We’re here in season five! If you love long rambling monologues and the high stakes drama of walking down hallways and attempting to open doors this is the episode for you. Moira endures this massive snooze fest with us and brings a grip of (hopefully true) fun facts. We’re back to Millennium for 2×01 “The Beginning and the End” and it’s amazing. Brad and Tammy peel back the veils of dvd bonus features to explain the magical basis for the real life Millennium Group.

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Where we will never inject you with an alien virus paired with a probe to give you cancer.

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Listen to Episode 5×01 – 1:56:35

Tags: A guy so super smart that he's able to pretend to be qualified for different jobs, Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder... Agent Mulder, Alan Robertson, Alien Corpses that don't rot, All lies don't lead to the truth, All Lies Lead To The Truth, All the sexual tension, All the speeches, Allan Zinyk, At least on Millennium you don't get to murder people without consequences, Bold Venture, Boring, Brad Cupples, Brian Roedecker, Brittany Tiplady, Bruce Harwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cancer, Cancer Causing Alien Virus, Card Catolg of Doom, Catherine Black, Charles Cioffi, Chasing the Dragon: A Conversation with the Academy Group, Chi-Mo, Chris Carter, Chris Carter makes a catchphrase that doesn't make sense, Chris Carter Monologues, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Consequences!, Creepo Credit Obsessed Psychos, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Dicky Bird Perkins, Do not lick that alien, Don S. Williams, Doug Hutchinson, Doug Hutchison, Dragon, Dramaticly Tense Card Scanning Scenes, Drew Reichelt, Elderly Man, Finley, First Elder, Flashbacks, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Fun Facts, George, Gethsemane, Gillian Anderson, Glen Morgan, Hasselhoff, Her whole life is standing on a box, Hey proffessional spy? Maybe don't print those phone records, Hider in the house, Hoax, Holly, How did he not notice that camera the last time he ripped his apartment apart looking for bugs, Hybrids, I do not trust the Lone Gunmen's dirty gross lab skills, I will not have the good name of Ikea spoken against!, I wonder when Teena will find out that her son is dead/alive, Ice core, Imagine an unwatchable Aaron Sorkin monolgue that was so boring it required random stock footage to be watchable, introtox, introtox.com, James Wong, John Finn, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jordan Black, Judith Maxie, Julie Arkos, Just snatch up an alien finger, Ken Camroux, Lance Henriksen, Last Season on X-Files, Level 4 Clearance, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Lie to Me, Literal Overkill, Lucy Lawless's Acting Coach, Marlon Brando Jr Elder, Megan Gallagher, Melvin Frohike, Michael Kritschgau, Millennium, Mitch Pileggi, Mitchell Kosterman, Moira Browne, Moira's Medical Minute, Norman Armour, Peter Watts, Phony Baloney Bureau of Investigations, Polaroid Man, Poor Holly has had it rough, R.W. Goodwin, Red Doors, Red Dragon, Redux, Richard Langly, Science Facts, Scott Blevins, Scott Free, Scott Ostelhoff, Senior Agent, Sheriff, Skinner doesn't give a fuck, Someone in this room is responsible for MURDER!, Soylent Green is People, Spreadsheets need to be updated, Standing on a box, Steve Makaj, Stingray, Stock Footage, Suited Man, Take more of those vials you dummy, Tammy Ginader, Tammy Memories, Tea Leoni, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Academy Group: 100% majick wielding witches and sorcerers, The Department of Defense, The Lone Gunmen, The Millennium Group, The most ridiculous card scanner, The most terrifying way to be kidnapped ever, The most unlikely conspiracy ever, The Pretender, The Time is Near, There's an 80% chance that David Lynch is in charge of the room of pregnant women, This FBI inquiry is twenty minutes away from turning into "Eyes Wide Shut", THIS MAKES NO SENSE, Thomas J. Wright, Tom Braidwood, Trying to Open Doors: The Show, Virus, Voice over, Walter Skinner, Who Cares?, Why are you sitting in my bedroom in the middle of the night... in the dark?, Why would Mulder believe that this could be a hoax?, William B. Davis, X-Files, xfiles

It’s the season four finale and we’ve never been closer to the truth. Alirio (and sometimes Artie) join us to talk about 4×24 – Gethesemane. There’s a terrible dinner party and an almost completely useless slide show fighting for Scully’s attention. Also Mulder shoots himself in the head! We prepare our salad bowls for season 5.

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Where Punnywise and Pennywise are BFFs.

