Amanda and Matt join us to discuss the second film “The X-Files: I Want To Believe” In which Chris Carter tries to make us sympathize with a magical child molester… seriously. The fears of a middle-aged heterosexual male baby boomer are on full display. Also apparently everybody forgot that Mulder broke out of prison where he was on death row for murder.

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Where we don’t sympathize with child molesters no matter how magical they are.

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Listen to I Want To Believe – 2:55:57

Tags: 1st Abductor, 2nd Abductor, 2nd Victim, Abduction, Adam Godley, Agent Mosley Drummy, Alex Diakun, Amanda can be found right here in THESE VERY TAGS! ...when not lurking on red carpets, Amanda Peet, ASAC Dakota Whitney, based on tv series, Billy Connolly, Blair Fearon, bleeding from eyes, Body Swapping Surgery, Brad Cupples, brain disease, Bullfrog Andy, Callum Keith Rennie, Carrie Ruscheinsky, Catchy songs that you shouldn't be caught singing in public near police officials, catholic, Catholicism, Cheryl Cunningham, ChiMo Joe, Chris Carter, Christian Fearon, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, Darin Morgan's BFF, David Duchovny, Denis Krasnogolov, dismemberment, Elderly Gent, Fagin Woodcock, falling from height, Father Joseph Crissman, Father Ybarra, fbi, Feed Store Proprietor, Female Assistant, Fox Mulder, Frank Spotnitz, Franz Tomczeszyn, Fuck Chris Carter, Gaunt Man, Gillian Anderson, googling a broad topic and printing 4 pieces of paper is all you need to do experimental brain surgery, Gross, Head Transplant, HoopleCast, human experimentation, I Want To Believe, ice bath, introtox, introtox.com, Janke Dacyshyn, Lucy Butler, Luke Cage, magical child molester, Male Assistant, Marco Niccoli, Margaret Fearon, Matt Asendorf, Matt is Wrong About Games, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Bannan, need surgery? Ask Jeeves!, Nicki Aycox, Novelization, nun, organ harvesting, Patrick Keating, pedophile, pedophile priest, Premiere, Priest, psychic, psychic vision, RIP Thumbs-Up Dog, Roger Horchow, russian, Sarah-Jane Redmond, sequel, severed arm, severed head, sex offender, Slight Man, snowplow, Sometimes one woman in a refridgerator in a scene just isn't enough, SpartaCast, Spencer Maybee, staff physician, stem cell therapy, Stem Cells, Stephen E. Miller, Still waiting for that Werewolf, Stingray, Tammy Ginader, The Defenders Podcast, This is dumb, title spoken by character, Two-Headed Dog, Veronika Hadrava, Walter Skinner, Werewolves, what did we get stuck in our rectums, Why the fuck are they calling him 'Father', X-Files, Xantha Radley, xfiles, Xzibit

Go to your nearest cyber-cafe and download Episode 9×06 – “Trust No 1″ in which Terry O’Quinn AKA Terrence Quinn AKA Peter/Jerry/Edgar Watts AKA Omar Santiago tries to catch Scully in an old-fashioned Sadsack-Turtleneck-Trap so that he can kill Mulder. He later explodes because of iron… or something. Also we finally figure out the deal with Reyes.

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Where we don’t let strangers sleep in the same room with our babies.

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Listen to Episode 9×06 – 1:21:47

Tags: 4D, Agent Edie Boal, Allison Smith, Annabeth Gish, Baby William, Boring, Brad Cupples, Brianne Prather, Chris Carter, Chris Carter is the worst, Claire Laffar, cyber cafe, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dinky Bacon, Drunk Reyes, Edgar Watts, Fitz Houston, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck Mulder, Gillian Anderson, Hotmail, introtox, introtox.com, James Riker, Jerry Watts, John Doggett, Kathryn Joosten, Less exciting than ironing shirts, Letters form the Harsh Realm, Man on the Street, Monica Reyes, Omar Santiago, Patti, Peter Watts, Princess and the Frog, RIP internet cafes 2000-2002, Robert Patrick, Sesame Street, Shadow Man, Sir Terrence of Quinn, so much filler, Station Manager, Steven Flynn, Tammy Ginader, Terrance Quinn, Terry O'Quinn, Tony Wharmby, Travis Riker, Trust No 1, Turtleneck, ummm X-Files? Mulder is just not that into you, X-Files, xfiles, Young Woman

Heidi and DJ Jon Jonny J Jonathon are here to help us discuss 7×08 – “The Amazing Maleeni” Wherein some asshole magicians pull a heist, Mulder sends an innocent man to prison, and Scully continues to have the worst taste in men. Harsh Ream 1×04 “Enter Shitty Title Here” is somehow even less significant than usual.

