We continue onward with Chris Carter’s last minute half-assery in Episode 9×10 – “Providence” wherein nothing reasonable happens. Teliko helps Scully find secret passages and people possibly try to surf on a spaceship. Also this prophesy makes no sense.

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Where we dont turn off hospital monitors.

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Listen to Episode 9×10 – 1:32:59

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If you like questionable parenting decisions and Chris Carter writing you’ll love Episode 9×09 – “Provenance” in which Damian Dahrke uses his alien totem to try and slowly awkwardly kill Scully’s baby. Luckily Scully pretty much has the same goal. Also more rubbings of space ships that could “change everything” again.

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Where we’re pretty sure there’s faster ways to kill a baby.

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Listen to Episode 9×09 – 1:32:54

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We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it’s inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.

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Where Mustache Man is canon.

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Listen to Special Episode – 0:52:06

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Alirio and Heidi join us for 6×11 “Two Fathers”. It’s the mythology episode Claire has been begging for! Thrill at the minutes of valuable screen time devoted to an unnecessary exposition monologue! Marvel at the most racially uncomfortable writing sense the last time Chris Carter dared to have a black person in one of his scripts! Rage at the injustices heaped upon Jeff Spender: Champion of the Taxpayer! Agonize over the puzzle of why this episode is called “Two Fathers”. In Millennium 3×08 “Human Essence” Hollis has to clear her name and rescue her illegitimate junkie half-sister from a terrible plot.
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Where words have meanings.

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Listen to Episode 6×11 – 1:56:59

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Episode 5×13 – Patient X

December 16th, 2014

DJ Jon Johnny Jon and Matt A join us for 5×13 “Patient X” in which Krycek and Cobrakai get super steamy on a ship. We are all shocked to realize Mulder still doesn’t believe in aliens (just vampires) and Cigarette Smoking Man is still dead. In the super creepy Millennium 2×13 “The Mikado” we go back to a time to when there were only 473 porn sites on the web.

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Where we are the only people that remember that Mulder was infected with the Black Oil.

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Listen to Episode 5×13 – 1:49:49

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Episode 4×18 – Max

August 6th, 2014

It’s 4×18 “Max” Scully kills Pendrell and Mulder hops on a plane with a radioactive superstructure and a man that should really invest in a new pair of pants. The creepiest Millennium opening ever leads to a less than stellar ending in 1×17 “Walkabout”.

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Where we know Sean Pendrell’s fucking name, you heartless murderer.

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Listen to Episode 4×18 – 1:28:41

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Episode 2×17 – End Game

August 21st, 2013

Ina chills with us as we talk about the conclusion to last week’s cliffhanger ‘End Game’ for Fox Mulder and the birth of one of the coolest super-villains ever. Skinner is a super badass and there is much confusion over clones, aliens, and apparently retro-viruses… (yikes)

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Where all the cool kids are.

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Listen to Episode 2×17 – 1:42:59

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