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Listen to Episode 4×24 – 2:06:08

Tags: "Have a Nice Life. See ya" --Steph, 21 below zero, A Thousand Words, Adults don't have any sort of "responsibility" to tell family anything about their lives at all, Agent Hedin, Alien, Alien Autopsy, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Arlinsky, Arnie Walters, Artie The Professional Podcast Pup, Babcock, Barry W. Levy, Baywatch Nights, Beep Beep, Bill Scully, Brad Cupples, Buffy definitely has more stakes on all fronts, Canada, Canadian Fire codes don't allow more than one door?, Cancer, Candy Alien, Charles Cioffi, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Claire slips up and reveals the real conspiracy, Cold Breath Budget, Constantly resetting the show, Craig Brunanski, Creating Shape-shifting humanoids is just as ground breaking as humanoid alien life, Cross Blevins off your bingo card this week!, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Detective Rempulski, did she fall into a cherry slushee at the bottom of the stairwell, Don't be a member of an organization that protects pedophiles, Ebay VICTORY ACHIEVED! Final Sale Price $24!, Exploding Latex Aliens, Fake pour holes, false hope and the biggest of lies, Father McCue, For Your Eyes Only, Fox Mulder, Frank Spotnitz, Frozen Aliens, Fuck Scully's awful family, Gary Busey, Gethsemane, Gillian Anderson, Gortex, Hey Scully I need you to leave your birthday party to see this slide show. It's supes dupes importantz, Hider in the house, I really Hope Frohike's in that body bag, If this was a giant conspiracy hoax purely to convince Mulder to believe things he already believed a lot of tax dollars have been wasted, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, James Sutorius, Jeezo, John Finn, John Oliver, Judas, Kritschgau is a member of the Mustache Man Family, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Margaret Scully, Matthew Walker, Melted alien soup, Michael Kritschgau, Millennium, Mount Seymour, Mulder crying is the most hilarious, Mulder dies in the season finale... again, Mulder was not invited to that party for a reason, Nancy Kerr, No but seriously guys THIS alien isn't a phoney baloney. I promise, No sane person starts an autopsy with SLICING A GODDAMN EYEBALL, Oblong and Teliko: Rookie Cops That Get Results!, Pat Skipper, PauseCast, Pennywise, PotentialCast, pouring an alien into a block of ice OR pouring layers of water around a fake alien OR creating fake evidence that fake water layers were poured into a block of ice containing a REAL alien WHICH IS MO, Pre-Wake, Punnywise, R.W. Goodwin, RedemptionCast, Rob Freeman, Robin Burdge, Robin has toes in his scrapbook #wikifeet, Robin still doesn't understand the plot of the Millennium episode Covenant, Rolston, Saw Operator, Scott Blevins, Scott Ostelhoff, Scully is the worst skeptic ever, Season Four Finale, Secret Weddings, Sheila Larken, Sideways Gun Scully, Sniff parties, Soap Opera Rules Dictate Mulder is not in that bag, Special FX Effects, Steve Makaj, Stop trying to take advantage of a person dying of cancer for your shitty religion, Syndicate, Tammy Ginader, Ted Mann, Teliko, That priest is the worst, The larger lie, The Millennium Group, The most unnecessarily complicated hoax ever, The Smithsonian Institution, The Tick, The worst ninja, The X-Files and Jaws 3: The Revenge. Not that dissimilar, The X-Files is a 'No Confetti' and 'No Nylon-Pig' Zone, The Yukon, This chainsaw man is BULLSHIT!, Thomas J. Wright, Thor, Ummmmm her Birthday was at least a month ago. This is literally a pity party, Victor Garber Ears, Vitagliano, Walon Green, We should probably ask follow up questions but she's dying of cancer so let's just let her keep rambling through this bizarre testimony, WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?, Worst Dinner Party Ever, X-Files, xfiles

Evangeline is invited to our Thomas Kincaid Christmas Cottage for 4×23 “Demons” Mulder falls down a K-hole and gets shocking flashbacks of things we all already knew. Millennium 1×22 “Paper Dove” is an awesomely creepy season one finale that makes up for a lack of Detective Sandwich with a woman showcasing the most ridiculous accent ever.

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Where a drill to the head is always an option.

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Listen to Episode 4×23 – 1:47:40

Tags: Acting Chops, Agent Devlin, Alex Haythorne, Bad Photoshop, Barbara Williams, Baywatch Nights, Brad Cupples, Brittany Tiplady, C.R. Hunziger, Carol Scammel, Catherine Black, Chris Carter, Chris Owens, Cigarette Smoking Man, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dawn, Dean Aylesworth, Demons, Det. Bob Giebelhouse, Detective Joe Curtis, Detective KimmyGibblerHouse, Dr. Charles Goldstein, Evangeline Lilly is a fake, Flashbacks, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Cassini, Frank Spotnitz, George, Gillian Anderson, Henry Dion, introtox, introtox.com, It wouldn't have been so dark if you hadn't smashed all those lamps, Jay Acovone, Jordan Black, Judy Norton, Justine Miller, K-Hole, Ken Pogue, Ketamine, Kidnapped! Justified!, Kim Manners, Lance Henriksen, Lawnmower Man, Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE!, Linda Sorensen, Little Spy, Looking down... well there's one acting choice... I guess., Mancuso F.B.I., Marie France Dion, Mark Snow gave Mulder a Seizure, Maxine Miller, Mike Nussbaum, Mike Starr, Millennium, Mulder the Maledroit Mandroid, Oblong and Teliko: Rookie Cops That Get Results!, obscure mysterious art of Oragami, Officer Imhof, Old Jewish Lady Mulder, Oragami Snatch!, Paul Raskin, Peter Watts, Poloroid Man, Previously on X-Files: The Episode, R.W. Goodwin, Rebecca Toolan, Robin Burdge, Samantha Mulder, Shelley Adam, Sideleg, Six weeks of mediocre writing, Tammy Ginader, Tammy Memories, Ted Mann, Teena Mulder, Teena Mulder is the worst, Teliko, Terry Jang Barclay, Terry O'Quinn, The desolation of Frank Black, The Figure, The Magician, The Millennium Group Megan Gallagher, The most detective detective, The Vortex, This disease also affected famed Russian author Fyodor Dostoyevsky as opposed to the lesser known greengrocer Irving Dostoyevsky, Thomas J. Wright, Thomas Kincaid, Thomas Kinkade can eat a dick, Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage, Time Changer, Tom Miller, Treppaning, Vanessa Morley, Walon Green, What Truth? YOU ALREADY KNEW THIS!, Why drill holes into the head? Especially during a seizure, Why is this therapist doing this?, William Nunn, X-Files, xfiles, Young Bill Mulder, Young Fox Mulder, Young Teena Mulder

