Matt Joins us to discuss Mulder and Scully’s wacky visit to the mushroom kingdom in 6×21 “Field Trip” Millennium 3×18 “Bardo Thodol” makes almost no sense whatsoever (likely because it has the twin MacGuffins of bowls and cloned living hands) but Hollis does get angry.

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Where no one understands what was happening to that guy on Millennium.

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Listen to Episode 6×21 – 1:40:48

Tags: Agent Emma Hollis, Angela Schiff, Angry Hollis, Assistant Director Andy McClaren, Bardo Thodol, Barry W. Levy, Big Coat, Big Fish, Bog Sludge, Brad Cupples, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bullfrog Andy, caucasoid, Chopping Wood with Captain Kirk, Claire Laffar, Clones, Coroner, Dana Scully, David Denman, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dirt Water, Doctor Millennium, Doctor Who, DONOTERASE, Dr. Takashi, Evil Lemon Curd, Field Trip, Field Trip... because they're in a field and tripping on mushrooms, Fire in the Sky, Fox Mulder, Fraggle Rock, Frank Black, Fungi, Fungus, Generations, George Lazenby, Gillian Anderson, Goo, grey, hand bags, Harbor Cop, Hiro Kanagawa, HoopleCast, If for some reason you should be watching Star Trek Generations check the ship crashing and look at how weird the scale of the model is compared to the trees, Implants go behind the ear dummy, Inception, introtox, introtox.com, James Hong, Jefferson Dylan, Jim Beaver, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jordan Black, Klea Scott, Krycek, Lana Milford, Lance Henriksen, Lawnmower Man, Mac and Me, Matt got bamboozled, Melvin Frohike, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, Monk, Mushrooms, Mustache Man, ND Passenger, Paul Rudd, Peter Watts, realising it is a fakeness, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robyn Lively, Shopkeeper, Skip, Star Trek Generations, Stephen E. Miller, Stingray, Super Mario Bros. The Movie, Tammy Ginader, Terry O'Quinn, That was a really weird episode of Dallas, The Brown Mountain Lights, The Field Where I Died, The life cycle of aliens, The Nexus, The Office, The Pretender, The Prom, Thumbs-Up Dog, Tom Braidwood, Tzi Ma, Victorian England/France Christmas with Captain Picard, Wallace Schiff, Walter Skinner, What the hell was going on in Millennium?, What will return first the trees or the bowl, Why would a clone have the same fingerprints?, X-Files, xfiles

Chris Joins for 5×15 “Travelers” an episode with all the trappings of boring fanfiction and the lamest unnecessary explanation for why they are called “X-Files” imaginable. An epic West Side Story Battle between Owls and Roosters begins on Millennium 2×15 “Owls”.

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Where Roy Cohn is always the monster.

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Listen to Episode 5×15 – 1:50:28

Tags: 5&2, A Christmas Story, Angels, Arthur Dales, Bartender, Boring, Brad Cupples, Brian Leckner, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Chevy Chase, Claire Laffar, Claire sets the boundaries on when xmas ends, Clear Knight, Coroner, Cory Dagg, Dana Scully, Darren McGavin, David Duchovny, David Fredericks, David Moreland, Dean Aylesworth, Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour Podcast, Dorothy Bahnsen, Edward Skur, Eileen Pedde, Eric W. Gilder, Esophagus Spiders, FBI Director, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Fredric Lane, Fuck Babyboomers, Fuck David Duchovny for making me take Chris Carter's side in an argument, Garret Dillahunt, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Hayes Michel, I do not understand this elaborate owl/rooster plot, I would be much more likely to believe Millennium was moving towards a movie than X-Files right now, introtox, introtox.com, J. Douglas Stewart, J. Edgar Hoover, James Wong, Jane Perry, Jets, JFK, Joe & Chris Do a Thing, John Lackland is History's Greatest Schmuck, Jordan Black, Kimberly Patton, Kristen Cloke, Lance Henriksen, Landlord, Lara Means, Look Honey I'm a Dragon Our Daughter Sees Angels And you work for straight up nazis., Magic Jeezo Wood, Malcolm Stewart, Maryland, Megan Gallagher, Millennium, Mitchell Kosterman, Mr. Johnston, Mrs Skur, old Edward Skur, Owls, Peter Watts, Peter Watts: Professional Creep, R. G. Armstrong, Richard I was the worst, Roger Haskett, Roosters, Roy Cohn, Sharks, Sheriff, So pops Mulder just let a guy keep killing people for all those decades? Cool guy, Space, Space Spiders, Taliens, Tammy Ginader, Terry O'Quinn, The Last Word: a Press Gang Introcast, The Old Man, The Unusual Suspects, Thomas J. Wright, Travelers, umm Watts? could you at least leave a note that you were skulking about in the shadows on my front door?, West Side Story, When your an owl your an owl all the way, Why are there solved cases in the same cabinet with unsolved cases, Why isn't Mulder the least bit interested in SPACE SPIDERS?!?, Why would you file unsolved cases under "U"?, X-Files, xfiles, young Arthur Dales, Young Bill Mulder

It’s time for whimsical unnecessary-murder-by-law-enforcement officials as Mulder guiltlessly kills someone because he thinks they might be a vampire. Luckily by Mulder’s definition absolutely every person place and/or thing is a vampire. Dave and Matt join us for 5×12 “Bad Blood”. Millennium 1×12 “Luminary” brings back introduces us to Terry O’Quinn’s mustache family and we are attacked by Chris Carter monologues.