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Where we all are ready to follow General Pennywise in the great war against the Magicians.

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Listen to Episode 7×08 – 1:39:49

Tags: Albert Pinchbeck, amusement park, Antonio Salieri, applause, Are you OK Scully? Yikes, armored car, Autopsy Museum, Bank Officer, Billy LaBonge, Bob the Caretaker, Brad Cupples, Bullethead, camcorder, card trick, CastleCast, celebracadabra, Chris Carter, Cissy Alvarez, Claire Laffar, Clowns, Clowns v Magicians, Courier-Guard, cups and balls trick, Dana Scully, David Copperfield, David Duchovny, David Mamet, Dennis Keiffer, Don't touch people's noses it's gross, Dr. Funnbone, electronic money transfer, Employee, ferris wheel, Fox Mulder, framed for robbery, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck Magicians, gambling debt, Gillian Anderson, Giovanni Bartolomeo Bosco, glock 17, Harsh Realm, Harsh Realm is garbage, Hats filled with animal excrement, Heidi Jenkins, Herman Pinchbeck, introtox, introtox.com, J. David, John Shiban, Jon ≠ a Magician, Jonathan Levit, Jonathon Pope, king of diamonds, Long Con, magic trick, Magical Chump, Magicans are the worst, Magician, Magician Memories, man in a wheelchair, Mark Chaet, Max Malini, mini van, misdirection, Mulder is an idiot, Mulder sends an innocent man to prison, neck brace, prestidigitation, Ricky Jay, Robert LaSardo, Rules of Engagement, Scully has the worst taste in dude, severed head, Sherri Howard, Smug thieves, Steven Barr, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terrible CGI, The Amazing Maleeni, The Magician, The Pretender, THE WORST, The Worst Dudes, The worst heckler, They did not stop them, Thomas J. Wright, title spoken by character, tuxedo, twin brother, U.S. Prisons are not a safe place for a man named cissy, Vince Gilligan, Windows 10 ghosts, Wizards, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, X-Files, xfiles, year 1795, Young Boss

Join us as we say goodbye to the single greatest criminal profiler ever. Chris joins us as we discuss the lackluster 7×04 “Millennium” in which a Millennium Group rando decides to make four (and only four) zombies to bring about the end times. Luckily/unluckily Frank Black is able to save Mulder from his complete incompetence.

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Where Frank Black will always be our favorite Dragon.

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Listen to Episode 7×04 – 1:46:49

Tags: "But what if it were true? Good and Evil which would prevail?" #TheWorst, 1999, 2000, A Palin Horse, Becky Crouch - Widow, bible quote, Brad does not condone the use of the word 'Necromonger' in any context. Claire please secretly edit this out of the podcast, Brittany Tiplady, Cellphone out of service, cemetery, Chester Bonaparte, Chip Johannessen, Chris Carter, Chris JC, Colonel Tiny Eyes, crossover, crossover episode, Custody battle, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Detective Sandwich, Dick Clark, Do not go into a basement with a door baricade, Doctor Who, Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour Podcast, DON'T EAT SALT OFF THE GROUND, Doug, Dragon, Fighting Irish, Florida is a nightmare swamp in hell, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Fun Facts, funeral home, Geanie, Gillian Anderson, Golden Eagles, grave, Gun, Harsh Realm, Holmes Osborne, How popular was this Homeless man?, Joe & Chris Do a Thing, Jordan Black, ladder, Lance Henriksen, Lucy Butler, Marilyn McIntyre, Mark Johnson, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, necromancy, new year's eve, No Holds Barred, Nurse Octavia, Octavia Spencer, Owls and Roosters, Press Gang, Protective Circle, quotation from revelations, returning from the dead, Revelation, Risque Business, salt, Seriously if you haven't watched Hard Target... get on it. It's on youtube, Shallow Grave, shot multiple times, Something Blue, Sports Facts, Suicide, tallahassee florida, Taxidermist, Tell us your Chris Carter Secrets, The Color of Night, The Doug Files, The Man... The Voice... The Legend, The Millennium Group, The NecROMANCER, The Old Man, The Visitor, This is sooo boring, Thomas J. Wright, Thumbs-Up Dog, title spoken by character, Video Tech, Vince Gilligan, Walter Skinner, Why didn't you keep track of where the KILLER ZOMBIES are hiding?, Why was that guy buried 30 feet underground?, ‎THE LAST WORD: A Press Gang Introcast with Chris and Alirio

Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

Tags: "I'm ready to J-O-B just not on some jagoff shoeshine tip", "Yo Homestyle cough up the rock", A case of the yips, Agent Diana Fowley, Agent Emma Hollis, Al Ruscio, Alex Krycek, Aliens, Alirio Ferreira, Angie WATCH YOUR BACK. #RougeCop #SeeSomethingSaySomething, Arson, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bad Girls, Basketball, Basketball Player, Basketball Sweaters, Brad Cupples, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bullfrog Andy is like a less interesting Boss Hogg, Canada, Candy-Apple, Candygram, Cassandra is the worst, Cassandra Spender, CastleCast, Check n' Spender, Chester George Barnabus Spender, China, Chris Carter, Chris Carter Monologues, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Conspiracy, Damon P. Saleem, David Duchovny, Department of Justice, Don S. Williams, Don't taste white powder found in envelopes, Dr. Eugene Openshaw, Et tu Stingray?, Exposition George, FBI Agent, Fifth Elder, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, First Elder, Flukie - Gold Medal Olympian, Fourth Elder, Frank Black Klea Scott, Frank Ertl, Frank Spotnitz, Frank turns into a dragon to escape an exploding building, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greg Evigan, Heidi Jenkins, Heroin, Hey Hollis? why are you cloaking out?, Hey transcript writers... are you OK?, Hollis is the worst, How did you get your clothes?, How is Diana still awake?, Human Essence, Humanzees, I'm pretty sure Chris Carter's version of "The Godfather" is closer to Corky Romano, In what way do they look like monsters?, introtox, introtox.com, Jeff Spender: American Hero and Champion of the Taxpayer, Jeffrey Spender, Kersh, Kill Switch, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, LEAVE SPENDER ALONE, Milk, Millennium, Mimi Rogers, Mitch Pileggi, Monsters, Mr. Ho, Mulder and Scully might have gotten fired... AGAIN, Mulder is NOT a special snowflake, My Two Dads, Mythology, Nicholas Lea, Nick Tate, Nopenheimer, Nopenshaw, Paul Reiser, Paul Reiser and the other guy, Peter Outerbridge, Pizza Guy, Pool, PotentialCast, Powerpoint, Previously on, Racism, Relax your jaw and your pelvis, Samaria Graham, Scully's Short Skirt, Second Elder, Sexy Lego Robot Guard, So... you don't have evidence then..., Soooo apparently Krycek and Spender are immune to the extremely toxic alien blood, Special Agent Barry Baldwin Stephen E. Miller, Spender > Luke Skywalker, Stephen Chang, Stop being a dick to Spender, Stop smoking IN THE HOSPITAL, Take him to his damn mother already, Tammy Ginader, Tamra Caffrey, That is not what hybrid means, The cliffhanger of this episode rests on if you think Mulder might murder an innocent defenseless old woman, The Iron Sheik, The Pretender, The Proffessor SAT DOWN!, The Truth Out There, The X-Files, They had cleaned up the mythology and then they jump full force into all the awful garbage mythology, This doesn't make sense at all, This episode is brought you by hotmail: for when you don't really need your mail, Those faces rip off very easily, Trust no one, Two Fathers, Valerie Pettiford, Veronica Cartwright, Who are the two fathers?, Why aren't we working with the Rebels?, Why is everybody treating Spender like crap?, Why is Mulder hiding?, Why would shapeshifters need to mutilate their orifices, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, You should not use the same nickname for your girlfriend as your sister. That is weird.