Heidi is here to help us get through 4×22 “Elegy” an episode that makes up for it’s lack of coherency with a surplus of goofy Unsolved Mysteries CGI ghosts and Millennium somehow finds yet even more Demons/Devils in 1×21 “Maranatha”.

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Where Frohike’s dad is more welcome than Frohike.

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Listen to Episode 4×22 – 1:38:33

Tags: Acting is temporary Truck Dispatching is Forever, Alex Bruhanski, All the Devils, Andrei Pietrovich Melnikov, Angelo Pintero, Autism, Baywatch Nights, Beer Bad, Beverly Pales, Bill Croft, Bill Nunn, Bingo, BitchFace Scully, Boris Krutonog, Brad Cupples, Brian Downey, Broadface, But seriously do yourself a favor and check out the Baywatch Nights "Hot Winds", CastleCast, Chernobyl, Chip Johannessen, Chris Carter, Christine Willes, Chuck Forsch, Chuck Frohike, Claire Laffar, Clowns dressed up as humans, Cracks that lead to "The Spirit World ", Daniel Kamin, Daredevil, David Duchovny, Death Omen, Demons, Detective Hordak, Detective Hudak, Dmitri Boudrine, Don't knock on a bathroom door, Down Below Podcast, Dr. Bugger, E.R. Doctor, Elegy, Fetch, Fetched comma Far, Fletch, Fox Mulder, Frank Black, Frank Spotnitz, Frohike's Dad!, Gerry Naim, Ghost World, Ghosts, Gillian Anderson, Goofy Ghosts, Harold Spuller, Heidi DID NOT Know what she was signing up for, Heidi Jenkins, Hot Winds, I dare you to make sense of this episode, I'm just a human being, introtox, introtox.com, Investigating Mars, James Charleston, Jay Leno, Joe Don Baker and Wilfred Brimley vs Faeries, John Shiban, Karen Kosseff, Ken Tremblett, Lance Henriksen, Leprechaun in the Hood, Levani Outchaneichvili, Lorena Gale, Lt. McCormick, Maranatha, Mark Snow's cat scored this episode on a bender, Martin Alpert, Medical Examiner, Michael Aniol, Michael Cram, Mike Puttonen, Millennium, More clowns less demons, Mulder is a dick, Mulder's Geanie, Nancy Fish, Nurse Innes, Oblong and Teliko: Rookie Cops That Get Results!, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Paramedic, Peter Markle, Peter Watts, Poor Man's Joe Don Baker, Priest, Quiet Screams, Robin Burdge, Robin reveals he's been a secret Sci-Ti all along, Roger Haskett, Roland, Sergeant Conneff, She Is Me, Skinner killed kids and cleaned bathrooms for Scully, So is everybody the devil and/or a demon?, So these shows take place in some super crazy Ayn Rand Libertarian Dreamland?, spooky ghosts, Steven M. Porter, sweet sweet pills, Sydney Lassick, Tammy Ginader, Tea Leoni, Teliko, Terry O'Quinn, The Antichrist, The Attorney, The Longest Polo Shirt Ever, The Millennium Group Yupanchik, The Star of Wormwood, The wackiest Wig, This make no Sense at all, Torch Singer, Uniformed Officer, Unsolved Mysteries Effects, Wacky Stabby Face, What is the rush? That bitch is not going to get more dead. Let me take care of my goddamn cancer nosebleed, What The Fuck Is A Disembodied Soul, When you cross the spirit world crack it's a no bullshit zone, White People Love Pills, Why couldn't we just have a haunted Bowling Alley?, Why did he pour that soda on the floor, WHY IS THERE A SECRET PASSAGE INTO THE BOWLING ALLEY?, Wolf, Wraith, X-Files, xfiles, Yaponchik, Yikes both of these eps were super mediocre, You Fools 2 kool 4 feedback all of a sudden?, Yura Surova