It’s time for the season six finale as we discuss the theoretically exciting monologue laden kludge 6×22 “Biogenesis” in which magic alien space rocks attack bibles to convey information and Mulder gets fucked crazy. Millennium 3×19 “Seven and One” shows us Frank’s fear of drowning and a lot really random nonsense penned by Chris Carter.

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Where Neptune is always there with a refreshing Coca-Cola brand soda!

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Listen to Episode 6×22 – 1:33:21

Tags: A. J. Adamson, Acting Chops, Advice for future super-humans, Agent Diana Fowley, Agent Emma Hollis, Albert Hosteen, Alex Krycek, Andrew Francis, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Aura-Reading Guy, Backstreet Boys Birthday Party, Biogenesis, Brad Cupples, Brittany Tiplady, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, by 10 billion years do you mean 13.8?, CGB, Chris Carter Monologues, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire &Claire, Claire Laffar, Cloak your shit out, clone, Cree, Cree vs Kree, Dana Scully, Dana with an "i" literally fucks Mulder Crazy, Dana with an 'I', David Duchovny, David Duchovny has children? Ack Ack Ack!, Dean Norris, Del Boxer, Did no one else smell the dead body?, Donoterase part 2, Dr. Barnes, Dr. Solomon Merkmallen, Dr. Steven Sandoz, Everything is proof of everything... again, Father Yeager, Floyd 'Red Crow' Westerman, Flying space rock stabs Bible for vague narrative reasons more at eleven, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank is scared of drowning like Mulder is afraid of fire, Frank's Brother, Gillian Anderson, Graduation Day, Harsh Realm, Hider in the house, HIPAA, Howard Gordon, Howie Mandel's props have been used for evil... again, Ice Dragon, introtox, introtox.com, Jordan Black, Judith McDowell, Justine Miller, Klea Scott, Lance Henriksen, Laying in a salad, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Loki-mode Krycek, Lucy Butler, Magic Square, Maxine Miller, Michael Chinyamurindi, Michael Ensign, Mike Coleman, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Murray Rubinstein, Neptune, Nicholas Lea, Norman Armour, Old Fashioned Monkey-Shiners!, One of those things like a walrus penis, Planet of the Apes, Prometheus, psudoscientist, Samantha Mulder, Scully wins the season, Seven and One, Skinner's secret greenroom cubbyhole, Spender, spoiler alert for the next ep. Brew yourself a few pots of coffee before watching, Stephen E. Miller, Superhuman Life Coach, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, terrible heists, The Forbidden Zone, The Pretender, The worst nurse, Therapist, This changes absolutely nothing, This is a really dumb plan by these aliens, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, Thumbs-Up Dog, wait did she not see that giant ass UFO?, Walrus Penis, Walter Skinner, Why is any of this happening, Why is this paper having any effect on Mulder and no one else?, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, Young Frank Black

We’re here in season five! If you love long rambling monologues and the high stakes drama of walking down hallways and attempting to open doors this is the episode for you. Moira endures this massive snooze fest with us and brings a grip of (hopefully true) fun facts. We’re back to Millennium for 2×01 “The Beginning and the End” and it’s amazing. Brad and Tammy peel back the veils of dvd bonus features to explain the magical basis for the real life Millennium Group.

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Where we will never inject you with an alien virus paired with a probe to give you cancer.

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Listen to Episode 5×01 – 1:56:35