It’s time for the first X-Files movie. Matt joins us to discuss bees, herda hada yokel kids, and the proper etiquette for borrowing a friend’s clothing. We learn that if you forget the mythology up to this point and ignore the definitions of words it makes much more sense. We also have the greatest theme tune ever, a special surprise visit via explanatory monologue, and the reading of the contest winning fanfic.

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Where we Fight. Fight. Fight the Future.

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Listen to Fight The Future – 2:46:32

Tags: 1998, 2shy did it first, A lot of Bees in a Scully Suit, Alex Jones, Aliens don't need starbucks, Alvin Kurtzweil, Amani, American Gothic, Americans cannot handle Roundabouts, An Old-Fashioned Monkeyshiner, Anti-vaxxers bringing back preventable disease... That's one way to bring the future to its knees, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Bees, Ben Bronschweig, Bill Mulder Choose Samantha to survive, Black Oil, Black-Haired Man Jason Beghe, Blackwood County, Blythe Danner, Bruce Harwood, Cavemen, charging box, Children of the Corn, Chris Carter, Chris Carter explains the mythology for four minutes, Chris is a hero, Cigarette Smoking Man, Conrad Strughold, Conspiracies, Cool Drinks, Dale from The Walking Dead, Darius Michaud, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dirtwater Kids, Disposable Orphans AKA Orphans, Djinn, Don S. Williams, Don't piss on buildings with friends, E.T., Fanfiction, Fellow Travellers, FEMA, Fight The Future, Fight. Fight. Fight the Future, Fighting the future, First Elder, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck People, George, George has a spaceship office, George Murdock, Gillian Anderson, Greatest Theme Tune EVER, H.R. Giger Mat Paintings, herda hada yokel kids, How did he stumble into finding Scully's clothes... wait... how did he even find Scully?, How did they get to/fro Antarctica?, How is Krycek not in the movie, How many alien groups are there?, How would the colonist use/control the black oil at all assuming they are different species, If FEMA is the secret govenment why do you have to coverup things at a YOUR office, Independence Day, Infect with black oil cook to 500° for 35 min let scary monster erupt from chest, Jana Cassidy, Jeffrey De Munn, Jerry Watts, Jerry Watts death is Mulder's fault, Jesse Ventura, John Fitzgerald Byers, John Neville, Kermit the Frog, Knockout bees, Like a time capsule android programmed to shoot ya... That's one way to fight the future, Little Travellers, Live Tweets from Tammy, Locale Latin Cabaret References, London England, Long Con, Lucas Black, Mark Snow... are you ok?, Martin Landau, Melvin Frohike, Michael Shamus Wiles, Mitch Pileggi, Monkeyshines, Monsanto Monsanto Monsanto, Mr. Mulder PULL THE STRINGS! PULL THE STRINGS!, Mulan, Mulder could solve so many X-Files if he spent as much time looking at family photos as he does the National Enquirer, Mulder gets shot in the head at point blank range, Mulder's Genie, Murder by Numbers, Mustache Acting, No chatting whilst urinating, Orphan Children, Panic Face, Plinky-plonky music, PolarVortex, Rabid Hungry Orphans, Rent-An-Orphan, Richard Langly, Rob Bowman, Second Elder, Secret Chris Carter Explanatory Monologue Interruptions, Secret Government, Smash your smartphone and burn your "computure", Smilla's Sense of Snow, So we're just redoing the begining of season two?, Special Agent Dana Scully, Special Agent Fox Mulder, Spooky, Stay-Puft Marshmellow Boobs, Stevie Richardson, Stingray, Stop playing with skulls you dirtwater monster, Sunflower Seeds, T.C., Tammy Memories, Teliko, Teliko is a party dude, Teliko Riding on a Bee is clearly a stingray shipper, Tell. Don't Show: The Legacy of Chris Carter, Terry O'Quinn, Texas, That creepo alien umbilical cord was gross, That's your friends coat you asshole! Don't throw it in a gutter, The CDC, The Ghost of Christmas Future, The Lone Gunmen, The Matrix, The Office of Professional Review, The Pretender, There are sooo many things that bees DO pollinate could they pick one of those to use, There's no way for them to be blamed for this, There's only one grain that we make spooky mazes out of, These Plans don't make sense, This Cover-up doesn't make sense, This is bonkers, Tom Braidwood, Trigger Warning: Matt briefly mentions the 9/11 of humans: Jack Black at the 1:59:15 mark, Troll 2, UFO, Ummm... bees don't pollinate corn, Unnecessary Suicides, Vaccine, Well-Manicured Man, What is the deal with the cornfields, Why are the aliens in this movie just scary monsters?, Why would you make a deal with these aliens?, William B. Davis, Words that they use wrong: Clone. Hybrid. Vaccine. Virus., X-Files The Movie: Fight The Future, You want evidence? Here have a bee.

