DJ Jon Jonny J Jonathon joins us for the return of Donnie Pfaster in 7×07 – “Orison”. In which Scully hears a song three times thus proving ??? majicks? Reverend Hershal drills a hole in his head to get hypnosis powers as part of a plan to murder murderers for Baby Jeezo. Harsh Ream 1×03 “Title I Still Can’t Be Bothered to Look Up” is a complete waste of time.

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Where we can all agree hypnosis powers are not worth a hole in the head.

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Listen to Episode 7×07 – 1:54:40

Tags: 666, 6:66 am, All the candles, all the shampoo bottles, Blueberry, Blueberry is the polar opposite of the head guy from last week, bound and gagged, Brad Cupples, Brigham, bubble bath, Cake, Call Girl, Can we all agree Blueberry is the greatest character name ever, character name in title, Chip Johannessen, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, consciousness, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Did the call girl put the robe on him?, distraction, Don't Look Any Further, Donald Addie Pfaster, Donnie Pfaster should be in a donut shop swapping stories about his dealings with mankind, Doomed, Emilio Rivera, Eric Buker, escape from prison, Everyone's a murderer here, Extra blood in the brain... really?, FBI Agent, fetishist, Fox Mulder, Gillian Anderson, Gloy Amen, Guard, Harrisburg Pennsylvania, Harry Belafonte, Harsh Realm, Harsh Realm: Civil War Letter Monologue. Put Dog In Danger. Meet New Weird Disposable Character. Get Captured. Vague Mystery Monologue. Easily Escape. Civil War Letter Monologue., Hershel, hit by a car, Hypnosis, I denounce and reject Claire for her defamatory statements against Tangerine from The Garbagepail Kids Movie, I had to re-edit this at the last minute so if it's terrible misedited I denounce and reject myself, industrial accident, introtox, introtox.com, Irresistible, IS IT MORNING?, IS IT NIGHT?, Jeezo, John Hyatt, kneeling, latex gloves, Lisa Arch, Lisa Kushell, Lyle Lovett, Mama Look A Boo Boo, Marshal, Maybe close your windows if you are always kidnapped, Maybe just rewrite your script once, medical gloves, Mesmer, Mormon Bedtime, Movie Magic, Mulder is a dick, Nick Chinlund, Omar Santiago, Orison, Pennywise's natural hair color is space spider colored, Pfaster Scars, psychology, Rebecca Holland, Remeber when they met THE DEVIL?, Rev. Orison, Rick Cramer, Rob Bowman, rubber gloves, Scott Wilson, Scully the Vampire Slayer, severed finger, Shelf throw!, Shut your mouth!, So in addition to my tags I also copy and paste all the tags from imdb... what is with all the glove tags? Yikes there's some real glove fetishists out there, speech, sterile gloves, Steve Rankin, surgical gloves, Tammy Ginader, Tara Buck, Teliko, The power of the formula compels you, The wiggiest of wigs ever wigged and presumed frontrunning candidate for the reconstituted Whig party, This book is the worst, This guard is a real Scott Walker looking goober, Tip Top Gentleman, title spoken by character, trepanning, U.S. Marshal Daddo, WHAT TIME IS IT?, wig, Wild Child, Windows 10 is haunted, woman in bath, X-Files, xfiles

A second part of a two-parter that doesn’t completely fall apart? Evangeline joins us for 5×14 “The Red and the Black” There’s a vague ill-defined war going on between alien factions. Scully acts like a real Mulder-dummy and has regression hypnosis before having sense talked into her by Jeffrey Spender, American Hero and future half of the hottest new buddy cop show. Frank uses his Dragon powers to catch sin eater/urban legend dream catcher in Millennium 2×14 “The Pest House”

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Where Jeffrey Spender gets the respect he deserves.