Tags: A guy so super smart that he's able to pretend to be qualified for different jobs, Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder, Alan Robertson, Alien Corpses that don't rot, All lies don't lead to the truth, All Lies Lead To The Truth, All the sexual tension, All the speeches, Allan Zinyk, At least on Millennium you don't get to murder people without consequences, Bold Venture, Boring, Brad Cupples, Brian Roedecker, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cancer, Cancer Causing Alien Virus, Card Catolg of Doom, Catherine Black, Charles Cioffi, Chasing the Dragon: A Conversation with the Academy Group, Chi-Mo, Chris Carter, Chris Carter makes a catchphrase that doesn't make sense, Chris Carter Monologues, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Consequences!, Creepo Credit Obsessed Psychos, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dicky Bird Perkins, Do not lick that alien, Don S. Williams, Doug Hutchinson, Doug Hutchison, Dragon, Dramaticly Tense Card Scanning Scenes, Drew Reichelt, Elderly Man, Finley, First Elder, Flashbacks, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Fun Facts, George, Gethsemane, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Hasselhoff, Her whole life is standing on a box, Hey proffessional spy? Maybe don't print those phone records, Hider in the house, Hoax, Holly, How did he not notice that camera the last time he ripped his apartment apart looking for bugs, Hybrids, I do not trust the Lone Gunmen's dirty gross lab skills, I will not have the good name of Ikea spoken against!, I wonder when Teena will find out that her son is dead/alive, Ice core, Imagine an unwatchable Aaron Sorkin monolgue that was so boring it required random stock footage to be watchable, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, John Finn, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jordan Black, Judith Maxie, Julie Arkos, Just snatch up an alien finger, Ken Camroux, Lance Henriksen, Last Season on X-Files, Level 4 Clearance, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Lie to Me, Literal Overkill, Lucy Lawless's Acting Coach, Marlon Brando Jr Elder, Megan Gallagher, Melvin Frohike, Michael Kritschgau, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, Mitchell Kosterman, Moira Browne, Moira's Medical Minute, Norman Armour, Peter Watts, Phony Baloney Bureau of Investigations, Polaroid Man, Poor Holly has had it rough, R.W. Goodwin, Red Doors, Red Dragon, Redux, Richard Langly, Science Facts, Scott Blevins, Scott Free, Scott Ostelhoff, Senior Agent, Sheriff, Skinner doesn't give a fuck, Someone in this room is responsible for MURDER!, Soylent Green is People, Spreadsheets need to be updated, Standing on a box, Steve Makaj, Stingray, Stock Footage, Suited Man, Take more of those vials you dummy, Tammy Ginader, Tammy Memories, Tea Leoni, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Academy Group: 100% majick wielding witches and sorcerers, The Department of Defense, The Lone Gunmen, The Millennium Group, The most ridiculous card scanner, The most terrifying way to be kidnapped ever, The most unlikely conspiracy ever, The Pretender, The Time is Near, There's an 80% chance that David Lynch is in charge of the room of pregnant women, This FBI inquiry is twenty minutes away from turning into "Eyes Wide Shut", THIS MAKES NO SENSE, Thomas J. Wright, Tom Braidwood, Trying to Open Doors: The Show, Virus, Voice over, Walter Skinner, Who Cares?, Why are you sitting in my bedroom in the middle of the night... in the dark?, Why would Mulder believe that this could be a hoax?, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles

Moira is here to chill with us for 4×19 “Synchrony” in which a grumpy old time traveler goes on a surprisingly spry killing spree whilst trying to avoid bursting into flames. The shocking episode Millennium 1×18 “Lamentation” keeps us on the edge of our seats and we give a sigh of relief that perennial everyman Detective Sandwich/KimmyGibblerHaus is ok.

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Where we’re too cool 4 time travel school.

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Listen to Episode 4×19 – 1:42:06

Tags: Agent Cuevas, Agent Pierce, Alex Diakun, Alison Matthews, All the Mulder's and Scully's in Millennium, an Elderly Man, Andrew Airlie, Angel, Aureleo Di Nunzio, Back to the Future rules of time travel temperature, Bill Smitrovich, Blechly Mountain home of the Black Dragons, Bletch, Brad Cupples, Brent Chapman, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Chaos theory Shmaos theory... I'm going to try and finish this script in time to take a nap at 2:30pm --Howard Gordon, Chicken Broth, Chris Carter, Chuck Lukerman, Claire is not a chump. A loser? Yes. But NOT a Chump, Claire Laffar, Coroner, CryoBiology, Dana Scully, Darin Morgan's BFF, David Duchovny, David Greenwalt, David MacKay, Demolition Man, Desk Clerk, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective, Detective KimmyGibblerHouse, Detective Sandwich, Did Catherine miss the stranger putting a kidney in the fridge?, Did he have plastic surgery before travelling back in time?, Doctor, Don't go to hotels with unidentified strangers, Dr. David Hasselhoff listening to dust, Dr. Ephraim Fabricant, Dr. Willmore, Dr. Yonechi, Federal Marshall, Fishercast, Fox Mulder, Freezing, Fuck yall lazy chumps, Gillian Anderson, Grow Up. Shut Up. Get a better society going. Fuck off. #VoteCupples #PartyPlatform, Hiro Kanagawa, Howard Gordon, I Fall To Pieces, I just want to read this thesis. WHAT IS THIS NEW INTERPRETATION OF THE TWIN'S PARADOX? WHAT IS THERE TO BE INTERPRETED?, I want to watch Frank Blank and Fox Mulder in a Profiler-off and pie eating contest at the FBI picnic, If Jason had lived he would have eventually developed upper body strength, introtox, introtox.com, It's not that hard to write time travel stories if you put forth a little bit of effort... or ya know... any effort, It's shocking how little effort they put into research, James Charleston, Jane Perry, Jason Nichols, Jed Rees, Jon and Dr. Yonechi sitting in a tree..., Jonathan Walker, Jordan Black, Joseph Puqua, Kidney snatching, Kurt Max Runte, lamentation, Larold, Least effective way to keep a guy from getting hit by a bus ever, Lisa Ianelli, Lt. Bob 'Bletch' Bletcher, Lucas Menard, Lucy Butler, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Maybe save your kid instead of hanging out in the basement, Megan Gallagher, Michael David Simms, Michael Fairman, Millennium, Mulder's Geanie is putting in overtime x100 this week, Next Level Geritol, Nino Caratozzolo, Nobody else seems to be interested in stopping the creation of time travel. Jason is just a prick, Nooooooo not Bletch, Norman Armour, Note that Lisa doesn't come back in time to stop her self, Outbreak, Pathologist, Patricia Idlette, Peter Watts, Pleat-watch, Possibly the best thing Chris Carter has/will ever write, Robin Burdge, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Security Cop, Six Feet Under, Smallville, So did your fear of fire come back all of a sudden or is there a reason you aren't using that fire extinguisher?, So they freeze him to absolute zero then shoot him into a wormhole? What?, Special Agent Tom Babich, Spontaneous Human Combustion, Stephen J. Lang, Stop trying to spoil Millennium Claire!, Super Creepy Millennium, Susan Lee Hoffman, Synchrony, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terry Arrowsmith, Terry O'Quinn, The Servant, They don't understand what freezing means, This freeze thing should make a proper thwppp sound, This is a hugely questionable leap in logic, This is dumb, Those sure do look like ice crystals, Throat boner, Time Travel, Uniformed Cop, Who the fuck is this asshole to decide if the world is a better or worse place with/without time travel, Winrich Kolbe, Wormhole, X-Files, xfiles