Emmy and Ina join us for 5×17 “All Souls” in which half-human deformed angel babies are viciously murdered by the most ridiculous cgi angel ever and Scully remembers she had a kid for a minute.
In Millennium 2×17 “Siren” Frank is offered the chance to make a deal with a Japanese sea monster.

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Where angels can go fuck themselves.

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Listen to Episode 5×17 – 1:57:17

Tags: 5&2, A Decade of Dirty Delinquents, Aaron Starkey, Allen Coulter, And how many cases of "Struck down by gods" have you observed?, Angels, Apocrypha, Arnie Walters, baptism, Beverly Marsh, Bob Wilde, Brittany Tiplady, Captain Youfook Law, Catherine Black, Catholicism, Cherubim, Chris Carter, Christianity is gross, Clearly these girls were vampires, Commercial Break, Congenital Spinal Deformity, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deadlights, Demons, Detective Bob Giebelhouse, Detective Sandwich, Devils, Don't Baptise People that are not capable to consent, Easter, Emily, Emily Perkins, Eric Keenleyside, Evil Ginger, Father Gregory, Father McCue, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, George Vincent Dyer, Gillian Anderson, Glenn Morshower, God is a dick, Gross, Hey magic sky god? If part of your plan involves angels raping women and then letting them die in childbirth so that they can deliver 4 half-human disabled babies that you will leave eventually get ar, How exactly does this priest differentiate reality from "just stories"?, I can't wait for the episode in which Orko and Mechaneck are murdering people, I might have to side with the demons on this one, I stopped this ep so many times, If Scully and Mulder had not been involved NOTHING would have been different, Japanese sea monsters, Jeezo, Jody Racicot, John Shiban, Jordan Black, Kristen Cloke, Lance Henriksen, Lance Kernof, Lara Means, Last minute effects, Lauren Diewold, Lion Mask, Lorraine Landry, Man-E-Faces, Megan Gallagher, Millennium, Mrs. Kernoff, Nephilim, Nonsense, One more week to send that Fanfiction in if you want to be on the movie ep, Patti Allan, Pennywise the Clown, Peter Watts, polydactyl, quadruplet, Religion, Ricky Cheng, Scrapbooks, Scully Loses, Secret Squirrel, Seraphim, Serephim, Shadows with horns? Really?, Siren, Smite, Smote, So are we supposed to be rooting for the murdering rapist angels?, Somewhere out there, St. Peter, Stephen James Lang, Stephen King's IT, Super Dick, Supernatural, Talbot, Tamara Shui Fa Lee, Technology versus Horse, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, the faces of a man an eagle a lion and... Swamp Thing? A Scarecrow? A wet paperbag?, the Nephilim, The Pretender, the Sergeant, The Slayerettes Podcast, There is always time for shoes, There's a chance Scully might give birth to Nephalim in 9 months, This ep needed more Aronofsky Rock Monsters, Tim O'Halloran, Tracy Elofson, Tzi Ma, Vicki Belon, Vivian Wu, Werewolf cats, What is your creepo cult church sign Dawg?, What was this slacker doing for 16 yrs, Whimsical Angel Rape, Worst CGI Ever, Yee Chun

It’s “Blame The Interns” Week on X-Files as Ian and Matt join us to discuss Episode 5×09 – “Schizogeny” in which the Lorax defeats Norman Bates-esque woman with questionable fashion accessories. On Millennium we discuss the amazing Darin Morgan episode 2×09 “Jose Chung’s ‘Doomsday Defense'”

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Where we have the correct vowels in our names.

