Episode 9×05 – Lord of the Flies
June 16th, 2016
Prepare for another Kim Manners bug-wranglin’ classic ep of X-Files. Ian and Jon join us for Episode 9×05 – “Lord of the Flies” where we meet our hero Dr. Rocky Bronzino and learn that bug people are real creeps.
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Where bug eps are the best eps.
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Listen to Episode 9×05 – 1:42:32
Tags: 4D, Aaron Paul, Acting Chops, Aeryk Egan, Alias, all Entomologists on this show are the best, Annabeth Gish, Bill / Cap'n Dare, Brad Cupples, Branden Williams, Bugs are terrible at bicycle riding, Camera Dude, chokers are the worst, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David 'Sky Commander Winky' Winkle, David Duchovny, Despite his claims you can Find Jon Here in these very tags, DJ Jon Johnny J Jon, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. Herb Fountain, Dr. Rocky Bronzino, Dumbass, Dylan Lokensgard, Erick Avari, Flies, Gillian Anderson, Hank Harris, Hey Nat-Dawg? What's with your necklace?, introtox, introtox.com, Jackass, Jane Lynch, Jeff Goldblum, Jennifer Garner is a national treasure, John Doggett, Kim Manners, lice, Michael Wiseman, Monica Reyes, Mrs. Anne T. Lokensgard, Natalie Gordon, Reyes is the worst, Robert Patrick, Samaire Armstrong, Tammy Ginader, Teacher's Pet, The bug episodes are the best, The Dick Tremayne of X-Files, This book… I can’t even, Thomas Schnauz, Web of Queer Podcast, Why don't they have bugheads, X-Files, xfiles
Episode 7×06 – The Goldberg Variation
August 25th, 2015
Mila and John help us mousetrap our way through 7×06 – “The Goldberg Variation”. In which Willie Garson might or might not use his windbreaker to be a flying squirrel. Mulder has terrible hair and even worse ideas. We see the early work of the harbinger of doomsday that will henceforth forever be known as Steve the Beef. A real life X-File terrifies all of us to our core. Harsh Ream 1×02 “Title I Can’t Be Bothered to Look Up” continues to be revolting garbage.
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Where no one is named Mike Pinocchio
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Listen to Episode 7×06 – 1:41:55
Tags: ACK PUT A HAT ON THAT THING... OR A BAG, Alyson Reed, attempted murder, bad luck, Billy, Brad Cupples, Bungee Jumper Mysteries, Cannibal, Carl, Cause and Effect, ceiling fan, Chip Fogleman, Chris Carter Civil War Letters, Chris Fogleman, Claire finally admits that her hotmail is garbage, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Did a highlighter explode on all over him?, Dom Magwili, Dominic, Don't watch Harsh Realm, Ernie Lee Banks, Extreme, eye patch, fall from height, falling from height, Final Destination, five card draw, flying squirrell, Fox Mulder, freak accident, Fuck Harsh Realm, Gary Busey, Gillian Anderson, GODDAMN REAL LIFE MONSTER, good luck, Harsh Realm, Head of the Family, Henry Weems, hepatitis, Hiders in the hotel, hit by a truck, How did they get in the building, Hush, I CLOSE MY EYES AND I STILL SEE THAT MISHAPEN HEAD, I have no fucking clue what 'not really a marshmallow' means, If they had spent less money on that stupid UFO in the first ep of this season then this might have been feasible, introtox, introtox.com, Irons are the worst enemy of the mob, Jeff Goldblum, Joe Cutrona, Let's Make a Deal series of clues, Lion Mask Angel, lottery ticket, Luck, Lucy Butler, Maggie Lupone, Marshall Manesh, Maurice Albert, Maurice is the best, Mediocre editing, melrose park illinois, Mook, Most of Willie Garson's career has been spent in a windbreaker, Mouse Trap, Mr. Belvedere, Mr. Haas, Mr. Jank, Mr. Ng, Mulder is really throwing out some dangerous ideas, Mulder what happend to your hair, Mutt Williams, Nicholas Worth, NO NO NO NO, No one is named Mike Pinnochio, None of this makes sense, Pennywise the Clown, playing poker, Plumbing, puff of smoke, Ramy Zada, rare blood type, Richie Lupone, ricochet, Rube Goldberg, rube goldberg machine, Shia LaBeouf, short circuit, sidewalk elevator, Steve The Beef, Stop putting your dog in danger, straight flush, Strange Luck, Super Mario Bros., surviving a fall, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, THAT FACE, THAT GUYS FACE, The Goldberg Variation, The most jaundiced of jaundiced, The Pretender, The Worst Goth, thrown from a rooftop, Thumbs-Up Dog, Tony Longo, Tooms, Weird voiceover, What does it mean?, WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS HEAD, Why is everyone hanging out with this kid?, Willie Garson, X-Files, xfiles, YIKES
Episode 4×03 – Teliko
April 22nd, 2014
Matt stops by to help us despise, hamburgle, and oscillate between shock and amusement on the subject of ‘Teliko’ the least racist racist episode of X-Files. Meanwhile an old friend returns in ‘Dead Letters’ when Pennywise comes to Millennium (and doesn’t kill the wife and/or daughter… yet).