Steph helps us wade through the muck and mire as we discuss ‘Sanguinarium.’ If you like incomprehensible plotting and a complete disregard for the basics of logic this ep has your name written all over it! (Most likely in crime scene blood or spelled out in random chunks of gore)
And, unfortunately, Millennium finally stumbles.

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Where you can get all the news about our brand-new-decade-old podcasting facility.

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Listen to Episode 4×06 – 1:59:47

Tags: A brand new ten year old facility, A woman would not have had her face melted off if Mulder and Scully were willing to pay for roaming minutes, A. Find the Idea. B. Is it being done well?, acid in face, allotriophagy, And thus we learn the tragic downside of fellating characters from Hellraiser, Andrew Airlie, Arlene Mazerolle, belladonna, Ben Horne, cheaper than malpractice insurance, Chicago, Chris Carter, City of Angels Medical Center, Claire is super tasty leech food, Creeper Smile Frank, Creepiest looking actor, Curse of the Mirrored Box, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Duchovny is playing to the blue hairs in the 4th balcony, Die Hand die nosejob, Don't judge me for my unicorn dreams, Dr. Eric Ilaqua, Dr. Harrison Lloyd, Dr. Hartman, Dr. Jack Franklyn, Dr. Mitchell Kaplan, Dr. Sally Stanford, Dr. Theresa Shannon, ER, Face/Off, Faith is a useless and revolting concept, Fox Mulder, Fuck you Chris Carter, Gillian Anderson, Goofy Music, Gore, Gregory Thirloway, Hacky shitty cliches in a battle for the lowest common denominator in this weeks ep of Millennium, Hiding in a bloodbath is seemingly not the most effective way to hide, How did this get covered up 10yrs ago?, If they spent 20% as much time on the script as they did on the set they might have something, John Juliani, Kingdom Come, laser surgery, leeches, Let's build an underground civilization together, liposuction, Logic?, Los Angeles, magic, Magic Face Computer, Magic Genie x1000, Marie Stillin, Martin Evans, Maybe cancel your appointment after the second or third HORRIFIC ACCIDENT, mediocre ideas executed poorly, Millennium, Millennium is suposed to make things better after a garbage X-Files Ep. It's not supposed to make things worse, Mitch Pileggi, Mulder is a dick, My Strange Addiction, Nature will murder you, None of this makes any sense, Norman Armour, Nurse Rebecca Waite, O-Lan Jones, Paul Raskin, phenol, pica, pin phenol, Plastic surgery, Possession, Richard Beymer, Sanguinarium, Shannon Tweed, silicone. collagen. and a well-placed scalpel, sleeping pill, So did he not have a pentagram with the victims names in his home 10yrs ago?, Steph Smith, stop playing in crime scene blood, Storm of the Century, Tammy wore out the 'w' on her laptop, Terrible Parents, The Bonnie Wilder of X-Files, The worst ep of Millennium, There is no way to navigate point A to point B to point potato, This ep needs a Frank Briggs, This was the second podcast I recorded before noon on Saturday I deserve a goddamn medal or at least a bucket of coffee, Those teeth!, vanitas vanitatum, VistaprintInstagram, Warlock, Wash your hands Frank Black. you gross monster, What is happening at any given moment in the plot of this ep?, What is worse letters from angry Christians or letters from angry Wiccans? Fuck both of these groups of dummies, What's that? Middle Ages? whaaaat? #ActingChops, Who called Mulder and Scully in on this?, Why did he come back?, Why is Scully listening to Mulder on the subject of MEDICAL TREATMENT?, Why is Shannon's name on the pentagram, Wicaan World, Winnetka, Witch's Berry, witchcraft, Witches, ye Olde witchbook