Episode 9×09 – Provenance
July 14th, 2016
If you like questionable parenting decisions and Chris Carter writing you’ll love Episode 9×09 – “Provenance” in which Damian Dahrke uses his alien totem to try and slowly awkwardly kill Scully’s baby. Luckily Scully pretty much has the same goal. Also more rubbings of space ships that could “change everything” again.
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Where we’re pretty sure there’s faster ways to kill a baby.
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Listen to Episode 9×09 – 1:32:54
Tags: Agent Terry Sullivan, Alan Dale, Alias, Aliens, Alvin Kersh, Annabeth Gish, Arrow, border patrol, Brad Cupples, Brad Follmer, Bradley Cooper, Bruce Harwood, Cary Elwes, Chris Carter is the worst, Claire Laffar, Creeper Doggett, Damien Darhk, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Denis Forest, Dogget and Reyes are Fucking #ScienceFact, Dogget cannot get over that shoe thing from John Doe, Dramatic Map Reading, Drunk Reyes, excavation, Fake Frank Black, fireball, Gillian Anderson, introtox, introtox.com, James Parks, James Pickens Jr., jessup maryland, John Doe, John Doggett, John Fitzgerald Byers, Josepho The Clown, Lone Man, Lost World, Margaret Scully, McNally Sagal, Melvin Frohike, Mitch Pileggi, Monica Reyes, motorcycle chase, motorcycle crash, motorcycle jump, Mulder and Scully are asexual rice cakes, Neal McDonough, Oh is Mulder supposedly dead AGAIN? cool idea again, Overcoat Woman, Postpartum depression, Reyes doesn't have feelings anymore... accept about Johnny Walker, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Comer, Robert Patrick, Sheila Larken, Skinner hiding in the curtains, Stats and Scores are Updated on the Website, Super Soldiers, Tammy Ginader, Tarot Cards, The Lone Gunmen should not be given a baby, THIS DOES NOT MEAN EVERYTHING THAT MANKIND BELIEVES WOULD BE IN QUESTION, Tom Braidwood, Toothpick Man, Walter Skinner, Why aren't we being quoted in Wikipedia, Why were they still in the alley?, Why would anyone go to North Dakota from Canada?, Will Tippin, Worst Mother Ever, X-Files, xfiles, Your Podcast Network is the lamest
Episode 9×08 – Hellbound
July 7th, 2016
DJ J-Jon-Jonny-Jonathon Pope joins us for Episode 9×08 – “Hellbound” where everyone’s favorite drunk believes she has been reincarnated to stop a vengeful old-timey prospector turned ex-con from skinning other old-timey prospectors turned ex-cons.
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Where dreams are listed on all important documents.
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Listen to Episode 9×08 – 1:31:45
Tags: 36 hr days, Alias, Annabeth Gish, Bertram Mueller, Brad Cupples, Claire Laffar, Cyril O'Reilly, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Figlioli, Day 12 to the max, Detective Van Allen, DJ Jonny-J-Jon, Don Swayze, Dr. Lisa Holland, Drunk Reyes, Ed Kelso, FBI Cadet, George Wallace, Gillian Anderson, group, Hellbound, introtox, introtox.com, James McDonnell, John Doe, John Doggett, Kari Whitman, Katy Boyer, Monica Reyes, Old Timey Prospectors, Reincarnation, Robert Beckwith, Robert Patrick, Roxanne, Rubber Pigs, Skin, Tammy Ginader, Terry Pruit, The Field Where I Died, The Lost World, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, victims dreams are always in police reports, Victor Dale Potts, WHO THE FUCK IS REYES?, X-Files, xfiles
Episode 9×05 – Lord of the Flies
June 16th, 2016
Prepare for another Kim Manners bug-wranglin’ classic ep of X-Files. Ian and Jon join us for Episode 9×05 – “Lord of the Flies” where we meet our hero Dr. Rocky Bronzino and learn that bug people are real creeps.
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Where bug eps are the best eps.
