Amanda and Matt join us to discuss the second film “The X-Files: I Want To Believe” In which Chris Carter tries to make us sympathize with a magical child molester… seriously. The fears of a middle-aged heterosexual male baby boomer are on full display. Also apparently everybody forgot that Mulder broke out of prison where he was on death row for murder.

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Where we don’t sympathize with child molesters no matter how magical they are.

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Listen to I Want To Believe – 2:55:57

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Mila and John help us mousetrap our way through 7×06 – “The Goldberg Variation”. In which Willie Garson might or might not use his windbreaker to be a flying squirrel. Mulder has terrible hair and even worse ideas. We see the early work of the harbinger of doomsday that will henceforth forever be known as Steve the Beef. A real life X-File terrifies all of us to our core. Harsh Ream 1×02 “Title I Can’t Be Bothered to Look Up” continues to be revolting garbage.

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Where no one is named Mike Pinocchio

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Listen to Episode 7×06 – 1:41:55

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Episode 7×04 – Millennium

August 11th, 2015

Join us as we say goodbye to the single greatest criminal profiler ever. Chris joins us as we discuss the lackluster 7×04 “Millennium” in which a Millennium Group rando decides to make four (and only four) zombies to bring about the end times. Luckily/unluckily Frank Black is able to save Mulder from his complete incompetence.

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Where Frank Black will always be our favorite Dragon.

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Listen to Episode 7×04 – 1:46:49

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It’s time for the season six finale as we discuss the theoretically exciting monologue laden kludge 6×22 “Biogenesis” in which magic alien space rocks attack bibles to convey information and Mulder gets fucked crazy. Millennium 3×19 “Seven and One” shows us Frank’s fear of drowning and a lot really random nonsense penned by Chris Carter.

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Where Neptune is always there with a refreshing Coca-Cola brand soda!

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Listen to Episode 6×22 – 1:33:21

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Chris and John Pavlich join us for 6×19 “The Unnatural” in which we are all shocked to learn that David Duchovny is competent at something. Brad makes an impassioned plea for old-fashioned traditional values. Millennium 3×16 “Saturn Dreaming of Mercury” is more disturbing the longer you think about it as Lucy Butler tries to show up Frank by going through Jordan.

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Where we will never take that alien bounty hunter seriously ever again.

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Listen to Episode 6×19 – 2:05:43

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Episode 6×16 – Alpha

June 2nd, 2015

Alirio helps us make sense of 6×16 “Alpha” in which a weredog shapeshifter mails himself to himself as a possible insurance fraud scheme? Also Scully is jealous of a werido Mulder met in a dog fetishist chatroom. Millennium 3×13 “Antipas” brings back Lucy Butler who Freddy Kruger rapes Frank.We also learn that Frank Black does not abide hedge mazes.

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Where we all stay in school, put on sunblock, and don’t have dream sex with the devil.

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Listen to Episode 6×16 – 2:01:19

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Episode 5×20 – The End

February 4th, 2015

Dan and Mike join us for the season five finale 5×20 “The End” in which a chess-playing telepath from the Philippines is revealed to be the key to ALL of the X-Files. How is this possible? No Clue. I’m SURE we’ll find out in the movie. Check n’ Spender are back in the mix and being completely wasted. Millennium 2×20 “A Room With No View” is horrifically terrifying and amazing.

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Where we know Check n’ Spender deserve better.

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Listen to Episode 5×20 – 1:41:51

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Episode 5×09 – Schizogeny

November 19th, 2014

It’s “Blame The Interns” Week on X-Files as Ian and Matt join us to discuss Episode 5×09 – “Schizogeny” in which the Lorax defeats Norman Bates-esque woman with questionable fashion accessories. On Millennium we discuss the amazing Darin Morgan episode 2×09 “Jose Chung’s ‘Doomsday Defense'”

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Where we have the correct vowels in our names.

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Listen to Episode 5×09 – 2:06:00

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Mike joins us to discuss 4×20 “Small Potatoes” in which Mulder is forced to face the fact he has the personality of damp cardboard after a grip of monster-tail-garbage-rape-babies are born in West Virginia leading them to the least ambitious shapeshifter ever. And we learn that Millennium two-parters are not that different from X-Files two-parters in the flummoxing 1×19 “Powers, Principalities, Thrones and Dominions”

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Where Tammy takes out the trash (aka babies).

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Listen to Episode 4×20 – 1:55:00

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Episode 4×19 – Synchrony

August 13th, 2014

Moira is here to chill with us for 4×19 “Synchrony” in which a grumpy old time traveler goes on a surprisingly spry killing spree whilst trying to avoid bursting into flames. The shocking episode Millennium 1×18 “Lamentation” keeps us on the edge of our seats and we give a sigh of relief that perennial everyman Detective Sandwich/KimmyGibblerHaus is ok.

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Where we’re too cool 4 time travel school.

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Listen to Episode 4×19 – 1:42:06

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