Heidi joins us for episode 8×16 – “Three Words” in which Zombie Mulder is barely back from the dead and already being a dick. Thanks to Knwlle Rrgrgrorer, Little Doggett learns he’s never been closer to the truth. The Lone Gunmen 1×08 “Maximum Byers” misses all marks that it aims at and then ends with a state sponsored murder.

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Where everyone is free to admit that the mythology is inexplicable nonsense.

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Listen to Episode 8×16 – 2:02:53

Tags: 2001, Absolom, Adam Baldwin, Alvin Donald Kersh, Black Oil, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, CastleCast, CastleRant, Census Data, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Clones, Convoluted schemes, Cupcakes, Dana Scully, data disk, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dr. Lim, Drones, Dwight Hicks, Elvis, FBI Deputy Director Alvin Kersh, FeelTheBern, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, Fox Mulder, freight train, Fuck Mulder, Gary Bristow, Gillian Anderson, Greys, Hillary Clinton is the worst, Howard Salt, Intercom Guard, introtox, introtox.com, James Pickens Jr., Jeremiah Smith, Jimmy Bond, Joe Basile, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jonathan Murad, Knowle Rohrer, Knowwll Rrrhwrerrr, Knowwwllw Rurrrhrwerrerr, Knwll Rwhewererrrohrer, Lead Guard, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mulder is a dick, Mythology, Nelson Mashita, number in title, Old Fashioned Cop, prison, Prison Armed Guard, Prison Trustee, Ric Sarabia Ric Sarabia, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Rise in your Levis, Robert Patrick, Seriously though was he named by a Welsh stroke victim?, Shapeshifting Aliens, shot in the head, Stephen Snedden, Tammy Ginader, The Lone Gunmen, the white house, Three Words, title spoken by character, Tom Braidwood, Transcript Writers, umm just take 2 steps and you're free, Walter Skinner, What does that Austin Powers joke mean?, What is the point of this conspiracy?, Why are the Lone Gunmen doing this? Scooby Doo had to go into arbitration with the WGA to get credit for creating the character of Knowle Rohrer, Why not make a clean break with your mythology?, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zombie, Zuleikha Robinson

We’re back for Episode 8×13 – “Per Manum” in which someone finally remembers that Scully is pregnant. There are a grip of flashbacks to when Gillian Anderson had good hair and a lame partner. Also we meet everyone’s favorite new character Knowl Rohrrererrghragher. The Lone Gunmen 1×05 “Three Men and a Smoking Diaper” is as boring as it is sexist.

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Where no one can read a sonogram.

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Listen to Episode 8×13 – 1:30:37

Tags: Adam Baldwin, Agent Robin Kersh, Alexandra Margulies, baby, Baby William Jefferson, birth in a car, Brad Cupples, Brenda Sally, Bruce Harwood, Bryan Spicer, Busfield, caesarean section, Candus Churchill, Chris Carter, Christopher Rich, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Purdham, Dean Haglund, Delivery Nurse, Diana Castle, Dr. James Parenti, Dr. Lev, Dr. Miryum, Duffy Haskell, Elizabeth Cheap, Emily, Enid-Raye Adams, Evil table, fetus, Field Reporter, fingerprints, Fox Mulder, giant hair, Gillian Anderson, giving birth to non human baby, Hair, induced labor, intravenous, introtox, introtox.com, Jay Acovone, Jefferson, Jennifer Griffin, Jimmy Bond, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Kath McCready, Knowle Rohrer, Lindsay Bourne, locking a door, Madisyn LaCouvee, manly man, Martha Ashley, Megan Follows, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Mitchell Kosterman, Morgan LaCouvee, Mustachioed Officer, mutation, Mythology, Not Mustache Man, ovary, Patricia Drake, Per Manum, pregnant, Producer, Randy Becker, Receptionist, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Patrick, Sean Allan, Second Associate, Second Nurse, Singer #1, Stephen Snedden, Steven Anderson, sweaty face, syringe, Tammy Ginader, That accent... yikes, The Lone Gunmen, This plot makes no sense, Three Men and a Smoking Diaper, Tom Braidwood, Tonja Kahlens, ultrasound imaging, unable to conceive, Victoria Gallegos, Vince Gilligan, Walter Skinner, woman in labor, X-Files, xfiles, Yves Adele Harlow, Zuleikha Robinson

We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it’s inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.

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Where Mustache Man is canon.