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Listen to Episode 9×05 – 1:42:32
Tags: 4D, Aaron Paul, Acting Chops, Aeryk Egan, Alias, all Entomologists on this show are the best, Annabeth Gish, Bill / Cap'n Dare, Brad Cupples, Branden Williams, Bugs are terrible at bicycle riding, Camera Dude, chokers are the worst, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David 'Sky Commander Winky' Winkle, David Duchovny, Despite his claims you can Find Jon Here in these very tags, DJ Jon Johnny J Jon, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. Herb Fountain, Dr. Rocky Bronzino, Dumbass, Dylan Lokensgard, Erick Avari, Flies, Gillian Anderson, Hank Harris, Hey Nat-Dawg? What's with your necklace?, introtox, introtox.com, Jackass, Jane Lynch, Jeff Goldblum, Jennifer Garner is a national treasure, John Doggett, Kim Manners, lice, Michael Wiseman, Monica Reyes, Mrs. Anne T. Lokensgard, Natalie Gordon, Reyes is the worst, Robert Patrick, Samaire Armstrong, Tammy Ginader, Teacher's Pet, The bug episodes are the best, The Dick Tremayne of X-Files, This book… I can’t even, Thomas Schnauz, Web of Queer Podcast, Why don't they have bugheads, X-Files, xfiles
Episode 9×04 – 4D
June 9th, 2016
Chris and Will join us for Episode 9×04 – “4D” in which Doggett stumbles into the worst parallel universe ever and only through his knowledge of morse code and the actions of Follmer and questionable plotting is he able to put right what once went wrong.
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Where we always check for consent before murdering a friend.
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Listen to Episode 9×04 – 1:43:42
Tags: 4D, Agent Ricem Ming Lo, Alias, Angela Paton, Annabeth Gish, Brad Cupples, Brad Follmer, Cary Elwes, Chessington World of Adventures, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Clamato, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dead Eyed Lunatic, Dexter Fletcher, Dimension, DNR, Down Below: A Babylon 5 IntroCast, Dr. Kim, Dylan Haggerty, Erwin Timothy Lukesh, Euthinasia without consent is murder, Follmer's best ep, FUCK REYES, Gil Colon, Gillian Anderson, Hot Sandwhich, I forgot Scully was in this episode again already, In every universe Reyes is expendable, introtox, introtox.com, Iron, It should be harder to kill someone, Jack the Ripper possesion episode of Star Trek, John Doggett, Kid Nation, little prick, Mitch Pileggi, Momz, Monica Reyes, morse code, Mrs. Lukesh, Mulder's Genie, No universe can handle the manliness of 2 Doggets, Parallel Universe, Polish Sausage, Portals, Potted Meat, Press Gang, Psycho, Reyes and Doggett have more chemistry than Scully and Mulder ever had, Robert Patrick, Steven Maeda, Straight Razor, Tammy Ginader, The 5th Dimension, The Alarm Button, The ending makes no sense, The Last Word Podcast: a Press Gang Introcast, The Lost World, The Sense8 Podcast, Tony Wharmby, Tounge, Walter Skinner, When did Skinner forget how to FBI?, Wolf in the Fold, X-Files, xfiles, Yay for slashing Reyes's throat, You said yourself..., Zappo Matic: the roller-skating robot
Episode 7×21 – Je Souhaite
December 9th, 2015
Matt, Will, and Mila join us for the magical Episode 7×21 – “Je Souhaite” wherein a scooterbitch gets his comeuppance and Mulder tries to impress his second magic Jinni.
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Where we all wish we had a stouthearted mule and a magic sack that was always full of turnips
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Listen to Episode 7×21 – 1:38:33
Tags: Alias, Amani, Anson Stokes, back from the dead, Benito Mussolini, Bernie Sanders, bicycle, bicycle crash, Boat, bolt cutter, box of matches, Brad Cupples, Brett Bell, Caddyshack can go fuck itself, Claire grants all our wishes, Claire Laffar, cobweb, coffee, Commentary, computer, consequence, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Djinn, DjinnFacts, djinnuniverse.com, fairy tale, false tear, Fox Mulder, garbage can, gas explosion, Genie, Gillian Anderson, Gillian Anderson is a terrible mime, golf cart, hit by a truck, How do you raise a doorframe?, hysterical diarrhea, I Dream of Jeanie, Ifrit, introtox, introtox.com, invisibility, invisible man, Janeane Garofalo, Jay Gilmore, Je Souhaite, Jenn, Jinni, jinniyah, Kevin Weisman, Leslie Stokes, Magic Bag of Turnips, magic sack that was always full of turnips, man undressing, Mark Twain Trailer Court, missouri, Mitch Pileggi, monster chompers, Monsters, Morgue, Morgue Attendant, motorized scooter, mouth sealed shut, mysterious woman, oven, padlock, Paul Hayes, Paula Sorge, persian rug, photo, poofed, Powder, reference to barbara eden, Richard Nixon, Scooterbitches, Shadow People, stash, Stock Footage, storage, storage unit, Stouthearted Mule, Tammy Ginader, Tammy is the Donald Trump of the Djinn, The ep we've been awaiting since episode 7, The real magic is how Mulder is still employed, three wishes, title spoken by character, trailer park, tv remote, urn, video, walkie talkie, Walter Skinner, warehouse, Will Sasso, X-Files, xfiles, yacht, year 1977, year 1978, Yellow Bastard, yellow paint, Zombie
Episode 4×03 – Teliko
April 22nd, 2014
Matt stops by to help us despise, hamburgle, and oscillate between shock and amusement on the subject of ‘Teliko’ the least racist racist episode of X-Files. Meanwhile an old friend returns in ‘Dead Letters’ when Pennywise comes to Millennium (and doesn’t kill the wife and/or daughter… yet).