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Listen to Episode 5×09 – 2:06:00

Tags: Alec Willows, American Mary, Apparently X-Files takes place in Nancy Grace World where all minors are tried as adults, Arbitrary Language Censorship, Baby Boomers have a perpetual priapistic JFK boner, Bob Dawson, Bobby Rich, Brad Cupples, CamoHouse, Catfish, Chad Lindberg, Charles Nelson Reilly, Chief of Police Sandwich, Child Abuse, Christin Anton, Claire is a scaredy cat, Claire Laffar, Conquistadors, Corn can eat a dick, Coroner, Cynde Harmon, Dan Zukovic, David Duchovny, DaVinci's Inquest DaVinci's City Hall, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective KimmyGibblerhouse Darin Morgan, Detective Sandwich, Detective Twohey, Doctor Who, Dorkweed?, Down Below Podcast, Eugene Baiocchi, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Freddy vs Jason, Fuck Babyboomers, Gardiner Millar, George Josef, Gillian Anderson, Ginger Snaps, Groot, Hannibal, How could a tony twig get into a body that fell to the ground where twigs might normally be found, How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town, I don't got no books, I know The Evil Mindu, I speak for the trees, Intern Week, Interstellar, introtox, introtox.com, Joey Agostino, John Ramirez, John Shiban, Jose Chung, Juggernaut Onan Goopta, Karin and Teena should get together and trade some vowels, Karin Matthews, Kate Robbins, Katharine Isabelle, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Murdoch, Linda Baiocchi, Lisa Baiocchi, Lorax, Lucy Butler, Michael Jackson's "Earth Song" is almost 7 minutes long... spoiler alert guess what is NOT at the end of this episode, Millennium, Mr. Smooth, Murray Rabinovitch, Myles Ferguson, Norman Bates, Nostradamus Nutball, Nutball?!, Patrick Fabian, Patti Rich, Peter Watts, Phil Rich, Psycho, Ratfinkovich, Richard Steinmetz, Robbinski, Roving Freelance Criminal Profiler, Rubehhhh!, Rubes, Sandra Steier, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Schindler's List Deer Hunting, Scientology, Scott Owen, selfosophy, Shade vs Maze, Should we be asking this axe wielding murderer for ID?, Slenderman Games, Small unnecessary scenes, Smiling Testicle Dragon Punch, So... is the Lorax a ghost? Is it her father?, Special Profiling Powers, Stephen J. Lang, Super Questionable Alternate Monologues, Supernatural, SwampThing, Tammy Ginader, Tammy is the Columbo of hair ribbons, Teacher, teleportation, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Lorax, therapist/social worker, This was the first show to mix normally spelled names with idiotically spelled names, Unnamed Deadwood Podcast 2015, Unnamed Strangers with Candy Podcast 20??, Was her Father The Comedian?, Watch Millennium, Web of Queer Podcast, Who doesn't love Terry O'Quinn's Moustache?, Why did they dig up that grave, Why was he digging a grave in his front yard, X-Files, xfiles

Evangeline is here to help us bury Scully’s dead monster-garbage-baby in 5×07 “Emily”. It somehow goes out of it’s way to be mad boring and brings an unmissed David Duchovny back into the show. Millennium 2×07 “19:19”
is a creepy delight with crazy kid snatching Jeezos and Kristen Cloke.

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Where the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

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Listen to Episode 5×07 – 2:11:26

Tags: "I'm sick of Tim Curry sneaking into this country and taking my jobs" --Wilford Brimley, 19:19, Anna Fugazzi, Annie, Bill Scully Jr., Bob Morrisey, Brad Cupples, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Chris Carter hired upwards of four teenage poets as assistants to punch-up X-Files monologues, Christian Hoff, Christmas Carol, Claire Laffar, clone, Colleen Rennison, Cuckoo-Banana-Pants Indeed, David Abbott, David Duchovny, dead babies, Detective Kresge, Dr. Ernest Calderon, Dr. Vinet, Emily Sim, Evangeline, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Frohike, Gerard Plunkett, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, How Dumb is Mulder, Hybrids, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, Jarbaby, Jessica Cayce, John Pyper-Ferguson, John Shiban, Judge Maibaum, Karri Turner, Kid snatching, Kim Manners, Kristen Cloke, Lance Henriksen, Lara Means, Last Tango in Halifax, Lauren Diewold, Lazy Plot Conveniences, Life with Louie, Louie Anderson, Margaret Scully, Matthew Prine, Melvin Frohike, Millennium, Millennium Minute, Miss Hannigan, Mulder spends roughly half of his time finding vials with Scully's name on it, nothingness, old ladies having babies, Pat Skipper, Patricia Dahlquist, Peter Watts, Potato Drawings, Radom.org, Sandman, Sheila Larken, Sheila Patterson, Sheriff John Cayce, Shockingly little conflict, Steven Rankin, Susan Chambliss, Tammy Ginader, Tara Scully, Terry O'Quinn, That's not what a Mr. Potato Head looks like at all, The Federal Bureau of Imagination, The San Diego Hall of Justice, There is nothing for Scully to do in this episode except be tortured, There's never a time to be walking on sand, They let Scully have a kid less time than she had a dog, This show actively tries to make us think the leads are morons, Thomas J. Wright, Tim Curry, Tom Braidwood, Tornado, Twister, Vince Gilligan, Whimsical Rape, WHY DOESN'T HE KNOW WHERE HE IS? HE WENT THERE TWICE., Wilford Brimley, Willy Wonka, X-Files, xfiles

