky religious Dan Brown territory.

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Where we’re missing you already.

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Listen to Episode 5×19 – 1:55:01

Tags: "All of my friends growing up had horses"... WHAT?, Acting Chops, Agent Rice, Alex Hanes, Anamnesis, Angels, Bank, Becoming part 1, Ben Fisher, Bonkers, Brad Cupples, Brenda McDonald, Brendon Fletcher, Brian Markinson, Brittany Tiplady, Bug, Camdenton-shire-burg-apolis, Catherine Black, Catherine is THE BEST, Catherine Romney, ChaosAtom.com, Claire Laffar, Claire leads us in a moment of awkward silence, Clare McKenna, Creepiest use of Shirley Temple EVER, Creepy Crawlies, Cynthia Preston, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deadwood, Dial and smile, Dmitry Chepovetsky, Don't blow gross dead guy hair and skin at the camera, Dukes of Hazard, Emma Shetterly, Erin Maher, Florida = Monster Capital of the U.S., Folie à Deux, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Freddy vs Jason, Garry Davey, Gary Lambert, Genele Templeton, Gillian Anderson, Glitter, Gnostic Gospels, Greg Pincus, Gretchen Starns, Gwynyth Walsh, Hider in the house, Hiding in plain view, Hiding in the light, HoopleCast, How does this guy get to keep working for the same company, How many zombie pals is this guy hanging out with? Do they have a compound, If you see a bug monster maybe just get away from the bug monster, Insects, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, Jeezo, John Apicella, John Peter Kousakis, John Pyper-Ferguson, Jordan Black, Kay Reindl, Kim Manners, Kristen Cloke, Lakeland Florida, Lance Henriksen, Lara Means, Leslie Jones, Mark Backus, Mary Magdalene, Megan Gallagher, Millennium, Missing you already!, Mitch Pileggi, Mrs. Loach, Mulder is a better hostage than hostage taker, Nancy Aaronson, Nancy Kerr, No, Nurse, Owen Walstrom, Peter Watts, Pincus on the ceiling, Punchbowl, Questionable special effects, Ray McKenna, Reptoids, Rip out a bug leg and show it to the world!, Roger Cross, shop.chaosatom.com, Skinner gets fucked, Skinner will eventually turn into the TMNT character Ray Fillet, Stingray, Stop it. Just stop it, Supervisor, Tammy Ginader, Tammy might be a secret bug monster, telemarketer, Teliko's Party, Terry O'Quinn, The Black Mary, The super apostle, Those guys sliding down the ladder are THE BEST!, Vince Gilligan, VinylRight, Walter Skinner, What's with these johnny-come-lately FX?, When will Mulder learn to shut his mouth?, Where did the Millennium Group get Jeezo DNA?, Where's my $100, Why didn't we see them building the ramp for the swat team vehicle?, Why doesn't anyone hear Nancy scream?, X-Files, xfiles, Zelda, Zombies

Thrill! At the easiest escape from a minimum security gulag/day spa ever imagined! Gasp! As Mulder avoids all danger and conflict through a patchwork of plotholes and ridiculous convenience! Weep! For the brave American horse framed for a series of murders he did not commit! Des joins us for “Terma”. Four seasons in and the two-part mythology episodes still make no sense whatsoever.

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Where David Duchovny is the one who should be held in contempt.

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Listen to Episode 4×09 – 2:05:47