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Listen to Episode 5×14 – 1:58:54

Tags: "I remind myself of a Navajo Story" --The most Chris Carter thing I've ever heard, "Look my Momz is just a dummy cripple. How's she supposed to roll her crippled up wheelchair all the way to Mt Crazy?", "Quiet Willy", Alex Krycek, Alex Shostak Jr, Alien Colonists, Allen Coulter, Black Oil, Brad Cupples, Brian Thompson, Bulletproof, Canada, Cassandra Spender, Catherine Black, Chapelle Jaffe, Check n' Spender, Chris Carter, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, Darcy Laurie, David Duchovny, Dmitri, Does Scully spend more time being kidnapped or in a hospital bed, Don S. Williams, Dr. Heitz Werber, Dr. Paton, Dr. Stoller, E. Jacob Woodcock, Edward, Evangeline, First Elder, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Go Fish, How many terrible novels were written in the smoking man cabin, Hypnosis, Hypnotic Orgasms, I gotta sell more paps, implants, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, Jeffrey Spender, Jim Jansen, John Moore, John Neville, Justin Louis, Kermit the Frog had a much harder time breaking out of a Gulag than Mulder did after he was infected with Alien Black Oil Parasites, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Maybe send your childhood pals a bottle of Scotch or a cheese plate instead of naming boats and dead bodies after them, Megan Gallagher, Melinda McGraw, Melissa Scully, Michael Massee, Miehal Suchanek, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, MulCek, Mulder is such a dick, Mulder jumped on the back of a truck whilst throwing Scully under a bus, Nicholas Lea, Peter Watts, Prosthetic Arm Mini-Fridge, Purdue, Regression Hypnotherapy is not a thing, Relax your jaw and your pelvis and let's go to the night place... What? RED ALERT! RED ALERT!, Resist or Serve, Russian freighter, Scully Loses, Second Elder, Sin Eater, Some Vampire sends Mulder a mysterious red envelope and he's not gonna be all over it? C'mon Tammy that is ridic, Stop laughing at your friend in the hospital you fucking weirdo, Tammy Ginader, Team Spender, Terry O'Quinn, The Big "S" Trio: Spender. Scully. Stingray., The Bounty Hunter, The Pretender, The Red and the Black, The resistance, The Syndicate, The truth is in you, The Well-Manicured Man, Third Elder, This is how all of Claire's Fan Fictions start, Veronica Cartwright, Walter Skinner, Well-Manicured Man, Whammy Awards, WHY IS HE ADJUSTING HER BED?!?!, Wiekamp Air Force Base, William B. Davis, Willy Ross, Winter Solstice Champions, X-Files, xfiles, Young Jeffrey Spender

Ian joins us for 4×14 “Memento Mori”. Scully decides to fight her cancer by moving into a hospital. Scully then decides to fight her cancer by moving out of the hospital. Also: Hybrid clones, conspiracies, Lone Gunmen, and horrific Chris Carter Monologues. In Millennium 1×13 “Force Majeure” we seemingly get a mythology episode that makes no sense at all but is still incredibly delightful thanks to the antics of the Millennium Group’s wacky tag-along neighbor played by Brad Dourif.

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Where we will never steal your voice in exchange for cancer treatment.

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Listen to Episode 4×14 – 2:59:42

