Case Closed

November 25th, 2016

We did it! We survived all of the X-Files! Join us for one last time… for now, as we discuss stats, scores, monsters, and upsetting fanfiction.

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Where this nonsense is out there.

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Listen to the final episode – 1:17:37

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Episode 8×10 – Badlaa

February 24th, 2016

Matt and Mila are here for the confounding and repulsive Episode 8×10 – “Badlaa”. Scully is sad that she’s not quite as sociopathic as Mulder and there’s a monster that is climbing up the ass of random people for no discernible reason. The nest makes room for another loser in the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1×02 “Bond, Jimmy Bond”

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Where everyone agrees that submarines belong in the ocean.

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Listen to Episode 8×10 – 1:52:08

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We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it’s inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.

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Where Mustache Man is canon.

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Listen to Special Episode – 0:52:06

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Episode 7×21 – Je Souhaite

December 9th, 2015

Matt, Will, and Mila join us for the magical Episode 7×21 – “Je Souhaite” wherein a scooterbitch gets his comeuppance and Mulder tries to impress his second magic Jinni.

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Where we all wish we had a stouthearted mule and a magic sack that was always full of turnips

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Listen to Episode 7×21 – 1:38:33

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Episode 7×16 – Chimera

November 4th, 2015

Join Claire and Brad, as no one else was brave enough to do so, as we discuss 7×16 – “Chimera” an episode with a surprising lack of chimeras and a surplus of ugly babies and terrifying Easter bunnies.

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Where no one should be that scared of a bird.

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Listen to Episode 7×15 – 1:34:16

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Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

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Welcome to the third season, where things are just as ridiculous as ever. Dave joins us as we learn why your health insurance doesn’t cover trips to the rez for medical treatment. Scully is being molested left and right and it is not appropriate. We celebrate the rambling return of dream Deep Throat and Melissa (as well as her shitty crystal choker) gets what she deserves.

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Where you won’t be arbitrarily charged for insubordination.

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Listen to Episode 3×01 – 1:28:36

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