Episode 9×19 – The Truth

September 22nd, 2016

Michael David and Pat join us for 9×19 “The Truth’ as we close out the original run of this show the only way Chris Carter could, with a boring clip show that pretends to put the pieces together but fails to do a damn thing. We learn that Mulder has been bunking with everyone’s favorite chess champ from the Philippines whilst Spender was saving the entire goddamn world.

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Where we can’t believe this was on for 9 years.

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Listen to Episode 9×19 – 2:32:32

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Episode 8×18 – Vienen

April 21st, 2016

Ian joins us for episode 8×18 – “Vienen” in which we tune our unburnt radios to 101.5 to say goodbye to the black oil and the career of Fox Mulder who will hopefully go somewhere and die… again. The Lone Gunmen 1×10 “Tango de los Pistoleros” was aired on television at one time.

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Where Kersh is a hero.

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Listen to Episode 8×18 – 1:54:15

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Heidi joins us for episode 8×16 – “Three Words” in which Zombie Mulder is barely back from the dead and already being a dick. Thanks to Knwlle Rrgrgrorer, Little Doggett learns he’s never been closer to the truth. The Lone Gunmen 1×08 “Maximum Byers” misses all marks that it aims at and then ends with a state sponsored murder.

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Where everyone is free to admit that the mythology is inexplicable nonsense.

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Listen to Episode 8×16 – 2:02:53

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Amanda joins us for 7×02 – The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati – Back in Action: The Reckoning 3D: This Time, it’s Personal. Apparently nothing that happened in the last episode mattered at all. Lots of rando side characters get killed off screen and the word “hybrid” continues to befuddle the writers. In the penultimate episode of Millennium 3×21 “Via Dolorosa” we see the trees again and a super creep that is probably not finale worthy.

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Where we’re always thinking.

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Listen to Episode 7×02 – 1:47:59

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Gabby and Jonathon join us as we gather to pay our respects to an American Hero, Champion of the Taxpayer, and National Treasure: Jeffrey Spender and discuss 6×12 “One Son”. The mythology continues to make no sense at all and Mulder kills another citizen for no reason. On Millennium 3×09 “Omerta” it’s time for a kooky Christmas with Wood Nymphs.

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Where we are all in mourning.

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Listen to Episode 6×12 – 2:17:51

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It’s time for the first X-Files movie. Matt joins us to discuss bees, herda hada yokel kids, and the proper etiquette for borrowing a friend’s clothing. We learn that if you forget the mythology up to this point and ignore the definitions of words it makes much more sense. We also have the greatest theme tune ever, a special surprise visit via explanatory monologue, and the reading of the contest winning fanfic.

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Where we Fight. Fight. Fight the Future.

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Listen to Fight The Future – 2:46:32

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A second part of a two-parter that doesn’t completely fall apart? Evangeline joins us for 5×14 “The Red and the Black” There’s a vague ill-defined war going on between alien factions. Scully acts like a real Mulder-dummy and has regression hypnosis before having sense talked into her by Jeffrey Spender, American Hero and future half of the hottest new buddy cop show. Frank uses his Dragon powers to catch sin eater/urban legend dream catcher in Millennium 2×14 “The Pest House”

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Where Jeffrey Spender gets the respect he deserves.

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Listen to Episode 5×14 – 1:58:54

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Episode 5×13 – Patient X

December 16th, 2014

DJ Jon Johnny Jon and Matt A join us for 5×13 “Patient X” in which Krycek and Cobrakai get super steamy on a ship. We are all shocked to realize Mulder still doesn’t believe in aliens (just vampires) and Cigarette Smoking Man is still dead. In the super creepy Millennium 2×13 “The Mikado” we go back to a time to when there were only 473 porn sites on the web.

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Where we are the only people that remember that Mulder was infected with the Black Oil.

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Listen to Episode 5×13 – 1:49:49

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Episode 3×16 – Apocrypha

February 5th, 2014

Paul Maki is here, along with some other interlopers, to help us uncover the secret of the ooze 8 levels underground as we discuss apocrypha. Scully and Stingray’s secret liaisons are further illuminated, Krycek vomits up his oily alien buddy, and we realize that this entire series is predicated on a series of bumbling lackeys.

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Where no one burries their dead alive.

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Listen to Episode 3×16 – 2:24:14

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Episode 3×15 – Piper Maru

January 29th, 2014

Krycek is back, The Stingray is down, and there’s an old man babbling an incoherent Chris Carter monologue. Moira visits as we navigate a lot of flashbacks and some truly industrious black oil in the beginning of another two-parter ‘Piper Maru’.

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Where no one plays in the road.

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Listen to Episode 3×15 – 1:50:12

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