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Where fountains are treated with the respect they deserve. Maybe too much respect.
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Listen to Episode 4×03 – 1:59:52
Tags: 1996 Summer Olympics, African Folk Tales, Agent Pendrell, Albino, Album Art Spoilers!, Alias, All new truths DO NOT begin as heresies and end as superstitions, American Immigration Policy is honorific monsterous, Bambara, Baywatch Nights, Bill Mackenzie, Blackula, Bob Morrisey, Brad Cupples, Brendan Beiser, Brittany Tiplady, Buckaroo Banzai, Bus Driver, Bye-Bye, Carl Lumbly, Catherine Black, CDC, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Clown, Congo, Creepo nightmare monster clowns, Dana Scully, Danny Wattley, David Duchovny, Dead Letters, Deceive, Deceive Inveigle Obfuscate, Dennis Rodman, Diabria, Dr. Simon Bruin, Eugene Tooms, First Officer, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Briggs, Fuck Married with Children, Fuck you Chris Carter, Gillian Anderson, Gross Drooling Mulder, Hamburgle, Howard Gordon, If you had ever been beaten by the police or had your home burned to the ground for no other reason than being born then maybe you would understand why he ran and why you would run too. <--BEST LIN, introtox, introtox.com, Inveigle, It's a Racist World, Jack Black references at 10am is not allowed, James Charleston, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Charleston, Jordan Black, Lance Henriksen, Laurie Holden, Little Traveler, Lt. Madsen, Making jokes at 10am hurts more, Marcus bitchslaps white-privilege-Mulder, Marcus Duff, Marita Cobrakai, Marita Covarrubias, Mark Snow is the Chris Carter of Music, Matt Bayes, Maxine Guess, Megan Gallagher, Michael O'Shea, Millennium, Millennium Minute(s), Mitch Pileggi, Mulder is a dick, Murray Gold, Next person that says inveigle gets a punch to the mouth, Not as racist as most racist X-Files eps, Obfuscate, Panpipes of xenophobia, Paralysed Juicebox People, Powder, PUT THAT EVIDENCE DOWN, Racism, Robin Burdge, Robin is going to make painful Alias jokes until we die and come back as Russian zombies in a convoluted season finale that even Damon Lindeloff will make fun of, Robin lost his virginity in that fountain... by himself, Samuel Aboah, Scully is Jessica Fletcher #MurderMagnet, Seriously? Inveigle? REALLY?, So nobody is gonna talk about his crazy stretchy powers. Fair enough, Spirits of the air, Squeeze, Stop eating in the autopsy room, Stop trying to sexually assaulting Cobrakai, Tammy Ginader, Terrible Michael Jackson Joke, The best part of waking up... AHHHHHH! THERE'S A GUY IN MY COFFEE CAN! Too black for the X-Files, The Flight Attendant, The Strike, The worst acting Gillian Anderson has ever done, Throat boner, ventilation shimmy scenes, Walter Skinner, What the fuck is a spirit?, Why would you cover up a murder caused by a spooky scary monster that you are afraid of? You don't help things that you are afraid of, wiki-fountain.com, Willie Amakye, WTF were you doing in that autopsy Scully?, X-Files, xfiles, Yo bus driver? If Dude doesn't want to get on your bus why are you yelling at him?, Zakes Mokae
Bonus Episode: Shocker
March 11th, 2014
It’s time for a Mitch Pileggi party as we watch the insanely wacky 80’s Wes Craven romp “Shocker”. Check you perimeter and your fake tree and get ready for a truly bonkers horror movie featuring the Stingray. We don’t quite know what happened at the end… but it was definitely awesome.
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Where everyone understands the abilities and limitations of television remote controls.
