Episode 10×05 – Babylon

November 10th, 2016

Ian and Michael David join us for 10×05 – “Babylon” an episode about the fears of old white dudes before Herr Trump rode in on his great white horse to save them. Basically Mulder and Scully try to talk to a dead terrorist. It’s absolute garbage.

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Where we’re building a wall around this episode and Chris Carter is going to pay for it.

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Listen to Episode 10×5 – 1:28:22

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Chris and Will are here to help us discuss 10×02 – “Founders Mutation” where we are treated to a story about mutants and family that completely falls apart in retrospect. No unlike the whole William plot. Also a cat gets what it deserves.
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Where an apple a day is all the amunition we need.

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Listen to Episode 10×2 – 2:16:41

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Episode 9×07 – John Doe

June 30th, 2016

Will joins us for Episode 9×07 – “John Doe” in which Doggettt loses his memory and Reyes is drunk (as per usual). We discuss the absolute necessity for shoes at all times and learn that Reyes grew up in Mexico and theoretically speaks Spanish in a completely convincing manner.

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Where shoes are required.

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Listen to Episode 9×07 – 1:18:02

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Prepare for another Kim Manners bug-wranglin’ classic ep of X-Files. Ian and Jon join us for Episode 9×05 – “Lord of the Flies” where we meet our hero Dr. Rocky Bronzino and learn that bug people are real creeps.

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Where bug eps are the best eps.

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Listen to Episode 9×05 – 1:42:32

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Episode 9×04 – 4D

June 9th, 2016

Chris and Will join us for Episode 9×04 – “4D” in which Doggett stumbles into the worst parallel universe ever and only through his knowledge of morse code and the actions of Follmer and questionable plotting is he able to put right what once went wrong.

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Where we always check for consent before murdering a friend.

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Listen to Episode 9×04 – 1:43:42

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Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head chopping good time in 8×20 “Essence” wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts… also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1×12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) “The Cap’n Toby Show” we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

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Where all you have to do is belieb.

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Listen to Episode 8×20 – 1:16:24

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Episode 8×18 – Vienen

April 21st, 2016

Ian joins us for episode 8×18 – “Vienen” in which we tune our unburnt radios to 101.5 to say goodbye to the black oil and the career of Fox Mulder who will hopefully go somewhere and die… again. The Lone Gunmen 1×10 “Tango de los Pistoleros” was aired on television at one time.

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Where Kersh is a hero.

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Listen to Episode 8×18 – 1:54:15

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Episode 8×17 – Empedocles

April 14th, 2016

Will joins us for episode 8×17 – “Empedocles” wherein the boy who could fly is now made of evil cgi fire. Reyes and Mulder meet and say seemingly English words at each other for no other purpose than to torment Doggett. In The Lone Gunmen 1×09 “Diagnosis Jimmy” Byers is obsessed with Bears and Jimmy is in the hospital solving mysteries and inexplicably breaking hearts.

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Where ash people hallucinations are not valid proof of anything.

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Listen to Episode 8×17 – 2:04:40

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Episode 8×15 – Deadalive

March 30th, 2016

Ian joins us for the handiwork of Chris Carter episode 8×15 – “Deadalive”. Mulder’s return from death, autopsy, embalming, and three months in the ground is questionable as Scully 11 month pregnancy. On the plus side Little Doggett and Slycek face off. The Lone Gunmen 1×07 “Planet of the Frohikes” features a talking chimpanzee named Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, and therefore is the best episode of Lone Gunmen ever.

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Where we call sentient intelligent creatures by the name they choose.

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Listen to Episode 8×15 – 1:31:07

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Episode 8×06 – RedRum

January 27th, 2016

Will and Chris join us for Episode 8×06 – “Redrum” where backward living Joe Morton races against the clock to stop Spider-man. We learn about the manliest way to get coffee and desperately want to interview the transcript writers on the podcast.

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Where we don’t let our nanny’s know about the nannycam.

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Listen to Episode 8×06 – 1:42:13

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