Tags: " The luminous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal... threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth; but only in it's passage.", "I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other. " --SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?, Aryan Dreams, Babylon 5, Baywatch Nights, Best dressed/worst dressed, Brad Cupples, Brad Dourif, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Cancer, Carlin, Catherine Black, CCH Pounder, Cheryl Andrews, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, clipper chip, clone, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Lovgren, Dean Haglund, Dennis Hoffman, DNA, Don't drink that snowglobe, Down Below Podcast, Dr. Kevin Scanlon, Face Off, Face Stealing, Fanfic, Flower Stealing, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Frozen Out of Time, George, Gillian Anderson, Gillian Barber, Grey-haired bullets, human ova, Hybrids, Hypnosis, I Dream of George, Ian Swallow, introtox, introtox.com, Iron Lung Man, Iron Lung Man: The least exciting superhero ever, It turns out Chris Carter's wife is professional high-end snowglobe maker, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Shiban, Jordan Black, Julie Bond, Kristi Angus, Krycek, Kurt Crawford, Lance Henriksen, Lauren, Least snappy snappy dresser ever, Margaret Scully, Mark Snow, Maura, Megan Gallagher, Melvin Frohike, Memento Mori, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, Morgan Woodward, Morris Panych, Mufon, Mulder's Geanie, nasopharyngeal cancer, Nisei, Noah's Ark, Novelty Snow Globe Fetish, Paper Clip, Penny Northern, Pennywise, Peter Watts, Planetary Alignment, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Rob Bowman, Robin Burdge, sad beard, Sarah Strange, Sean Allen, Sheila Larken, Sheriff Camden, So many bad wigs, Stonehenge Apocalypse, Super Ovulation, Tammy Ginader, Terry O'Quinn, The Grey-Haired Man, The Little Mermaid, The Lone Gunmen, The note I wrote after the opening monologue before pausing the episode to empty a bottle of scotch: "well its not going to get worse. right?", The Odd Couple, The opening monologue is so goddamn horrible I had to stop watching the episode, The Woman, There's not enough genetic diversity with these clones to reseed the planet, Timothy Webber, Tom Braidwood, Trippleshot Bypass, Unfrozen Viking Warriors, Ursula, Vegreville, Vince Gilligan, Walter Skinner, When will Millennium introduce rock monsters, Why is this creepo carrying around a vial of eggs?, William B. Davis, Worst Hacker, WTF is happening, X-Files, xfiles

Ina joins us at our favorite sweet potato pie restaurant to discuss Darin Morgan’s final episode ‘José Chung’s From Outer Space.’ This ep has the greatest cast ever and enough plot to fill all three kitchen sinks that are wedged into it. It’s wackier than the actual thoughts going through Jesse Ventura’s head at any given time.

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Where the illuminati will force you to phrase your answer in the form of a question.

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Listen to Episode 3×20 – 1:56:51

Tags: 9/11, A little too red, Alex Diakun, Alex Trebek, alien abduction, Alien Autopsy, Alien Cigarette Smoking, Allan Zinyk, America's insane drug policies and horrific criminal justice system, Beaker's Ovaltine Dinner, Best Cast Ever, Big Brother, Bill Murray, Blaine Faulkner, Blaine is the worst person that's ever been on this show and possibly the worst human that has ever been imagined, Cabinet of Caligari, Charles Nelson Reilly, Chris Carter, Chrissy, Clarissa Explains It All, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura, Dana Scully, Daniel Quinn, Darin Morgan, date rape, David Duchovny, Detective Manners, Diana Lesky, Dr. Fingers, Dr. Hand, Dungeons & Dragons, Dungeons and Dragons, El Cajon California, Fire in the Sky, Fox Mulder, Fuck you Scully for your ridiculous arbitrarily language censorship, Gibberish, Gillian Anderson, Harold, Harold is a super creep, Harold might be a werewolf now, HOW DO YOU NOT REALIZE YOU ARE CUTTING INTO AN ALIEN COSTUME?!?!, Hypnosis, inner space, Inside out and backwards clothing is just a bit too much. Why even bother redressing someone at that point?, Jaap Broeker, Jason Gaffney, Jeopardy, Jesse Ventura, Jose Chung, José Chung's From Outer Space, Klass County, Larry Musser, Lavamen, Lieutenant Jack Schaefer, Lord Kimboate, Lord Kinbote, Man in Black, Mandroid, Manimals, Mayor at the time Governor of the Manimals in reality, men in black, Michael Dobson, MK Ultra, Mulder masturbates to bigfoot porn and dreams of the Jersey Devil, non-fiction science fiction, Pale Fire, Patterson-Gimlin Film, Philip J. Klass, Plum Island, post-abduction syndrome, Reynard Muldrake, Rob Bowman, Roky Crikenson, Sadsack Grey, Sarah Sawatsky, Sargeant Hynek Mina E. Mina, Somebody punch this nerd and shove him in a goddamn locker already, Space: Above and Beyond, Sweet Potato Pie, The Manchurian Candidate, The Match Game, The military/industrial/entertainment complex, The music is mad kooky in this ep, The Reptillian Conspiracy, These 33 year olds weren't ready for sex, This is not happening, Twin Peaks, Ummm maybe calm all the rape talk down a bit, wikibigfeet.com, William Lucking, Worst autopsy doctor EVER!, Yappi, YES WE DO KNOW WHAT HYPNOSIS IS, Yo bitch take care of that gross bloody nose