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Where fountains are treated with the respect they deserve. Maybe too much respect.
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Listen to Episode 4×03 – 1:59:52
Tags: 1996 Summer Olympics, African Folk Tales, Agent Pendrell, Albino, Album Art Spoilers!, Alias, All new truths DO NOT begin as heresies and end as superstitions, American Immigration Policy is honorific monsterous, Bambara, Baywatch Nights, Bill Mackenzie, Blackula, Bob Morrisey, Brad Cupples, Brendan Beiser, Brittany Tiplady, Buckaroo Banzai, Bus Driver, Bye-Bye, Carl Lumbly, Catherine Black, CDC, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Clown, Congo, Creepo nightmare monster clowns, Dana Scully, Danny Wattley, David Duchovny, Dead Letters, Deceive, Deceive Inveigle Obfuscate, Dennis Rodman, Diabria, Dr. Simon Bruin, Eugene Tooms, First Officer, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Briggs, Fuck Married with Children, Fuck you Chris Carter, Gillian Anderson, Gross Drooling Mulder, Hamburgle, Howard Gordon, If you had ever been beaten by the police or had your home burned to the ground for no other reason than being born then maybe you would understand why he ran and why you would run too. <--BEST LIN, introtox, introtox.com, Inveigle, It's a Racist World, Jack Black references at 10am is not allowed, James Charleston, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Charleston, Jordan Black, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Little Traveler, Lt. Madsen, Making jokes at 10am hurts more, Marcus bitchslaps white-privilege-Mulder, Marcus Duff, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Mark Snow is the Chris Carter of Music, Matt Bayes, Maxine Guess, Megan Gallagher, Michael O'Shea, Millennium, Millennium Minute(s), Mitch Pileggi, Mulder is a dick, Murray Gold, Next person that says inveigle gets a punch to the mouth, Not as racist as most racist X-Files eps, Obfuscate, Panpipes of xenophobia, Paralysed Juicebox People, Powder, PUT THAT EVIDENCE DOWN, Racism, Robin Burdge, Robin is going to make painful Alias jokes until we die and come back as Russian zombies in a convoluted season finale that even Damon Lindeloff will make fun of, Robin lost his virginity in that fountain... by himself, Samuel Aboah, Scully is Jessica Fletcher #MurderMagnet, Seriously? Inveigle? REALLY?, So nobody is gonna talk about his crazy stretchy powers. Fair enough, Spirits of the air, Squeeze, Stop eating in the autopsy room, Stop trying to sexually assaulting Cobrakai, Tammy Ginader, Terrible Michael Jackson Joke, The best part of waking up... AHHHHHH! THERE'S A GUY IN MY COFFEE CAN! Too black for the X-Files, The Flight Attendant, The Strike, The worst acting Gillian Anderson has ever done, Throat boner, ventilation shimmy scenes, Walter Skinner, What the fuck is a spirit?, Why would you cover up a murder caused by a spooky scary monster that you are afraid of? You don't help things that you are afraid of, wiki-fountain.com, Willie Amakye, WTF were you doing in that autopsy Scully?, X-Files, xfiles, Yo bus driver? If Dude doesn't want to get on your bus why are you yelling at him?, Zakes Mokae
Episode 3×03 – D.P.O.
November 5th, 2013
Yikes, guys we are all going to have to come together to get through this one. Shane joins us as we struggle through D.P.O. –it’s an episode. We grieve the loss of George the Cow and 44 minutes of our lives. We answer the age old question is Jack Black worse than 9/11? Stay strong: Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose is next week!
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Where we all have science breakfast at the diner.
