Remember those grieving parents suspected of killing their children and leaving spooky ransom notes? Neither does Chris Carter. But luckily we get yet another resolution to the Samantha Mulder story that we’ve been told we’re supposed to care about in 7×11 – “Closure” Now with 500% more star rapturing? Harsh Ream 1×07 “42 wasted minutes of our lives” is…

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Where Star Rapture is never an acceptable solution, no matter how unnecessary the problem is.

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Listen to Episode 7×11 – 1:22:13

Tags: "Brave", #TeamSpender, Agent Schoniger, All the David E. Kelly shows, Amber-Lynn LaPierre, Anthony Heald, Any explanations for the walk-in ransom notes?, apparition, April Base, Arbutus Ray, Awaiting Terminator Times, bedtime prayer, Brad Cupples, Brad is heavily medicated throughout this ep, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, burning a photograph, Candlepower Contest, CGB Spender, Chester George Bonaparte Spender, child killer, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Closure, Cold Dick, continued from previous episode, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, death of mother, Ed Truelove, Evil Leapers, exhumation, felt tip pen, Fox Mulder, Get the fuck out of here Teena, Ghost Children, Gillian Anderson, Goodbye Iowa, Harold Pillar, Harold Piller's son, Harsh Realm, I bet Kim Manners could have gotten those birds to sing by yelling at them, introtox, introtox.com, John Bisom, Let it go, Lukewarm Skim Milk Riley, Megan Corletto, Mimi Paley, Mitch Pileggi, Mrs. Teena Mulder, Mulder is an asshole, narrated by character, News Anchor #2, Nicolas Stratton, Patience Cleveland, Pennywise the Clown, Planet of the Apes, Quantum Leap, Rad new intro themes, Randall Bosley, ransom note, Raptured into stars, Rebecca Toolan, reference to santa claus, reindeer, sacramento california, Samantha Mulder, Scandal!, Serial Killer, Silence of the Lambs, Sneaky Ghost Whispers, So many unimportant scenes, Stanley Anderson, Stop overprotecting children, Tammy Ginader, That Hair!!!!, The Forbidden Zone, The Pretender, This book is written by lunatics, This is garbage, This is shockingly unnecessary, Thumbs-Up Dog, title spoken by character, turned into stars, unmarked grave, Walter Skinner, What the fuck is a walk-in, WHY ARE THERE RANSOM NOTES?, Wild Predicaments, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles, year 1979

We say goodbye to Teena Mulder (hopefully for good this time) in 7×10 – “Sein und Zeit” Mulder is a selfish prick that delays a kidnapping case so as to make sure the world continues to revolve around himself. We try to figure out what the fuck a walkl-in is and Harsh Ream 1×06 “Somehow still being broadcast” occurred.

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Where shifty Santas are always suspect.

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Listen to Episode 7×10 – 1:42:08

Tags: Brad Cupples, Claire Laffar, David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Harsh Realm, introtox, introtox.com, Sein und Zeit, Tammy Ginader, X-Files, xfiles

Evangeline and Alex join us for a real “Oh no… Copperheads!!” situation in 7×09 – “Signs & Wonders” in which Mulder and Scully meet The Devil who is a snake… again. And a grip of creepo Jeezos deliver snake babies. We question how eyeballs work in Harsh Ream 1×05 “More of the Same – Part 7” which, believe it or not, was actually put on television.

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Where we are all proud and fancy free.