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Where the definition of vampire is much less amorphous.

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Listen to Episode 5×12 – 1:46:53

Tags: Alex Glaser, Apparently everything is a vampire now, Astrologer, Bad Blood, Box of Human Head Remains, Brad Cupples, Brent Butt, Brion James, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Chris Carter Monolgues, Claire Laffar, Cliff Bole, Coroner, Da Vinci's Inquest, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Major, Does Chris Carter know the difference between Astrologers and Astronomers, Fake teeth, Forbes Angus, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Funeral Director, Gillian Anderson, Hands Up Don't Shoot and definitely don't STAB IN THE GODDAMN HEART, Hey dummy Astrologer King Arthur's Court and Jesus aren't real things, I don't think a new renaissance would be kicked off by the exact same means as the earlier renaissance, Inquisitor, introtox, introtox.com, Jersey Devil, John Denver and the Muppets meet Frank Black, Jordan Black, Ladies of the Night CD-Rom, Lance Henriksen, Lance Henriksen's Dragon Powers, Let's burn this whole United States of Vampires Country Down, Lost Boys, Lover Boy, Luke Wilson, Luminary, Magic Fingers, Matthew Walker, Megan Gallagher, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, Mr. Glaser, Mrs. Glaser, Mulder is even worse in his own mind, OCD Vampires, Patrick Renna, Peter Watts, Pizza, Possible Whimsical Rape, Rob Freeman, Ronnie Strickland, Sheriff Bowman, Sheriff Hartwell, Skipping Ahead, So I guess Frank Black is the new Petrach? So what he's going to start writing poetry and publishing the works of Cicero? Fair Enough, Super Creepy, Syd van Rood, Tammy Ginader, Tamsin Kelsey, Teeth, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, the first election, The Millennium Group demands conservative family values, The Sandlot, Tipping, Tobias Mehler, Vampire, Vince Gilligan, Walter Skinner, When someone is running screaming for help maybe don't MURDER THEM, Whimsical Murder, X-Files, X-Files/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Conspiracy #1, xfiles

It’s “Blame The Interns” Week on X-Files as Ian and Matt join us to discuss Episode 5×09 – “Schizogeny” in which the Lorax defeats Norman Bates-esque woman with questionable fashion accessories. On Millennium we discuss the amazing Darin Morgan episode 2×09 “Jose Chung’s ‘Doomsday Defense'”

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Where we have the correct vowels in our names.

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Listen to Episode 5×09 – 2:06:00

Tags: Alec Willows, American Mary, Apparently X-Files takes place in Nancy Grace World where all minors are tried as adults, Arbitrary Language Censorship, Baby Boomers have a perpetual priapistic JFK boner, Bob Dawson, Bobby Rich, Brad Cupples, CamoHouse, Catfish, Chad Lindberg, Charles Nelson Reilly, Chief of Police Sandwich, Child Abuse, Christin Anton, Claire is a scaredy cat, Claire Laffar, Conquistadors, Corn can eat a dick, Coroner, Cynde Harmon, Dan Zukovic, David Duchovny, DaVinci's Inquest DaVinci's City Hall, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective KimmyGibblerhouse Darin Morgan, Detective Sandwich, Detective Twohey, Doctor Who, Dorkweed?, Down Below Podcast, Eugene Baiocchi, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Freddy vs Jason, Fuck Babyboomers, Gardiner Millar, George Josef, Gillian Anderson, Ginger Snaps, Groot, Hannibal, How could a tony twig get into a body that fell to the ground where twigs might normally be found, How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town, I don't got no books, I know The Evil Mindu, I speak for the trees, Intern Week, Interstellar, introtox, introtox.com, Joey Agostino, John Ramirez, John Shiban, Jose Chung, Juggernaut Onan Goopta, Karin and Teena should get together and trade some vowels, Karin Matthews, Kate Robbins, Katharine Isabelle, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Murdoch, Linda Baiocchi, Lisa Baiocchi, Lorax, Lucy Butler, Michael Jackson's "Earth Song" is almost 7 minutes long... spoiler alert guess what is NOT at the end of this episode, Millennium, Mr. Smooth, Murray Rabinovitch, Myles Ferguson, Norman Bates, Nostradamus Nutball, Nutball?!, Patrick Fabian, Patti Rich, Peter Watts, Phil Rich, Psycho, Ratfinkovich, Richard Steinmetz, Robbinski, Roving Freelance Criminal Profiler, Rubehhhh!, Rubes, Sandra Steier, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Schindler's List Deer Hunting, Scientology, Scott Owen, selfosophy, Shade vs Maze, Should we be asking this axe wielding murderer for ID?, Slenderman Games, Small unnecessary scenes, Smiling Testicle Dragon Punch, So... is the Lorax a ghost? Is it her father?, Special Profiling Powers, Stephen J. Lang, Super Questionable Alternate Monologues, Supernatural, SwampThing, Tammy Ginader, Tammy is the Columbo of hair ribbons, Teacher, teleportation, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Lorax, therapist/social worker, This was the first show to mix normally spelled names with idiotically spelled names, Unnamed Deadwood Podcast 2015, Unnamed Strangers with Candy Podcast 20??, Was her Father The Comedian?, Watch Millennium, Web of Queer Podcast, Who doesn't love Terry O'Quinn's Moustache?, Why did they dig up that grave, Why was he digging a grave in his front yard, X-Files, xfiles

