We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it’s inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.

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Where Mustache Man is canon.

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Listen to Special Episode – 0:52:06

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Episode 7×22 – Requiem

December 16th, 2015

Jonathon and Paul join us for a farewell to season seven as we Riverdance our way through Episode 7×22 – “Requiem” Scully has a Stingray baby on board and we meet our new favorite character Chesty Short – A True Blue American Hero.

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Where we all welcome the upcomming Terminator Times.

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Listen to Episode 7×22 – 1:53:08

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Episode 7×17 – all things

November 11th, 2015

Michael David joins us for Gillian Anderson’s entirely unreasonable directorial debut in the collection of scenes labeled as 7×17 – “all things” in various publications that list/describe episodes of this show. Luckily Jon gives us a proper Dragnet tale to lift our spirits.

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Where we don’t abuse the beds of friends/colleagues.

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Listen to Episode 7×17 – 1:42:08

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Episode 5×02 – Redux part 2

October 1st, 2014

Jason and Matt join us for Redux Part 2 the final part of a three part… epic? Bill Scully Jr. remains the worst. We uncover the questionable dental coverage for the Elders and we repeatedly drag a reluctant Claire back to Scully’s Room. Meanwhile Sheriff Frank fights evil man-eating canines in Bucksnort for Millennium 2×02 “Beware of the Dog”

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Where we are always careful with our caramel apples.

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Listen to Episode 5×02 – 1:56:35

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Episode 5×01 – Redux part 1

September 24th, 2014

We’re here in season five! If you love long rambling monologues and the high stakes drama of walking down hallways and attempting to open doors this is the episode for you. Moira endures this massive snooze fest with us and brings a grip of (hopefully true) fun facts. We’re back to Millennium for 2×01 “The Beginning and the End” and it’s amazing. Brad and Tammy peel back the veils of dvd bonus features to explain the magical basis for the real life Millennium Group.

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Where we will never inject you with an alien virus paired with a probe to give you cancer.

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Listen to Episode 5×01 – 1:56:35

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Episode 4×24 – Gethesemane

September 17th, 2014

It’s the season four finale and we’ve never been closer to the truth. Alirio (and sometimes Artie) join us to talk about 4×24 – Gethesemane. There’s a terrible dinner party and an almost completely useless slide show fighting for Scully’s attention. Also Mulder shoots himself in the head! We prepare our salad bowls for season 5.

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Where Punnywise and Pennywise are BFFs.

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Listen to Episode 4×24 – 2:06:08

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Ian joins us for 4×14 “Memento Mori”. Scully decides to fight her cancer by moving into a hospital. Scully then decides to fight her cancer by moving out of the hospital. Also: Hybrid clones, conspiracies, Lone Gunmen, and horrific Chris Carter Monologues. In Millennium 1×13 “Force Majeure” we seemingly get a mythology episode that makes no sense at all but is still incredibly delightful thanks to the antics of the Millennium Group’s wacky tag-along neighbor played by Brad Dourif.

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Where we will never steal your voice in exchange for cancer treatment.

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Listen to Episode 4×14 – 2:59:42

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Jon joins us for 4×13 (or 4×12) Leonard Betts the story of a mutated freak minding his own business helping diagnose cancer patients until the least competent coworker ever kills him and forces him to go on a killing spree to maintain survival. Also there’s talk of The Simpson’s X-Files Episode for people that are interested in that sort of thing.

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Where cancer is never in our lunchables.

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Listen to Episode 4×13 – 1:47:55

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