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Listen to Episode 7×09 – 1:54:12

Tags: 'Til Death Do Us Part, 5&2, Alexander Green, Alvin Donald Kersh, Anaconda, Angel, animal torture, Beth Grant, Between 6 and 50? Why is that range so huge? How many did you lose, Black Mamba, Boom Mic guy, Brad Cupples, california gray rat snake, Cat Saliva, Check it out... Evangeline is here!, Chris Carter Civil War Letters, church, Claire Laffar, Clement Blake, Daisy Kersh, Dan Manning, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Deputy, Devil Snake Pregnancy, Doctors jealous of gods, Don't watch Harsh Realm, Donna May, Elderly Woman, Elyse Donalson, EMT, Enumeration Podcast, Eric Nenninger, Evangeline Spachis, Evangeline the Snake, Eyes are not portals to video games, Fox Mulder, Fun Fact: Alex was also in the same Clown Troupe as me. We did Birthday parties together. #MagiciansCanEatADick, fundamentalism, Fundamentalists try not to be more moral than their religion, Gillian Anderson, God Hates Goldilocks, Gracie O'Connor, Harsh Realm, His father was a snake, Holy Spirit Man #1, Holy Spirit Man #2, Holy Spirit Woman #1, hunting knife, incest, introtox, introtox.com, Iris Finster, Jared Chirp, Jeezo, Jigsaw, King Hiss, locked in a car, Luckily most people are more moral than their religion, Lumber Camp, Michael Childers, Middle Aged Woman, Oh no... Babies!!!, Oh no... Copperheads!!!, Pa Progress, Philip Lenkowsky, Phyllis Franklin, Pretending, Proud and fancy free, quotation from revelations, Ramjack Podcast, Randy Oglesby, rattlesnake, religious cult, Reptile Saliva, Reverend Enoch O'Connor, Reverend Samuel Mackey, Sadsack Gracie, Signs & Wonders, snake bite, Snake Venom is the villain of Snake Spiderman, Snakes are not fashion accesories, Snakes in Makeup Chairs, Snakes loves raves, Snowglobe, Sparkle Motion, Stevie Johnson, Stop bellydancing with snakes, Sugar Sugar Time!, Sugar Time!, Tammy Ginader, Tammy Hates Fake People, Teliko, Tennessee... sounds mediocre at best, That's not how eyes work, The Devil, The Devil is less creepy than these creepo jeezos, The Kersh Files, The Pretender, Thumbs-Up Dog, thunderstorm, title spoken by character, TN flashbacks, Tracy Middendorf, Wes Craven's New Nightmare, white mouse, X-Files, xfiles

Heidi and DJ Jon Jonny J Jonathon are here to help us discuss 7×08 – “The Amazing Maleeni” Wherein some asshole magicians pull a heist, Mulder sends an innocent man to prison, and Scully continues to have the worst taste in men. Harsh Ream 1×04 “Enter Shitty Title Here” is somehow even less significant than usual.

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Where we all are ready to follow General Pennywise in the great war against the Magicians.

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Listen to Episode 7×08 – 1:39:49

Tags: Albert Pinchbeck, amusement park, Antonio Salieri, applause, Are you OK Scully? Yikes, armored car, Autopsy Museum, Bank Officer, Billy LaBonge, Bob the Caretaker, Brad Cupples, Bullethead, camcorder, card trick, CastleCast, celebracadabra, Chris Carter, Cissy Alvarez, Claire Laffar, Clowns, Clowns v Magicians, Courier-Guard, cups and balls trick, Dana Scully, David Copperfield, David Duchovny, David Mamet, Dennis Keiffer, Don't touch people's noses it's gross, Dr. Funnbone, electronic money transfer, Employee, ferris wheel, Fox Mulder, framed for robbery, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck Magicians, gambling debt, Gillian Anderson, Giovanni Bartolomeo Bosco, glock 17, Harsh Realm, Harsh Realm is garbage, Hats filled with animal excrement, Heidi Jenkins, Herman Pinchbeck, introtox, introtox.com, J. David, John Shiban, Jon ≠ a Magician, Jonathan Levit, Jonathon Pope, king of diamonds, Long Con, magic trick, Magical Chump, Magicans are the worst, Magician, Magician Memories, man in a wheelchair, Mark Chaet, Max Malini, mini van, misdirection, Mulder is an idiot, Mulder sends an innocent man to prison, neck brace, prestidigitation, Ricky Jay, Robert LaSardo, Rules of Engagement, Scully has the worst taste in dude, severed head, Sherri Howard, Smug thieves, Steven Barr, Tammy Ginader, Teliko, Terrible CGI, The Amazing Maleeni, The Magician, The Pretender, THE WORST, The Worst Dudes, The worst heckler, They did not stop them, Thomas J. Wright, title spoken by character, tuxedo, twin brother, U.S. Prisons are not a safe place for a man named cissy, Vince Gilligan, Windows 10 ghosts, Wizards, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, X-Files, xfiles, year 1795, Young Boss