Moira is here to chill with us for 4×19 “Synchrony” in which a grumpy old time traveler goes on a surprisingly spry killing spree whilst trying to avoid bursting into flames. The shocking episode Millennium 1×18 “Lamentation” keeps us on the edge of our seats and we give a sigh of relief that perennial everyman Detective Sandwich/KimmyGibblerHaus is ok.

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Where we’re too cool 4 time travel school.

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Listen to Episode 4×19 – 1:42:06

Tags: Agent Cuevas, Agent Pierce, Alex Diakun, Alison Matthews, All the Mulder's and Scully's in Millennium, an Elderly Man, Andrew Airlie, Angel, Aureleo Di Nunzio, Back to the Future rules of time travel temperature, Bill Smitrovich, Blechly Mountain home of the Black Dragons, Bletch, Brad Cupples, Brent Chapman, Brittany Tiplady, Catherine Black, Chaos theory Shmaos theory... I'm going to try and finish this script in time to take a nap at 2:30pm --Howard Gordon, Chicken Broth, Chris Carter, Chuck Lukerman, Claire is not a chump. A loser? Yes. But NOT a Chump, Claire Laffar, Coroner, CryoBiology, Dana Scully, Darin Morgan's BFF, David Duchovny, David Greenwalt, David MacKay, Demolition Man, Desk Clerk, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective, Detective KimmyGibblerHouse, Detective Sandwich, Did Catherine miss the stranger putting a kidney in the fridge?, Did he have plastic surgery before travelling back in time?, Doctor, Don't go to hotels with unidentified strangers, Dr. David Hasselhoff listening to dust, Dr. Ephraim Fabricant, Dr. Willmore, Dr. Yonechi, Federal Marshall, Fishercast, Fox Mulder, Freezing, Fuck yall lazy chumps, Gillian Anderson, Grow Up. Shut Up. Get a better society going. Fuck off. #VoteCupples #PartyPlatform, Hiro Kanagawa, Howard Gordon, I Fall To Pieces, I just want to read this thesis. WHAT IS THIS NEW INTERPRETATION OF THE TWIN'S PARADOX? WHAT IS THERE TO BE INTERPRETED?, I want to watch Frank Blank and Fox Mulder in a Profiler-off and pie eating contest at the FBI picnic, If Jason had lived he would have eventually developed upper body strength, introtox, introtox.com, It's not that hard to write time travel stories if you put forth a little bit of effort... or ya know... any effort, It's shocking how little effort they put into research, James Charleston, Jane Perry, Jason Nichols, Jed Rees, Jon and Dr. Yonechi sitting in a tree..., Jonathan Walker, Jordan Black, Joseph Puqua, Kidney snatching, Kurt Max Runte, lamentation, Larold, Least effective way to keep a guy from getting hit by a bus ever, Lisa Ianelli, Lt. Bob 'Bletch' Bletcher, Lucas Menard, Lucy Butler, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Maybe save your kid instead of hanging out in the basement, Megan Gallagher, Michael David Simms, Michael Fairman, Millennium, Mulder's Geanie is putting in overtime x100 this week, Next Level Geritol, Nino Caratozzolo, Nobody else seems to be interested in stopping the creation of time travel. Jason is just a prick, Nooooooo not Bletch, Norman Armour, Note that Lisa doesn't come back in time to stop her self, Outbreak, Pathologist, Patricia Idlette, Peter Watts, Pleat-watch, Possibly the best thing Chris Carter has/will ever write, Robin Burdge, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Security Cop, Six Feet Under, Smallville, So did your fear of fire come back all of a sudden or is there a reason you aren't using that fire extinguisher?, So they freeze him to absolute zero then shoot him into a wormhole? What?, Special Agent Tom Babich, Spontaneous Human Combustion, Stephen J. Lang, Stop trying to spoil Millennium Claire!, Super Creepy Millennium, Susan Lee Hoffman, Synchrony, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terry Arrowsmith, Terry O'Quinn, The Servant, They don't understand what freezing means, This freeze thing should make a proper thwppp sound, This is a hugely questionable leap in logic, This is dumb, Those sure do look like ice crystals, Throat boner, Time Travel, Uniformed Cop, Who the fuck is this asshole to decide if the world is a better or worse place with/without time travel, Winrich Kolbe, Wormhole, X-Files, xfiles