Episode 9×19 – The Truth

September 22nd, 2016

Michael David and Pat join us for 9×19 “The Truth’ as we close out the original run of this show the only way Chris Carter could, with a boring clip show that pretends to put the pieces together but fails to do a damn thing. We learn that Mulder has been bunking with everyone’s favorite chess champ from the Philippines whilst Spender was saving the entire goddamn world.

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Where we can’t believe this was on for 9 years.

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Listen to Episode 9×19 – 2:32:32

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Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head chopping good time in 8×20 “Essence” wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts… also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1×12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) “The Cap’n Toby Show” we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

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Where all you have to do is belieb.

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Listen to Episode 8×20 – 1:16:24

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Episode 8×15 – Deadalive

March 30th, 2016

Ian joins us for the handiwork of Chris Carter episode 8×15 – “Deadalive”. Mulder’s return from death, autopsy, embalming, and three months in the ground is questionable as Scully 11 month pregnancy. On the plus side Little Doggett and Slycek face off. The Lone Gunmen 1×07 “Planet of the Frohikes” features a talking chimpanzee named Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, and therefore is the best episode of Lone Gunmen ever.

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Where we call sentient intelligent creatures by the name they choose.

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Listen to Episode 8×15 – 1:31:07

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Episode 7×22 – Requiem

December 16th, 2015

Jonathon and Paul join us for a farewell to season seven as we Riverdance our way through Episode 7×22 – “Requiem” Scully has a Stingray baby on board and we meet our new favorite character Chesty Short – A True Blue American Hero.

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Where we all welcome the upcomming Terminator Times.

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Listen to Episode 7×22 – 1:53:08

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Amanda joins us for 7×02 – The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati – Back in Action: The Reckoning 3D: This Time, it’s Personal. Apparently nothing that happened in the last episode mattered at all. Lots of rando side characters get killed off screen and the word “hybrid” continues to befuddle the writers. In the penultimate episode of Millennium 3×21 “Via Dolorosa” we see the trees again and a super creep that is probably not finale worthy.

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Where we’re always thinking.

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Listen to Episode 7×02 – 1:47:59

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It’s time for the season six finale as we discuss the theoretically exciting monologue laden kludge 6×22 “Biogenesis” in which magic alien space rocks attack bibles to convey information and Mulder gets fucked crazy. Millennium 3×19 “Seven and One” shows us Frank’s fear of drowning and a lot really random nonsense penned by Chris Carter.

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Where Neptune is always there with a refreshing Coca-Cola brand soda!

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Listen to Episode 6×22 – 1:33:21

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Gabby and Jonathon join us as we gather to pay our respects to an American Hero, Champion of the Taxpayer, and National Treasure: Jeffrey Spender and discuss 6×12 “One Son”. The mythology continues to make no sense at all and Mulder kills another citizen for no reason. On Millennium 3×09 “Omerta” it’s time for a kooky Christmas with Wood Nymphs.

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Where we are all in mourning.

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Listen to Episode 6×12 – 2:17:51

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Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

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Episode 6×09 – SR 819

April 15th, 2015

Watch out for the terror-birds and typewriters! Alirio and Alex join us as we marvel at the excitement of violations to bio-medical export laws! The stingray has been poisoned by not-so-nano-robots and it’s a race against the clock to solve the convoluted mystery… or not? Meanwhile Millennium 3×06 “Skull and Bones” takes another step towards becoming the X-Files as the shades of gray evaporate even further.

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Where we all are thankful for Security Officer Lewis.

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Listen to Episode 6×09 – 2:01:50

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Episode 5×20 – The End

February 4th, 2015

Dan and Mike join us for the season five finale 5×20 “The End” in which a chess-playing telepath from the Philippines is revealed to be the key to ALL of the X-Files. How is this possible? No Clue. I’m SURE we’ll find out in the movie. Check n’ Spender are back in the mix and being completely wasted. Millennium 2×20 “A Room With No View” is horrifically terrifying and amazing.

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Where we know Check n’ Spender deserve better.

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Listen to Episode 5×20 – 1:41:51

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