Episode 6×17 – Trevor
June 9th, 2015
Jonathon joins us for 6×17 “Trevor” the story of a poor man beaten down by the anti-man femanazi system who gains the power to walk through walls and find clothes that fit vs the dishonorable woman who doesn’t know her place. Millennium 3×14 “Matryoshka” takes us back to 1945 to learn about a Jekyll and Hyde/Incredible Hulk Monster and J. Edgar Hoover’s interaction with the Millennium Group.
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Where shoes and ponchos are base requirements.
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Listen to Episode 6×17 – 2:01:19
Tags: Agent Emma Hollis, Alex Ferguson, Apparently Hillary pretended to have a southern accent... maybe she'll start pretending not to be a war hawk and a extreme corporatist as well, Barbara Bain, boarding up a house, Brad Cupples, Brad really takes it to the Welsh and their aggressively nonsensical use of vowels and consonants, breaking a window, Carbon, Catherine Dent, character name in title, Claire Laffar, Clyde Tolson, Condoms, David Bowe, David Duchovny, David Fredericks, Dirt Shack, DJ Jonny Jon Jon J Pope, Dr. Alexander, Dr. Caton, ET, Frank Black, Frank Novak, Gary Busey, Gillian Anderson, Hey Trev Trev you know how you've got a little pinky? Well here's Daddy Pinky's Pinky, Hider in the house, hit by a car, introtox, introtox.com, It's a dirt shack farm, J. Edgar Hoover, Jackie Gurwitch, Jekyll and Hyde Hulk, John Diehl, John Wick, Jonathon Pope, June Gurwitch, Klea Scott, Lamont Johnson, Lance Henriksen, Lilly Unser, Mark Houghton, Matryoshka, meridian mississippi, Merkel Markel Merkel, Michael Lanyard, Millennium, nail through hand, No body wants to be a Trevor, Ocean Hellman, Peter Hanlon, Peter Watts, Poncho's and shoes at every entrance and exit, prison, Rob Bowman is a sexist douche, Robert Werther, Rubber Bullets, Shinto God of dirt jails, Someone please explain this ET condom joke, Southern names are awful, Spontaneous Human Combustion, Superintendent Raybert Fellowes, Tammy Ginader, telephone booth, Terry O'Quinn, That Wedding Magazine is Upsetting, The 7th Guest, The Pretender, This ep could really use a Gallagher style giant rubber mallet, This Millenium Episode is pretty much an X-Files ep, title spoken by character, Tornado, Trevor, Tuesday Knight, unpaid bill, Walking through walls, Wally Dalton, Whaley, Wilson 'Pinker' Rawls, X-Files, xfiles, Young Lilly Unser
Episode 5×15 – Travelers
December 31st, 2014
Chris Joins for 5×15 “Travelers” an episode with all the trappings of boring fanfiction and the lamest unnecessary explanation for why they are called “X-Files” imaginable. An epic West Side Story Battle between Owls and Roosters begins on Millennium 2×15 “Owls”.
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Where Roy Cohn is always the monster.