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Listen to Special Episode – 0:52:06

Tags: 2016, 2Shy, Alien Bounty Hunter, Aliens, Amani, Bees, Big Coat, Brad Cupples, Cancer, Chester Bonaparte, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, clone, Conquistador Tree-People, David Duchovny, Donnie Pfaster, Flukie the Flukeman, Frank Briggs, George, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, Kersh, Melissa Scully, Monsters, Mustache Man, Mythology, Oblong, Revival, Spender, Tammy Ginader, Teena Mulder, Teliko, The Lone Gunmen, The X-Files 2016, Thumbs-Up Dog, Tooms, UFO, X-Files, xfiles

Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

Tags: "I'm ready to J-O-B just not on some jagoff shoeshine tip", "Yo Homestyle cough up the rock", A case of the yips, Agent Diana Fowley, Agent Emma Hollis, Al Ruscio, Alex Krycek, Aliens, Alirio Ferreira, Angie WATCH YOUR BACK. #RougeCop #SeeSomethingSaySomething, Arson, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bad Girls, Basketball, Basketball Player, Basketball Sweaters, Brad Cupples, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bullfrog Andy is like a less interesting Boss Hogg, Canada, Candy-Apple, Candygram, Cassandra is the worst, Cassandra Spender, CastleCast, Check n' Spender, Chester George Barnabus Spender, China, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Conspiracy, Damon P. Saleem, David Duchovny, Department of Justice, Don S. Williams, Don't taste white powder found in envelopes, Dr. Eugene Openshaw, Et tu Stingray?, Exposition George, FBI Agent, Fifth Elder, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, First Elder, Flukie - Gold Medal Olympian, Fourth Elder, Frank Black Klea Scott, Frank Ertl, Frank Spotnitz, Frank turns into a dragon to escape an exploding building, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greg Evigan, Heidi Jenkins, Heroin, Hey Hollis? why are you cloaking out?, Hey transcript writers... are you OK?, Hollis is the worst, How did you get your clothes?, How is Diana still awake?, Human Essence, Humanzees, I'm pretty sure Chris Carter's version of "The Godfather" is closer to Corky Romano, In what way do they look like monsters?, introtox, introtox.com, Jeff Spender: American Hero and Champion of the Taxpayer, Jeffrey Spender, Kersh, Kill Switch, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, LEAVE SPENDER ALONE, Milk, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Monsters, Mr. Ho, Mulder and Scully might have gotten fired... AGAIN, Mulder is NOT a special snowflake, My Two Dads, Mythology, Nicholas Lea, Nick Tate, Nopenheimer, Nopenshaw, Paul Reiser, Paul Reiser and the other guy, Peter Outerbridge, Pizza Guy, Pool, PotentialCast, Powerpoint, Previously on, Racism, Relax your jaw and your pelvis, Samaria Graham, Scully's Short Skirt, Second Elder, Sexy Lego Robot Guard, So... you don't have evidence then..., Soooo apparently Krycek and Spender are immune to the extremely toxic alien blood, Special Agent Barry Baldwin Stephen E. Miller, Spender > Luke Skywalker, Stephen Chang, Stop being a dick to Spender, Stop smoking IN THE HOSPITAL, Take him to his damn mother already, Tammy Ginader, Tamra Caffrey, That is not what hybrid means, The cliffhanger of this episode rests on if you think Mulder might murder an innocent defenseless old woman, The Iron Sheik, The Pretender, The Proffessor SAT DOWN!, The Truth Out There, The X-Files, They had cleaned up the mythology and then they jump full force into all the awful garbage mythology, This doesn't make sense at all, This episode is brought you by hotmail: for when you don't really need your mail, Those faces rip off very easily, Trust no one, Two Fathers, Valerie Pettiford, Veronica Cartwright, Who are the two fathers?, Why aren't we working with the Rebels?, Why is everybody treating Spender like crap?, Why is Mulder hiding?, Why would shapeshifters need to mutilate their orifices, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, You should not use the same nickname for your girlfriend as your sister. That is weird.

It’s 4×18 “Max” Scully kills Pendrell and Mulder hops on a plane with a radioactive superstructure and a man that should really invest in a new pair of pants. The creepiest Millennium opening ever leads to a less than stellar ending in 1×17 “Walkabout”.

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Where we know Sean Pendrell’s fucking name, you heartless murderer.

