It’s time for the first X-Files movie. Matt joins us to discuss bees, herda hada yokel kids, and the proper etiquette for borrowing a friend’s clothing. We learn that if you forget the mythology up to this point and ignore the definitions of words it makes much more sense. We also have the greatest theme tune ever, a special surprise visit via explanatory monologue, and the reading of the contest winning fanfic.

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Where we Fight. Fight. Fight the Future.

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Listen to Fight The Future – 2:46:32

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Episode 5×20 – The End

February 4th, 2015

Dan and Mike join us for the season five finale 5×20 “The End” in which a chess-playing telepath from the Philippines is revealed to be the key to ALL of the X-Files. How is this possible? No Clue. I’m SURE we’ll find out in the movie. Check n’ Spender are back in the mix and being completely wasted. Millennium 2×20 “A Room With No View” is horrifically terrifying and amazing.

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Where we know Check n’ Spender deserve better.

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Listen to Episode 5×20 – 1:41:51

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A second part of a two-parter that doesn’t completely fall apart? Evangeline joins us for 5×14 “The Red and the Black” There’s a vague ill-defined war going on between alien factions. Scully acts like a real Mulder-dummy and has regression hypnosis before having sense talked into her by Jeffrey Spender, American Hero and future half of the hottest new buddy cop show. Frank uses his Dragon powers to catch sin eater/urban legend dream catcher in Millennium 2×14 “The Pest House”

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Where Jeffrey Spender gets the respect he deserves.

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Listen to Episode 5×14 – 1:58:54

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Episode 5×13 – Patient X

December 16th, 2014

DJ Jon Johnny Jon and Matt A join us for 5×13 “Patient X” in which Krycek and Cobrakai get super steamy on a ship. We are all shocked to realize Mulder still doesn’t believe in aliens (just vampires) and Cigarette Smoking Man is still dead. In the super creepy Millennium 2×13 “The Mikado” we go back to a time to when there were only 473 porn sites on the web.

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Where we are the only people that remember that Mulder was infected with the Black Oil.

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Listen to Episode 5×13 – 1:49:49

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Episode 4×09 – Terma

June 4th, 2014

Thrill! At the easiest escape from a minimum security gulag/day spa ever imagined! Gasp! As Mulder avoids all danger and conflict through a patchwork of plotholes and ridiculous convenience! Weep! For the brave American horse framed for a series of murders he did not commit! Des joins us for “Terma”. Four seasons in and the two-part mythology episodes still make no sense whatsoever.

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Where David Duchovny is the one who should be held in contempt.

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Listen to Episode 4×09 – 2:05:47

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Trigger Warning for mentions of Beavis and Butthead: Will joins us to discuss “Tunguska” Krycek is back and bruised (repeatedly) and everybody wants to bang it out. Seriously. Everybody. Millennium presents a really really good episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit with all the incest.

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Where Pendrell and Krycek are honored and never abused.

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Listen to Episode 4×08 – 1:45:38

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Episode 3×16 – Apocrypha

February 5th, 2014

Paul Maki is here, along with some other interlopers, to help us uncover the secret of the ooze 8 levels underground as we discuss apocrypha. Scully and Stingray’s secret liaisons are further illuminated, Krycek vomits up his oily alien buddy, and we realize that this entire series is predicated on a series of bumbling lackeys.

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Where no one burries their dead alive.

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Listen to Episode 3×16 – 2:24:14

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Episode 3×02 – Paper Clip

October 30th, 2013

Things are bonkers as Nazis, bumbling assassins, scurrying aliens, and everyone’s favorite sleepytime Navajo Albert get up in the mix for ‘Paper Clip’ Dave returns to try and make sense of it all as we stumble through a dark and smokey room. Will Claire be able to decide to vouchsafe for Team Skinner or Team Krycek?

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We will vouchsafe for you all.

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Listen to Episode 3×02 – 1:53:11

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Welcome to the third season, where things are just as ridiculous as ever. Dave joins us as we learn why your health insurance doesn’t cover trips to the rez for medical treatment. Scully is being molested left and right and it is not appropriate. We celebrate the rambling return of dream Deep Throat and Melissa (as well as her shitty crystal choker) gets what she deserves.

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Where you won’t be arbitrarily charged for insubordination.

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Listen to Episode 3×01 – 1:28:36

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