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Listen to Episode 5×15 – 1:50:28
Tags: 5&2, A Christmas Story, Angels, Arthur Dales, Bartender, Boring, Brad Cupples, Brian Leckner, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Chevy Chase, Claire Laffar, Claire sets the boundaries on when xmas ends, Clear Knight, Coroner, Cory Dagg, Dana Scully, Darren McGavin, David Duchovny, David Fredericks, David Moreland, Dean Aylesworth, Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour Podcast, Dorothy Bahnsen, Edward Skur, Eileen Pedde, Eric W. Gilder, Esophagus Spiders, FBI Director, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Fredric Lane, Fuck Babyboomers, Fuck David Duchovny for making me take Chris Carter's side in an argument, Garret Dillahunt, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Hayes Michel, I do not understand this elaborate owl/rooster plot, I would be much more likely to believe Millennium was moving towards a movie than X-Files right now, introtox, introtox.com, J. Douglas Stewart, J. Edgar Hoover, James Wong, Jane Perry, Jets, JFK, Joe & Chris Do a Thing, John Lackland is History's Greatest Schmuck, Jordan Black, Kimberly Patton, Kristen Cloke, Lance Henriksen, Landlord, Lara Means, Look Honey I'm a Dragon Our Daughter Sees Angels And you work for straight up nazis., Magic Jeezo Wood, Malcolm Stewart, Maryland, Megan Gallagher, Millennium, Mitchell Kosterman, Mr. Johnston, Mrs Skur, old Edward Skur, Owls, Peter Watts, Peter Watts: Professional Creep, R. G. Armstrong, Richard I was the worst, Roger Haskett, Roosters, Roy Cohn, Sharks, Sheriff, So pops Mulder just let a guy keep killing people for all those decades? Cool guy, Space, Space Spiders, Taliens, Tammy Ginader, Terry O'Quinn, The Last Word: a Press Gang Introcast, The Old Man, The Unusual Suspects, Thomas J. Wright, Travelers, umm Watts? could you at least leave a note that you were skulking about in the shadows on my front door?, West Side Story, When your an owl your an owl all the way, Why are there solved cases in the same cabinet with unsolved cases, Why isn't Mulder the least bit interested in SPACE SPIDERS?!?, Why would you file unsolved cases under "U"?, X-Files, xfiles, young Arthur Dales, Young Bill Mulder
Episode 4×07 – Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man
May 20th, 2014
Ya know that shadowy unnamed villain? How would you like to know all of his secrets? OR what if we waste over 44 min of your life by giving you a ton of garbage that in no way matches up with the show you’ve been watching up to this point? Better yet let’s try and force you to sympathize with him whilst hijacking the murders of actual humans for our shitty TV show. It’s ok we’re baby-boomers we own history and can exploit tragedy for commercial tat all we want! P.S. If you don’t like it it doesn’t even matter #Loophole #FuckYou Chris joins us to discuss “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man” and the Millennium episode “Blood Relatives”
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Where nonsense conspiracy theories will always have hammers dropped on them.
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Listen to Episode 4×07 – 2:14:27
Tags: "Hey I'm just trying to keep up", 1962, 1963, 1991, 1992, 1996, A fouty four minute fuck you to the audience, A troubled orphan, all the facts, All The President's Men, Anita Hill, Apology Thwarting, Apparently Chris Carter was among the people that didn't have a fucking clue what was happening in this episode, Arbitrary use of black and white, assassinations, Baby Boomers, Bane, Baywatch Nights, Bill Mulder, Brad Cupples, Bruce Harwood, Buffalo Bills, Chris JC, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Coincidence, CSM-25 countermeasure filter, Dan Zukovic, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Fredericks, Dean Aylesworth, Deep Throat, Dermot Mulroney, Doctor Who, Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour Podcast, Donnelly Rhodes, Dummy-Repeating-Exposition-Detective, Dutch, Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation, Everybody can have plenty of blame there's no reason to serve it just to Chris Carter, Feel free to send us candy money pizza or scotch, Forrest Gump, Fort Bragg, Fox Mulder, Frank Spotnitz, Frohike should be dead, Fuck you baby-boomers, Fun Ride is the cloak of cowards, Gecko, General Francis, Gillian Anderson, Gingervitis, Glen Morgan, Greer Cort, Hacky, Henry IV part one, Hordak, How the fuck was anyone associated with this garbage nominated for anything other than unemployment?, I can kill you whenever I please... but not today, I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this episode, Indiana George, introtox, introtox.com, J. Edgar Hoover, Jack Colquitt, James Earl Ray, James Wong, Jerry Hardin, JFK, Jimmy Olsen, Joe