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Listen to Episode 4×18 – 1:28:41

Tags: Airport Security Officer, Aliens, Amnesia, an Airport Security Officer, an MP, Armando Gonzales, Bill Smitrovich, Brad Cupples, Braden Kayce, Brendan Beiser, Brittany Tiplady, Canada has got their bar seating figured out. Stools can eat a dick, Catherine Black, Chilton Crane, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Claire Laffar, Cobra Commander, Creepy Mask Face Herda Hada Trailer Park Man, Cute Face Ugly Body, Dafid Palffy, Dark Man, Dave Hannay, David Duchovny, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective KimmyGibblerHouse, Detective Sandwich, Dog Riding A Dolphin? Sign me up!, Dr. Daniel 'Danny' Miller Gregory Itzin, Evoking an emotional response does not necessarily equate with quality or success, Fallen Angel, Flight 549, Flight Attendant, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck that NICAP hat, G.J. Alison Matthews, Giants From Outer Space Take Robot For Walkies in Russian Park, Gillian Anderson, Greg Michaels, Greys, Hans Ingram Ron Sauve, How do the Millennium Groups finances work?, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HIS GODDAMN NAME?, introtox, introtox.com, Jaclynn Grad, Jerry Schram, Joe Spano, John Destrey, Jordan Black, K-19: The Widow Maker, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, Larold, Larold Rebhun, Little Traveller, Lost Time, Louis Frish, Lt. Bob 'Bletch' Bletcher, Mark Wilson, Max, Max Fenig, Megan Gallagher, Melting Marshmallow Teeth, Michael Short, Mike Millar, Millennium Mitch Pileggi, MP, Mr. Ballard, Mythology, Pendrell, Personnel Chief Dana Flender, Peter Watts, Pilot, pre 9/11 airport, Proloft, Radiation, Regy Sayhay, Rick Dobran, Robin Burdge, Roland, Sal Nancy Kerr, Sandy Geiger Cheryl Mullen, Scott Bellis, Scott Garrett, Scully killed Pendrell, Sean Penrell, Sharon Graffia, Showbiz, Skeletor, Smooth Time, So Max was flying to give Mulder the piece of alien tech? Why didn't his crazy girlfriend just give them her piece of alien tech when she met them, Stacy Fair, Stephen J. Lang, Steve Guttenberg, Stewardess, Stewart Laine, Superstructure or Plane Jane Regular Change your pants Jeff Selleck Foxworthy, Take some asprin Frank, Tammy Ginader, Tardot Dee Jay Jackson, Teliko, Tempus Fugit, Terry O'Quinn, The most awkward ninja, The slowest run ever, The Third Man, Tickle Me Elmo, Tom O'Brien, UFO, Ummm hey Jeff Selleck Foxworthy? Ya know Mulder was at that meeting where you were openly sneering at him, Val Stefoff, Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3, Walter Skinner, Weird Dog Panting Effect, Why are these assholes just carrying around insanely radioactive items? Maybe put it in a lead-lined case. Definitely stop rubbing it on your face, Why isn't he still wearing the flippers, X-Files, xfiles, Željko Ivanek, Zeus and Roxanne

Trigger Warning for mentions of Beavis and Butthead: Will joins us to discuss “Tunguska” Krycek is back and bruised (repeatedly) and everybody wants to bang it out. Seriously. Everybody. Millennium presents a really really good episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit with all the incest.

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Where Pendrell and Krycek are honored and never abused.

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Listen to Episode 4×08 – 1:45:38

