Amanda and Matt join us to discuss the second film “The X-Files: I Want To Believe” In which Chris Carter tries to make us sympathize with a magical child molester… seriously. The fears of a middle-aged heterosexual male baby boomer are on full display. Also apparently everybody forgot that Mulder broke out of prison where he was on death row for murder.

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Where we don’t sympathize with child molesters no matter how magical they are.

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Listen to I Want To Believe – 2:55:57

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Go to your nearest cyber-cafe and download Episode 9×06 – “Trust No 1″ in which Terry O’Quinn AKA Terrence Quinn AKA Peter/Jerry/Edgar Watts AKA Omar Santiago tries to catch Scully in an old-fashioned Sadsack-Turtleneck-Trap so that he can kill Mulder. He later explodes because of iron… or something. Also we finally figure out the deal with Reyes.

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Where we don’t let strangers sleep in the same room with our babies.

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Listen to Episode 9×06 – 1:21:47

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Heidi and DJ Jon Jonny J Jonathon are here to help us discuss 7×08 – “The Amazing Maleeni” Wherein some asshole magicians pull a heist, Mulder sends an innocent man to prison, and Scully continues to have the worst taste in men. Harsh Ream 1×04 “Enter Shitty Title Here” is somehow even less significant than usual.

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Where we all are ready to follow General Pennywise in the great war against the Magicians.

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Listen to Episode 7×08 – 1:39:49

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Episode 7×04 – Millennium

August 11th, 2015

Join us as we say goodbye to the single greatest criminal profiler ever. Chris joins us as we discuss the lackluster 7×04 “Millennium” in which a Millennium Group rando decides to make four (and only four) zombies to bring about the end times. Luckily/unluckily Frank Black is able to save Mulder from his complete incompetence.

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Where Frank Black will always be our favorite Dragon.

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Listen to Episode 7×04 – 1:46:49

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Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

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It’s time for the first X-Files movie. Matt joins us to discuss bees, herda hada yokel kids, and the proper etiquette for borrowing a friend’s clothing. We learn that if you forget the mythology up to this point and ignore the definitions of words it makes much more sense. We also have the greatest theme tune ever, a special surprise visit via explanatory monologue, and the reading of the contest winning fanfic.

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Where we Fight. Fight. Fight the Future.

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Listen to Fight The Future – 2:46:32

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Episode 5×17 – All Souls

January 14th, 2015

Emmy and Ina join us for 5×17 “All Souls” in which half-human deformed angel babies are viciously murdered by the most ridiculous cgi angel ever and Scully remembers she had a kid for a minute.
In Millennium 2×17 “Siren” Frank is offered the chance to make a deal with a Japanese sea monster.

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Where angels can go fuck themselves.

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Listen to Episode 5×17 – 1:57:17

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Episode 5×09 – Schizogeny

November 19th, 2014

It’s “Blame The Interns” Week on X-Files as Ian and Matt join us to discuss Episode 5×09 – “Schizogeny” in which the Lorax defeats Norman Bates-esque woman with questionable fashion accessories. On Millennium we discuss the amazing Darin Morgan episode 2×09 “Jose Chung’s ‘Doomsday Defense'”

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Where we have the correct vowels in our names.

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Listen to Episode 5×09 – 2:06:00

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Episode 5×07 – Emily

November 6th, 2014

Evangeline is here to help us bury Scully’s dead monster-garbage-baby in 5×07 “Emily”. It somehow goes out of it’s way to be mad boring and brings an unmissed David Duchovny back into the show. Millennium 2×07 “19:19″
is a creepy delight with crazy kid snatching Jeezos and Kristen Cloke.

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Where the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

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Listen to Episode 5×07 – 2:11:26

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Episode 5×04 – Detour

October 15th, 2014

DJ Johnny Jon Jon and Matt B join us for the insanity that is 5×04 “Detour” A super kooky romp through the swamp with Mark from RENT and conquistador monsters. No joke, that’s for serious what’s going on here whether you guys are willing to accept it or not. Magic. Conquistador. Monsters. Also we discuss Millennium 2×04 “Monster” which features the triumphant return of Kristen Cloke!

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Where Teliko watches over us all.

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Listen to Episode 5×04 – 1:32:46

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