DJ Johnny Jon Jon and Matt B join us for the insanity that is 5×04 “Detour” A super kooky romp through the swamp with Mark from RENT and conquistador monsters. No joke, that’s for serious what’s going on here whether you guys are willing to accept it or not. Magic. Conquistador. Monsters. Also we discuss Millennium 2×04 “Monster” which features the triumphant return of Kristen Cloke!

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Where Teliko watches over us all.

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Listen to Episode 5×04 – 1:32:46

Tags: A jenga tower of quasi dead bodies, Agent Carla Stonecypher, Agent Michael Kinsley, Alf Humphreys, Angels, Anthony Rapp, Blinkey the Ghost, Brad Cupples, Brett Dowler, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Cave Networks, Child Predators, Chris Hansen, Chris Owens, Claire Laffar, Colleen Flynn, Communication is the key, Conquistadors, Danielle Barbakow, David Duchovny, David Duchovny is such a smug smarmy douche, Demon Child, Deputy Bill Sherman, Detour, Do necksnaps count as negative words?, Don't Drop Guns. Also Don't Have Guns, Don't hit kids, Don't teach your kid how to murder animals for fun, FLIR, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Fred Keating, Gillian Anderson, Gillian Barber, Gordon Roberts, Groot, Indian Guide, introtox, introtox.com, Irving Morganandwong, JC Wendel, Jeff Glaser, Jordan Black, Joy to the World, Kristen Cloke, Lance Henriksen, Lara Means, Lauren Diewold, Little Traveler, Louis Asekoff, Magic Swamp Thing Conquistadors, Mark from Rent, Marty Fox, Mary Gillis, Megan Gallagher, Merrilyn Gann, Michael Asekoff, Michael Sloan, Millennium, Mock Turtleneck of shame, More Episodes should feature people arbitrarily falling down holes, Mothman, Mr. Barbakow, Mrs. Asekoff, Mrs. Barbakow, Mulder's Genie, Never Underestimate the X-Files, Note Captain Jack Harkness also turned into a Swamp Thing head... is this just an accepted thing in dumb scifi shows? Was Yoda just a few years from turning into a floret Broccoli?, Officer Michele Fazekas, Penny Plott, Peter Watts, Predator: The Musical Starring Mark from RENT, Roadblock Genie, Robert Wisden, Scott Burkholder, Sidney, Simon Longmore, Snoopy we've got to take our AZT, Stingray is looking out for his lady, STONECYPHER? HER NAME IS STONECYPHER?!?!, Swamp Thing, Tammy Ginader, Team Building, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The bastard son of Groot and Teliko, The Evil Mindu, The Invisble Man, The Millennium Foster Home for lil' Damiens, The Millennium Group, The Never-Ending Story, The swamp is my world. It is who I am. It is what I am. I was once a man. I know the evil men do. Do not bring your evil here... I warn you. Beware the wrath of the Conquistadors, The worst actress in the history of X-Files is back, There's a gremlin on the wing, This IS Looney Tune, This is the wackiest nonsense ever, Tom Scholte, Tremors, Tyler Thompson, Weimaraner, When your Genie whispers Conquistador secrets... you listen, Why does Michele have ALL of the water, Wine and Cheese, X-Files, xfiles