Tags: 1x09 Wide Open, A really questionable accent, Agent Emma Hollis, Alex Krycek, Amputation, Angie, Arm chopping with a super dull knife, Arntzen, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Auntie Janet, Baywatch Nights, Bill Smitrovich, Black Cancer, Brenda McDonald, Brent Stait, Bringing Mulder to court is like inviting your racist uncle to dinner, Brittany Tiplady, Campbell Lane, Catherine Black, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire is fighting a hurricane, Committee Chairman, Convenience kills more people in this show than that horse was framed for, Creeper in a closet, Crossing Guard Monster, David Duchovny, Desiree Bingham, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Det. Bob KimmyGibblerHouse Stephen E. Miller, Detective Sandwich, Doctor Mindbender, Doctor Who, Dr. Bonita Charne-Sayre, Dr. Kingsley Looker, Dr. Sacks, Dumbest thing Mulder has ever said., Eileen Pedde, Frank Black, Fritz Weaver, Fuck Netflix, George, Gillian Anderson, Grill that orphan, Hey asshole you're a cop you have to call the paramedics you don't get to kill people, Horse patsy, How did a horse get into this lab?, How did Jordan, I dare you to make sense of this plot, I would rather eat black oil than take apple slices from an old man at a bus stop, Illegally download these eps, Jan Rubes, Jessica Schreier, John Neville, Jordan Black, Klea Scott, Lamest Escape Ever, Lance Henriksen, Leave that Horse alone!, Lt. Bob 'Bletch' Bletcher, Malcolm Stewart, Maybe you should ask what the dress code, Megan Gallagher, Mitch Pileggi, Mullet Militia, Nicholas Lea, No time for sexual tension, Nonsensical Julius Caesar Quotes, Nurse, Pamela MacDonald, Pennywise, Peter Watts, Plastic Hand, Prisoner, Robin Mossley, Russia -->D.C.-->FL-->NY-->Canada-->D.C., Scully's Conjugal Visit from the Stingray, Senator Albert Sorenson, Shitiest Plan Ever, Skinner is so embarrassed, So wait Alexander Krycek isn't his actual Russian Name? Bonkers, So why does the oil have to be destroyed in an explosion at an oil refinery?, Space Spores, Special Agent Dana Scully, Special Agent Fox Mulder, Stefan Arngrim, Stephen J. Lang, STOP CALLING SENATORS CONGRESSMEN, Talk to the kid, Terma, Terry Edward Mayhew, Terry O'Quinn, The only truck in Russia, The Well-Manicured Man, This black oil doesn't seem so hard to destroy anymore, This episode deserves a chart or 50 to be made, This is sooo dumb, Use the other arm dummies, Various Viruses, Vassily Peskow, Vinnie the Vodoo Dog, Why exactly should this Senate Select Committee be held in contempt of Congress? Mulder hides in a pile of leaves, Why not just use the other arm?, Why the fuck did he purposefully drive off a cliff?, Why the hell did Krycek tip off Mulder, Why would you want to commit suicide less after two weeks in a Russian gulag, William B. Davis, You need the subtitles for this ep, You'd think if people actually gave a fuck about the elderly they would bother to see them as individuals worth of remembering

Ah ah Ah ah… Mike joins us as we marvel at Død Kalm and the most ridiculous makeup ever.
This is an episode about bad acting choices and even worse beverage choices. It’s just like the Philadelphia Experiment except people are turning into old salt pillars with young hair. What the hell is happening?

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Where the drinks are not a sophie’s choice of awful and everyone has a brand new smile.

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Listen to Episode 2×19 – 1:40:58

Tags: A bloody rock god, Acting Chops, Ah ah Ah ah, Baby Jar vs Jar Baby, Belieber, Best Song Ever?, Brad Cupples, Brand New Smile, Can't get enough of those aliens, Captain Barclay, Captain Rudy Ransom, Caravans, Carnivale, Cheese pizza face make-up technology, Claire Laffar, Claire Riley, Colin Hanks, Dana Scully, Dark Angel, David Cubitt, David Duchovny, Dead Calm, Dmitry Chepovetsky, Dr. Lascos, Død Kalm, Edward Woodward, Emilie de Ravin, Fox Mulder, Free radicals, from deep inside a smile was calling me and now there's no turning back, Gillian Anderson, Hack Scudder, Hair, Hair doesn't age. Pipes skin engines and fingernails do, Hasselhoff style lead pipe antics, Heavy salt... really?, Henry Trondheim, Howard Gordon, Human -> Salt -> Rats: The Circle of Life, Humming a tune... Soft mist falling from my eyes, If good water cures bad water solve for ocean, If she's testing blood salinity by tasting blood... what is she doing with their urine, If your choices are drink toilet water or die of old age... Just die, introtox, introtox.com, Ionesco, Jamaican Webhost would have been more sensible, John Savage, Katherine Heigl, Lazy Ass Horizontal Pillars, Lt. Richard Harper, Midnight Rides, Mr. Freeze, Nancy Newman, Nobody wants to drink this shit, Norway, Norway Facts with Ina, Nurse, Olafsson, Old country Doc Scully, Rat blood... Antifreeze lemon sardine cocktail... Toilet Water, rats wearing a trench coat, Robert Metcalfe, Robin Burdge, Roswell, Sabretooth, Scandinavian children love stories about the end of the world and everything dying, Scully is in a constant state of shock, Shaky Acting Chops, Silvery Moons, Stephen Dimopoulos, Tammy Ginader, terrible makeup, The bar has more acting chops than DD or John Savage, The Equalizer, The Philadelphia Experiment, The Wicker Man, There is no time warp, There was a time when stars kept falling all the nights sky was black, This engine is completely unrecognizable... hyperbole much?, This is not a time anomaly, This is not a time bend, Turning into a pile of salt, Urinal Lemons, Vikings, Vladimir Kulich, Ways to turn into salt 1. Look in a direction that a magical sky god arbitrarily disaproves of 2. Drink rock god meteor water, Whale pirates, why are the engines turning into salt?, WHY DID YOU MISS THAT SHIT TOGETHER? WHY?, Wolves at the door, Worst. Secret. Ever., X-Files, xfiles, You can't just throw away the body of a murder victim