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Listen to Bonus Episode: Shocker – 1:21:13
Tags: ' Maybe you *were* my father... but you know who my father is now? You know who's responsible for me? Me. No one else.' UMMM You're your own father? WHAT?, 'Oh a seriel killer came back from the dead to posses randos and you can find him in your dreams? Cool! We're with you 100%', 'That's a felony.' 'That's a lock. Pick it', Alias, Alice Cooper, Alison, All of Jonathans friends are willing to die for him, All the blood, All the dead cats, All the Nightmare on Elm St Facts, Are there any conclusions to jump to? Just call Jonathan!, Awesome Sax, Beaver can't help you now, Bingham Ray, Black Majicks, Bound by the rules of TV?, Brad Cupples, Camille Cooper, Care Bear Stare, Chairy, Check your perimeter, Chris Hansen needs to be called to this park, Claire Laffar, Cooper, Diane, Did remotes that large actually exist?, Dream Warriors? How about Dream Amateur Detectives?, Emily Samuel, Fire in the Sky, Football Player, Frankenstein, Freddy's Dead The Final Nightmare, Fuck Football, Fuck the death penalty, Fuck the MPAA, Greatest Death Faces, Heather Langenkamp, Hey ghost pals? Could you leave me alone when I'm trying to bang my dead girlfriend?, His coach cares more about him than his father, Horace Pinker, I eat this wimp's will power for breakfast John-bo, If you make straight A's you don't need a goddamn piece of shit football scholarship, If you want to watch an execution you are a bad person, introtox, Jessica Craven, John Tesh, Jonathan Parker, Jonathan stop shaking that kid, JUST BUY ANOTHER DIVING MASK, Keith Anthony-Lubow-Bellamy, Kevin Dillon, Lagenkamp watch, Lawnmower Man 2: Job's war, Lt. Don Parker, Megadeth, Michael Murphy, Mitch Pileggi, multiple concussions, My Soul to Take, Nightmare on Elm Street, No more Mr. Nice Guy, Overly elaborate murder schemes, Pac Man, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Pennywise, Peter Berg, Peter Tilden, Pinker's injury is to his heart not his leg, Project Mayhem, Questionable heart failure bluffs, Rhino, Richard Brooks, Robin Burdge, Sam Scarber, Sax by the Fire, Sax on the Beach, Secret Murder Rooms, Serial killers in the 80s enjoyed their work, Shocker, Stop saying 'Daddy' you're a grown ass man, Super weird accents, Surprise Tractor Attack!, Tammy Ginader, Ted Raimi, The Joy of Sax, The most questionable local broadcasts ever, The People Under the Stairs, The Saxy Tesh Game, The X-Files, Theodore Raimi, This already questionable football team has been decimated, This is not what victimization feels like you unempathetic sociopath, This is screwball beyond belief, This movie is 1000x better than 'Look Who's Talking', ummm that's not how remote controls work, Vibomatic, Virginia Morris, Volts Wagon, Waterbed, We have no clue what happened at the end of this movie, We're so used to highschool students being played by people in their late 20's that we are shocked to find age appropriate college students, Weirdest Artists Depiction ever, Wes Craven, White trash yokel family, Why are people not more scared of the psycho-cop haphazardly shooting at an unarmed man, xfiles, You got it baby!, ZombieGhostCockBlock
Episode 2×12 – Aubrey
July 16th, 2013
We welcome Heidi to discuss ‘Aubrey’ -The most bonkers episode ever. A Woman loses all bodily autonomy because her grandfather was a rashy rapist and then she made the mistake of partaking in sexual conduct out of wedlock at some point in her mid-to-late 30s. You’ve come a long way, baby!
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Where nobody* tells you what you can’t do.