DiMaggio, John F. Kennedy, John Fitzgerald Byers, Just listening to this to write tags is raising my blood pressure, Last Breath, Laurie Murdoch, Laziest fucking writers room on the planet, Lee Harvey Oswald, Life is like a box of chocolates, Lone Gunman, Lydon, magazine, Martin Luther King Jr., Melvin Frohike, Millennium, Miracle on Ice Hockey Match, Morgan Weisser, Movies, Mr. Hunt, Mul-dor bland minion of Skeletor, Mulder was a smug douche as a baby, Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man, My advice? Burn it! It stunk, Nicotine Patch, Oliver Stone is a crank, Paul Jarrett, Peter Hanlon, Quantum Leap, Rang Dang Do, Raul Bloodworth, Red Dwarf, Red Skull, Resignation letter, Robin Burdge, Rodney King Trial, Roman a Clef, Ronald, Smoking Man, So there were no aliens between Roswell and 1991 now? Is Samantha still part of the mythology or should we ignore that like every other piece of 'mythology' that gets obliterated on a weekly basis?, Soap, Space: Above and Beyond, Spooky, Super Bowl, Swashbuckling George, Take a Chance: A Jack Colquitt Adventure, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn's Mustache, The Comedian, The Commedian, The Lone Gunmen, The Magic Bullet, The Mark Snow - Murray Gold - Hanz Zimmer of our Generation, The New Mustache Man, This episode is completely disposable, Tom Braidwood, Trust no one, UFO wreck, ugh Frohike not being killed off is the cherry on the top of this shit sundae, UN resolution 1013, Wasted Opportunity, We devise at least two dozen better versions of this ep, We're not exactly sure of what happened on Millennium but it was still better than X-Files, What is the new Interpretation Scully? WHAT IS IT?, What the fuck happened between George arriving and leaving to make him not kill Frohike?, Where the fuck are the elders? Or anyone, Where the hell is Darin Morgan, Who the fuck put an alien on a ventilator?, Why do they have a sign?, Why does the alien have a ventilator?, William B. Davis, Winnie The Pooh, Winter Soldier, X-Files, xfiles, You're Skeptical of Victim's Services? Really?, Young William Mulder
Episode 1×19 – Shapes
March 5th, 2013
Matt climbs back into the ring to talk about Shapes, AKA Sheriff Hawk vs Werewolf. The writers kind of try to not be racist. Scully tries not be incompetent. Sneaking Fox tries to… hang around until the mystery is solved? Honestly everybody is losing this one except us because we’ve got Hawk being a badass and a caged mountain lion to look at.
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It’s more fun than an evening with a caged animal that makes you think of your mom!
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Listen to Episode 1×19 – 1:40:37
Tags: A cut scene so bad Tammy thought Robin made it up, American Werewolf in London, Baywatch Nights, Blood Lust, Blood Rage, Brad Cupples, Caged Mountain Lion Stock Footage, Claire delivers on her own time, Claire Laffar, David Duchovny, Donnelly Rhodes, Dr. David Hasselfhoff's funeral for the unfrozen Viking Warrior was a billion times cooler than this funeral, Dutch from Soap, FanFic Contest, Future Matt, Gillian Anderson, Goodenplenty, Goodensnake, Gooodenough, Hawk is always a badass, he had more possesions than friends... like everybody? I've got more socks than friends, Hillbilly Murderers, I love to watch caged animals and thinking about my dead mom when I'm drunk and naked... OH THAT'S NOT CRAZY, I must draw you, I'm not disturbing your funeral by riding up on a horse am I?, It never leaves a trail...except this time... when Mulder immediately finds a trail... and skin, J. Edgar Hoover, Japes 'n Shapes, Manitou, Manitou eyes vary HUGELY by description, Marley and Me: The Puppy Years, Matt Humphrey, Mel is proudly obtusely hilariously wrong, Michael Horse, Moira is angling to take out Robin and Matt, Moira's Medical Minute(s), Mulder is shooting his gun like a crazy person, Number of animals is a metric for sound like number of football fields is a metric for length, Oh yeah Scully just left with him... P.S. I forgot to tell her that he ate his father's blood and is in fact a cannibal monster... no big deal., Past Matt, Pennywise the Clown, Phases, Pregnancy Watch, Racism, Robin Burdge, Russian Doll Werewolves, Scully would give up her career to drive an ambulance, Shapes, Skinwalker, Sneaky Mountain Lion Antics, Soap, Steven King, Tammy Ginader, Teeth Calcium deposits?, The Creeps, The Twin Peaks Podcast, The X-Files, The Young Riders, Twilight, Twin Peaks, ummm why is 80% of the rez at the bar midday #Racism, Werewolves, What if you discovered your girlfriend was a native american MantiTe'o... Editors Note: I am shocked Robin didn't make this joke., What would an internal anomaly prove?, Where do the human sized skin and fur suits go when they change?, Windigo, Writing vs Directing in a battle for who is worse