We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it’s inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.

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Where Mustache Man is canon.

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Listen to Special Episode – 0:52:06

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A second part of a two-parter that doesn’t completely fall apart? Evangeline joins us for 5×14 “The Red and the Black” There’s a vague ill-defined war going on between alien factions. Scully acts like a real Mulder-dummy and has regression hypnosis before having sense talked into her by Jeffrey Spender, American Hero and future half of the hottest new buddy cop show. Frank uses his Dragon powers to catch sin eater/urban legend dream catcher in Millennium 2×14 “The Pest House”

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Where Jeffrey Spender gets the respect he deserves.

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Listen to Episode 5×14 – 1:58:54

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Happy Holidayzzz! Moira and Josh join us for 5×06 Christmas Carol. It’s xmas time and this year we get a (practically) David Duchovny free episode! Though we do have to suffer through Ghost-Choker Melissa and Terrible-Human Bill Scully. Also that demon seed monster baby from Millennium is back and this time… it’s a Scully. Millennium 2×06 “The Curse of Frank Black” is an amazing creepy Halloween nightmare.

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Where you will never have to wake up to Bill Scully’s giant gross face.

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Listen to Episode 5×06 – 2:11:26

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Episode 3×16 – Apocrypha

February 5th, 2014

Paul Maki is here, along with some other interlopers, to help us uncover the secret of the ooze 8 levels underground as we discuss apocrypha. Scully and Stingray’s secret liaisons are further illuminated, Krycek vomits up his oily alien buddy, and we realize that this entire series is predicated on a series of bumbling lackeys.

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Where no one burries their dead alive.

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Listen to Episode 3×16 – 2:24:14

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Episode 3×02 – Paper Clip

October 30th, 2013

Things are bonkers as Nazis, bumbling assassins, scurrying aliens, and everyone’s favorite sleepytime Navajo Albert get up in the mix for ‘Paper Clip’ Dave returns to try and make sense of it all as we stumble through a dark and smokey room. Will Claire be able to decide to vouchsafe for Team Skinner or Team Krycek?

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We will vouchsafe for you all.

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Listen to Episode 3×02 – 1:53:11

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Welcome to the third season, where things are just as ridiculous as ever. Dave joins us as we learn why your health insurance doesn’t cover trips to the rez for medical treatment. Scully is being molested left and right and it is not appropriate. We celebrate the rambling return of dream Deep Throat and Melissa (as well as her shitty crystal choker) gets what she deserves.

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Where you won’t be arbitrarily charged for insubordination.

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Listen to Episode 3×01 – 1:28:36

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Dan joins us as we discuss “One Breath” Scully is back… kind of… there’s a lot of bonkers boat antics, secret creepo angel kisses, and the lamest choker ever. Also we some serious hand work from Master Thespian David Duchovny.

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Where you will never be molested by creeper angels.

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Listen to Episode 2×08 – 1:41:59

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