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Listen to Episode 2×12 – 1:44:32
Tags: *Except ME, 1995, Alias, Aubrey, Brad Cupples, Brad's Grandfather was a Magma Man and haphazzardly transferred is Magma Man DNA Memories down the line, Carnivale, Claire is a liar, Claire Laffar, Dagger of the mind, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deborah Strang, Des makes Brad cry... with laughter, Det. Joe Darnell, do you mean a triangle and a circle?, Donut DNA, Eh maybe it's psychic stigmata or some kinda... ah never mind. NEXT SCENE!, Electra, Emanuel Hajek, Enhance!, Flying Elephant, Fox Mulder, Geometric Shape Dreamscapes, Gillian Anderson, Gossiping Scully, Heidi Inceptions her guest spot, Heores, Hey Mulder don't try to catch the elderly rape victim off guard by mentioning her rape baby, How will I know if this is a Police Station or a Hospital, I don't want a paper towel handed to me by someone that's been indiscriminatly handling chicken and murder bones, Inspector B.J. Morrow, introtox, introtox.com, Iron Lung Man AKA The ghost of Tony Stark's Future, It was like the washington mounment but different... Bitch, John Locke, Joy Coghill, King Lionel, Linda Thibedeaux, Little Sister, Live Magma Man Transformations, Lost, Lt. Brian Tillman, Magic FBI driving direction computer, Mendell, Modemed?!?! Modeming? WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE SAYING?, Morgan Woodward, Mothering insticnts does not mean going and randomly snatching a kid, Mr. 10-13, NO ONE ever thought using psychology was as crazy as beliving in the paranormal, Old Harry Cokely, Omen 2, Pee Wee Herman was murdered by Mulder when he stole Jambi, Peter Flemming, Poltergeist 2, Punnett's Square, Robin Bugs Out!, Robin Burdge, Robyn Driscoll, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Scooping the listeners, Scully Falling Down Stairs, Serial Killer, Silver Bullet, Slacker Claire, smoking + an oxygen tank = Great Idea, Stepfather, Stranger Killings, Tammy Ginader, Terry O'Quinn, The most ridiculous FBI computer ever, The Terry O'Quinn Mustache Days, Trylon and Perisphere, Ummm Roe vs Wade, Where are your gloves Scully?, Who reported this case that only three people eventually know about, Why are they forcing this woman to carry an unwanted child to term?, Why not call the elderly rape victim that you shocked with the revelation of her rape baby and tell her that a murderer is headed her way, X-Files, xfiles
Episode 1×17 – E.B.E.
February 19th, 2013
Back by sheer willpower (and sheer willpower alone) Robin takes back the reigns of the podcast. Matt visits to talk about the twisty turn-y, and often douchey machinations of Deep Throat. We meet the Lone Gunmen society for long-term post-adolescent virginity. Mulder gets the wool pulled over his eyes (which explains why he tripped over that two foot sign). And a grip of wacky conspiracies abound from all sides. Join us as we desperately try to swat them all down.Back by sheer willpower (and sheer willpower alone) Robin takes back the reigns of the podcast. Matt visits to talk about the twisty turn-y, and often douchey machinations of Deep Throat. We meet the Lone Gunmen society for long-term post-adolescent virginity. Mulder gets the wool pulled over his eyes (which explains why he tripped over that two foot sign). And a grip of wacky conspiracies abound from all sides. Join us as we desperately try to swat them all down in ‘E.B.E’
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We will never cut your breaker or give you an ink-less spy pen!
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Listen to Episode 1×17 – 1:29:15
Tags: Alias, All The President's Men, Big Sharks in a little tank, Blinky the Ghost, Brad Cupples, But if we put another cluster of transistors where will we put the ink? You aren't paid to think. Just glue in those transistors rookie!, Chekhov's Gun, Chekhov's Nuclear Wessels, Claire has trouble differentiating Twin Peaks and reality, Claire Laffar, Clockwork Orange Alien Brainwashing Machine, David Duchovny, Deadlights, Did he drive to TN from Turkey?, Dodger Dog, Dudes that try to pick up girls with magic tricks are the worst, E.B.E, Extraterrestrial Biological Entity, Fruit and juices contain more formaldehyde than any soda containing aspartame, Gillian Anderson, Goofy Undercover Tomfoolery, If time slows down in random quasi-localized patches on earth after a UFO appears it would RIP THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE INTO SHREDS, Introcast, J.J. Abrams, JFK conspiracies are ridiculously nonsensical, John Fitzgerald Byers, Lexington TN, Lone Gunman, Magic Mulder, Matt Triest, Melvin Frohike, Mountain Lion hides in the boxes, Movie Snobbery, Pennywise the Clown, Pitchers and Catchers, Richard Langly, Robin Burdge, Rubehhh!, Scully doesn't know what a syndrome is, Scully Wins, Spaceman Raver Party, Sports Facts, Stefoff 2 the Streets, Stefoff 3D, Stefoff Revolution, Swastikas, Tammy Ginader, Tennessee Williams is the sheriff of Lexington TN, Thanks for cutting my main breaker Asshole, The amount of formaldehyde you would have to consume to have negative side effects would leave you little time to listen to podcasts and/or watch television, The Chester County Automaton(s), The Conversation, The reckoning of Deep Throat, The Secret Pen Delivery Family, The X-Files, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH ASPARTAME, There is no way to spot 'Gulf War Syndrome' by sight in 1994, Time is not a universal invariant goddamn it, Transformers, Turkey looks a lot like Canada this time of year, weirdo aliens, What fucking difference does it make if the strip is on the outside or the inside, Worst photoshop ever, Yo Mulder what is with that tie dawg?