Tags: "You better find out." P.S. get me this address stat little lady, 1908, A lot of things are happening. I'm not sure I fully understand why, A not crappy mythology episode?!?, A really good episode of Millennium that was not really an episode of Millennium... Not that we have any idea what an episode of Millennium looks like, Adorable Gillian Anderson SWAT outfits, Agent Pendrell, Alex Krycek, All the sexual tension. All of it, Angry old extra, Babylon 5, Bambi?, Baywatch Nights, Bevis and Butthead get far far too much discussion in this ep, boom boom, Brad Cupples, Brendan Beiser, Brent Stait, Campbell Lane, chicken wire, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Cobrakai Sexytime Hypnotist, cockroach stew, Committee Chairman, Dana Scully, David Bloom, David Duchovny, Did you bring the Stingray his money bitch? Stingray doesn't like it when bitches forget to pay, Diplomatic Courier, Do not leave Jordan with that neighbor!, Don't put Pendrell in danger, Down Below, Dr. Bambi Berenbaum, Dr. Bonita Sayre, Drunk Badge: P.D.U.I. --This fall on FOX, Everyone has lost their magic powers, Fox Mulder, Fuck the T.S.A., FUCK YOU ROBIN. YOU ARE DENOUNCED AND REJECTED FOR THIS CLIP! DENOUNCED AND REJECTED! #WORST, Ghost attack, Gillian Anderson, gulag, Handcuff shenanz, hazmat suit, Herda Hada Domestic Terrorists, Honolulu International Airport, Hordak, How much would it suck to be a plumber at the Russian alien pipework sprinkler gulag, I could have sworn this dude was in the House. Apparently he's a Senator... but they keep calling him Congressman. What is the deal?, I got a rock, I love this country... and you. Let's expose this truth... and each other, I want a flashback to Krycek and the Mullet Militia, Incest Fam, infected, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Jan Rubes, Jessica Schreier, John Neville, Kim Mannerisms, Kim Manners met Chris Carter at a lame-ass event for surfing magazine enthusiasts, Knocking people over for kicks, Krycek is human punching bag, Krycek: Proffessional Backstabbing Fool, Laurie Holden, Lee Serpa, Life Advice: Be happy investigating the alien life you have instead of investigating the alien life that might be in a Russian gulag, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Maybe invest in level 5 containment suits, Millennium SVU, Mitch Pileggi, Mythology, Nicholas Lea, Night Whispers, Old timey black oil, One generation from a full peacock scenario, People standing up are usually not dead, Planet of the Apes, prison, Random acts of unnecesary violence, Ratboy, razor wire, Representative Senator Congressman Sorenson, Rich White Girls, right-wing extremists, Robin Burdge, rock, Russia, Sexytime Getaway, Shhh be quiet. Act like a table, Shirtless Stingray, Siberia, Sideways Badge Cop, Stefan Arngrim, Stingray is now running a brothel, Stop calling this guy congressman he's a Senator... This will only piss him off and theoretically your career depends on this, Stress Man, Stupid Haircut?... yo kettle you best check in the mirror before that pot leaves you for dead in a, Swarthy Man, Tammy Ginader, That giant squashed down nose took up multiple televisions, The Cigarette Smoking Chump, The family tree with the least forks ever, The Prisoner, The Romney Dream, The Well-Manicured Man, They pretty much wrote this ep for Claire, Thor and Loki, Timothy Mayhew, Tunguska, Vassily Peskow, Vinnie the Voodoo dog, Walter Skinner, Well Manicured Horse Farm, Why is he asleep?, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, You called me a bad name, You can't be forced to let someone rummage through your belongings, You think they would be a little more paranoid about core samples possibly from the Antarctic

Paul Maki is here, along with some other interlopers, to help us uncover the secret of the ooze 8 levels underground as we discuss apocrypha. Scully and Stingray’s secret liaisons are further illuminated, Krycek vomits up his oily alien buddy, and we realize that this entire series is predicated on a series of bumbling lackeys.

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Where no one burries their dead alive.

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Listen to Episode 3×16 – 2:24:14

Tags: 1013, Agent Caleca, Agent Fuller, Agent Pendrell, Alex Krycek, Apocrypha, Barry W. Levy, Bebop, Black Oil, Brad Cupples, Brendan Beiser, Bruce Harwood, Burying your dead alive is not a good idea, Capt. Kyle Sanford, Chris Carter, Chris Hansen, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Craig Warkentin, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Kaye, Dean Haglund, Deep Throat, Dmitry Chepovetsky, Don S. Williams, Donatello, Elders, Eric Breker, Fox Mulder, Frances Flanagan, Frank Spotnitz, Ghostlight Podcast, Giant Red Door, Gillian Anderson, Harrison Coe, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, Jeff Chivers, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Neville, Kevin McNulty, Kim Manners, Krang, Lenno Britos, Leonardo, LokiCast with Tammy and Brad, Luis Cardinal, Major Domo, Martin Evans, Matt Humphrey, Maybe have your go to assassin not be the lamest, Mélanie Richard, Melissa Scully, Melvin Frohike, Michael Bublé, Michelangelo, Mitch Pileggi, Mythology, Navy Doctor, Nicholas Lea, Oilcek, P-51 mustang, Paul Maki, Peter Scoular, Piper Maru, radiation burns, Raphael, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Richard Hersley, Robin Burdge, Rocksteady, Scully does machines (That's a fact Jack!), Shredder, Skinner is cool but crude (Gimme a break!), Skinner needs a shirt not a cane, Slycek, Splinter, Stanley Walsh, Stingray, Suleka Mathew, Tammy Ginader, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The lamest of the FBI, The Lone Child Predators, The Lone Gunmen, The Punk Frogs, The Well-Manicured Man, This does not make sense, Tom Braidwood, Tony Stark, Wacky lackeys, Wait... leaving the podcast for tacos is an option? WHY WAS I NOT TOLD THIS! #Outrage #IDemandTacoEscapes, Walter Skinner, When the Cigarette Man attacks these special agents cut him no slack, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, Young Cigarette Smoking Man