If you like questionable parenting decisions and Chris Carter writing you’ll love Episode 9×09 – “Provenance” in which Damian Dahrke uses his alien totem to try and slowly awkwardly kill Scully’s baby. Luckily Scully pretty much has the same goal. Also more rubbings of space ships that could “change everything” again.

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Where we’re pretty sure there’s faster ways to kill a baby.

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Listen to Episode 9×09 – 1:32:54

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Go to your nearest cyber-cafe and download Episode 9×06 – “Trust No 1″ in which Terry O’Quinn AKA Terrence Quinn AKA Peter/Jerry/Edgar Watts AKA Omar Santiago tries to catch Scully in an old-fashioned Sadsack-Turtleneck-Trap so that he can kill Mulder. He later explodes because of iron… or something. Also we finally figure out the deal with Reyes.

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Where we don’t let strangers sleep in the same room with our babies.

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Listen to Episode 9×06 – 1:21:47

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Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head chopping good time in 8×20 “Essence” wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts… also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1×12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) “The Cap’n Toby Show” we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

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Where all you have to do is belieb.

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Listen to Episode 8×20 – 1:16:24

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It’s time for everyone to drop to their knees and scream to the skies that Episode 8×14 – “This Is Not Happening” here. DJ J-Jon JonE Jon joins us as we discuss this Chris Carter penned pile of garbage. The Lone Gunmen 1×06 “Madam I’m Adam” has Stephen Tobolowsky which makes it slightly better than it’s usual sub-mediocrity.

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Where you can use a “computer” and wiggled lights “to” discuss the “podcast”.

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Listen to Episode 8×14 – 1:43:47

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Episode 8×11 – The Gift

March 3rd, 2016

DJ J-Jon JonE Jonathon joins us for Episode 8×11 – “The Gift”. Unlike Mulder, Dogget gets eaten and vomited up by a disease-ridden monster and doesn’t feel compelled to murder an innocent. We witness the most unsettling use of a mask ever in the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1×03 “Eine Kleine Frohike” which largely revolves around Frohike trying to look at an old lady’s ass.

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Where we say Mulder should stay on his evil table trying to unburn paper.

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Listen to Episode 8×11 – 1:28:30

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Episode 8×04 – Roadrunners

January 13th, 2016

Matt and Chris join us for the questionably titled “Roadrunners” wherein Scully gets kidnapped by an evil parasitic slug worshiping cult. We also spend an inordinate amount of time playing a Chris Carter Monologue Game.

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Where we clearly have no memory of episode titles.

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Listen to Episode 8×04 – 1:50:06

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Episode 7×20 – Fight Club

December 2nd, 2015

Cowabunga friends, Ian joins us for Chris Carter’s handiwork 7×20 – “Fight Club” It’s quite terrible. What is happening? Why is it happening? Are the literal cardboard actors better or worse than the non-cardboard cardboard actors?

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Where we question the business sense of having that many copy shops in such close quarters.

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Listen to Episode 7×20 – 1:22:06

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Episode 7×03 – Hungry

August 4th, 2015

It’s time to wake up from your mythology coma and watch the shockingly good 7×03 – Hungry. In which a wayward batboy battles his destiny and Mark Pellegrino embraces his. We also learn that a single minimum wage employee could get some really nice apartments in CA in 1999. We watch the final episode of Millennium 3×22 “Goodbye to all That” and, as a prelude to what might be a real Monkey’s Paw situation, desperately wish for more.

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Where we know the truth about Peter Watt’s Mustache!

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Listen to Episode 7×03 – 1:34:19

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Episode 3×13 – Syzygy

January 14th, 2014

In this cuckoo-bananas episode, Des (and West) join us as we watch Syzygy in which Chris Carter does his best Darren Morgan impersonation. The stars and planets align with a specific town that is a vortex of some sort of generic non-specific energy resulting in two girls getting evil super powers or some such nonsense and everyone else in the town being equally psychotic. Also we meet the best extra ever!

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Where naked movie star games are never the work of Satan.

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Listen to Episode 3×13 – 2:07:52

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Episode 1×16 – Young at Heart

February 12th, 2013

Breaking News: Robin has been fired for his crimes against humanity. Luckily Matt is here to take his place and keep this ship running. Mel, joins us to discuss giant plot holes, super questionable haikus, handwriting facts, and salamander juice in ‘Young at Heart.’

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Where you can wear all the disguises, ALL OF THEM!

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Listen to Episode 1×16 – 1:17:47

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