DJ Jon Jonny J Jonathon joins us for the return of Donnie Pfaster in 7×07 – “Orison”. In which Scully hears a song three times thus proving ??? majicks? Reverend Hershal drills a hole in his head to get hypnosis powers as part of a plan to murder murderers for Baby Jeezo. Harsh Ream 1×03 “Title I Still Can’t Be Bothered to Look Up” is a complete waste of time.

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Where we can all agree hypnosis powers are not worth a hole in the head.

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Listen to Episode 7×07 – 1:54:40

Tags: 666, 6:66 am, All the candles, all the shampoo bottles, Blueberry, Blueberry is the polar opposite of the head guy from last week, bound and gagged, Brad Cupples, Brigham, bubble bath, Cake, Call Girl, Can we all agree Blueberry is the greatest character name ever, character name in title, Chip Johannessen, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, consciousness, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Did the call girl put the robe on him?, distraction, Don't Look Any Further, Donald Addie Pfaster, Donnie Pfaster should be in a donut shop swapping stories about his dealings with mankind, Doomed, Emilio Rivera, Eric Buker, escape from prison, Everyone's a murderer here, Extra blood in the brain... really?, FBI Agent, fetishist, Fox Mulder, Gillian Anderson, Gloy Amen, Guard, Harrisburg Pennsylvania, Harry Belafonte, Harsh Realm, Harsh Realm: Civil War Letter Monologue. Put Dog In Danger. Meet New Weird Disposable Character. Get Captured. Vague Mystery Monologue. Easily Escape. Civil War Letter Monologue., Hershel, hit by a car, Hypnosis, I denounce and reject Claire for her defamatory statements against Tangerine from The Garbagepail Kids Movie, I had to re-edit this at the last minute so if it's terrible misedited I denounce and reject myself, industrial accident, introtox, introtox.com, Irresistible, IS IT MORNING?, IS IT NIGHT?, Jeezo, John Hyatt, kneeling, latex gloves, Lisa Arch, Lisa Kushell, Lyle Lovett, Mama Look A Boo Boo, Marshal, Maybe close your windows if you are always kidnapped, Maybe just rewrite your script once, medical gloves, Mesmer, Mormon Bedtime, Movie Magic, Mulder is a dick, Nick Chinlund, Omar Santiago, Orison, Pennywise's natural hair color is space spider colored, Pfaster Scars, psychology, Rebecca Holland, Remeber when they met THE DEVIL?, Rev. Orison, Rick Cramer, Rob Bowman, rubber gloves, Scott Wilson, Scully the Vampire Slayer, severed finger, Shelf throw!, Shut your mouth!, So in addition to my tags I also copy and paste all the tags from imdb... what is with all the glove tags? Yikes there's some real glove fetishists out there, speech, sterile gloves, Steve Rankin, surgical gloves, Tammy Ginader, Tara Buck, Teliko, The power of the formula compels you, The wiggiest of wigs ever wigged and presumed frontrunning candidate for the reconstituted Whig party, This book is the worst, This guard is a real Scott Walker looking goober, Tip Top Gentleman, title spoken by character, trepanning, U.S. Marshal Daddo, WHAT TIME IS IT?, wig, Wild Child, Windows 10 is haunted, woman in bath, X-Files, xfiles