Hooray! Evangeline joins us to discuss ‘Pusher,’ the first competently written episode in some time. We are reunited with one of our favorite actors ever and The Stingray is revealed to have superpowers.

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Where the Wacky Mustache Man is always a Hero!

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Listen to Episode 3×17 – 1:45:31

Tags: 'I don't know... maybe it's an aspect of some Eastern martial art. You know... a specific alteration of the brain's chemistry caused by some specific timbre or cadence in Modell's voice.' --->WHAT?, 2Shy's future victim, Acutely Egocentric, Admitted sex-addict/script editor David Duchovny, Agent Collins, Agent Frank Burst, American Ronin, An inoperable brain tumor that takes up over half of the brain, Best Extra Ever!, Big Coat, Brad Cupples, Brain Tumor, Brent Sheppard, Carbo Boost, cerulean, Cerulean Blue, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Contest For Wacky Mustache Man Fanfic, D. Neil Mark, Dana Scully, Darren Lucas, Dave Grohl... whoever the fuck that is, David Duchovny, Defense Attorney, Depravity Rampant, Deputy Scott Kerber, DO NOT LET MULDER ON THE STAND, Don MacKay, Doug Hutchinson, Ernie Foort, Evangeline Spachis, Evangeline's poor dying dvd, Firestarter, Flukie the Flukeman, Fox Mulder, Fresh Bones, FUCK THE LETTER Q!, Gillian Anderson, Girl raised by squirrel, girlonfilmsite, Gorilla Marriage, Harvey Firestein, Heart attack, Holly, How does this clue make sense? Did they even look at the yellow pages?, Hypnosis, I do not trust you people, introtox, introtox.com, It's easier to digitally fix a sign than to change the name of the city in the titles, It's somewhat rude to ask about the giant awful bruise on someone's face Scully, Judge, Julia Arkos, Kim Manners, Lemmings, Locals Only, Louden County, Loudoun county, Made ya look, Mel Cooley, Meredith Bain Woodward, Miami Connection, Mind Powers, Mitch Pileggi, Mt. Foodmore, Mulder's Genie, Mulder's Mom cockblocks the monster prosecuion everytime, Mulder... No. Mulder... YES!, Ninjas, ninor is ronin spelled backwards... continuing the writers obsession with backwards words (see redwop), Oodles and the Whammy: On the beat!, Original Sin teaches us no one is innocent. ---> FUCK THAT SHIT. Christianity is repulsive and inherently immoral, Orlando Party 2014, OSU, Prosecutor, Psychic Paper, Pusher, Robert Patrick Modell, Robert Wisden, Robin Burdge, Roger R. Cross, Russian Roulette, Scully can't deal with Skinner being beat up by a girl, Scully does CPR instead of making snap judgements, Secret FBI velcro patches, self immolation, So... hows that fear of fire going Mulder?, Steve Bacic, Stingray, Stingray is immune to hypnosis, Swat Lieutenant, Tammy Ginader, tanker truck, teetotaler, Terrifying burns, The Deer Hunter, The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Whammy, The Where's Waldo of X-Files, Tiny Robin, tumblr of shame, Vic Polizos, Vince Gilligan, Wacky Mustache Man, Walter Skinner, Why not just take the phone away from your ear, X-Files, xfiles, Yellow Pages, Yo Holly? By 'They' do you mean 'We', You cannot get from repeating a word to hypnosis powers. It is not possible, zippo lighter