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Listen to Episode 3×03 – 1:41:16
Tags: 9/ll brought us together as a people unlike Jack Black, A career as white trash yokels, April is the Cruelest Month, Bart 'Zero' Liquori, Best Meditation EVER, Brad Cupples, Breaking Brad, Brent Chapman, Candle Power, Chris Carter, Chuck Lorre, Claire Laffar, Claire's LokiCast, Claire's Old Timey Hand-Crank Hotmail, D.P.O., Dana Scully, Darin Peter Oswald, David Duchovny, Ernie Lively, Eye Contact... Shmy Contact, Fleshworld, Fox Mulder, Frank Kiveat, Gillian Anderson, Giovanni Ribisi, Giovanni Ribisi is the real life Duddits from Dreamcatcher, Grossest Human, Hey man nice shot, Howard Gordon, introtox, introtox.com, It get's better, Jack Black, Jack Black worse than 9/11? Yes. Of course he is., Jack Hammond, Jason Griffith, Jeff Goldblum, Jon is dellusional, Judge Tiny Eyes, Karen Lorre, Karen Witter, Kate Robbins, Kim Manners, Lame-Wendy wannabe, Lightning Boy vs Pollen Boy!, Lightning Nerd, Lightning Robs Bank! Burgler Acquitted!, Loki'd, Mar Andersons, Melting Cellphones, Mrs.. Oswald, Mulder's magic porn sense, My Two Dads, Never Forget, Nothing happens in this awful episode, ohming, Paramedic, Penn & Teller, Peter Anderson, Powder, R.I.P. George, Robin Burdge, Robin's Score clearly reflects a delusional mind, Science Breakfast Diner, Science doesn't understand lightning? WTF are you talking about?, Sharon Kiveat, Sheriff Teller, Skipping Ahead, Slack jawed yokel faces, So what the fuck are this dude's powers?, Sonic The Hedgehog, Stan Buxton, Steve Makaj, Stop creepin' on your teach, Sympathetic Characters? Bah Humbug!, Tammy Ginader, The creepiest of creepsters, The Other Sister, The Red Dwarf IntroCast, The Traffic Cop, These fools look like they smell of spoiled milk, Thor, Too much lightning? Better call the FBI., Uncomfortable Admissions with Robin, Virtual Fighter 2, Wacky VHS release schedule, What is with the mysterious record scratch?... No clue. Ask Claire, who wouldn't rather stay in a deadend whitetrash job than run away with Jack Black, Why did they call the FBI before the U.S. Bureau Of Meterology?, wikifeet, Worst Human, Worst Spin-off Ever, X-Files, xfiles
Episode 1×21 – Tooms
March 19th, 2013
In this super-rad episode Moira visits and we discuss the return of everone’s favorite child predator Doug Hutchinson as Eugene Victor Tooms. We learn the shocking truth about the Frank Briggs and discuss the feasibility of toilet toupees and liver based time travel.
Make sure you check-out the super handy chart illustrating “The Life and Times of Everyone’s Favorite Crazy Old Cop Frank Briggs”
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It’s much more culturally relevant than Hotmail or The Simpsons!
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Listen to Episode 1×21 – 1:46:46
Tags: Alf Scully, Bile Nest, Brad Cupples, Charles Xavier, Check it out, Child Predators, Chris Hansen, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Cockblock Fox, Conventional investigation does not preclude unconventional investigation, Courtney Stodden, Daredevil, David Duchovny, Differentiate - to become unlike or dissimilar; change in character; to make a distinction, Doug Hutchinson, DVD makers ruin peoples lives, Escalators will murder you, Everyone's favorite centenarian Frank Briggs, Francis Underwood, Frank Briggs is 121yrs old, Frank doesn't know the difference between the words differentiate and guess, Frank thinks Scully is 90 years old, Gillian Anderson, he wont kill the couple that's too obvious.. but his court appointed therapist NOT OBVIOUS AT ALL, Heinrich the Moose Hunting Norwegian Elkhound, Hey Frank... why didn't you mention that liver a year ago, House of Cards, How do you fall asleep watching a serial killing monster from?, If Mulder wasn't a crazy fuck Tooms would have remained locked up, Intro to Corsair The Starjammer Space Pirate, Intro to House of Cards, Intro to X-Men, Jeff Goldblum, Jersey Devil Child, John Boehner, Jose Quesada, Kevin Spacey, Lidlock is Tooms only weakness, Liver based time travel, Liver Lust, Moira's Medical Minute, Pennywise the Clown, Power, Quickly built malls, Ridic 3d teeth modeling program, Robin Burdge, Robin loses the episode, Root Beer Fate and Liverwurst Dreams, Shocker, Silvia Horne, Skinner, SpaceDawg, Stop liking up dead rat juice!, Tammy Ginader, Ted Cruz, Th finest agent in the 60yr history of the FBI except all the others, That guy is clearly three midgets in a blue trenchcoat, The adopt a crazy person program, The Fly, The Hibernating Mutant MouthGuard from ToomsCo, The last time someone used hotmail other than Claire people were still watching 'The Simpsons', The Matlock/Diagnosis Murder style X-Files Spinoff, The new standard of X-Files episodes is if they require me to make an elaborate chart to explain things, The Professor sits down, The X-Files, These pennies are evidence for something we already knew and didn't need further evidence of, Time Traveling, Time Traveling Tooms Kills Himself, Toilet Toupee, Tooms, Tooms is a Goulie, Tooms is a sleepybear, Twin Peaks, ummm dude try to kill you... how about rescheduling your meetings?, UMMMM I thought he ate the livers? So he just takes them, Unnecessarily tormenting Claire, What is with the wacky font on the doors?, why does Tooms climb into the back of the van?, X-Files Babies, xfiles, YOU DO NOT WANT THAT SANDWICH. DESTROY IT!, Your toilet is not a chair