Oy. Matt joins us as we scrape the bottom of the bucket and watch the dismal torture ride labeled “Revelations” in which it is revealed that Scully is just as horrifically awful as Mulder and Mulder is a douche in all situations.

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Where no one will touch your mouth.

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Listen to Episode 3×11 – 2:07:52

Tags: "AFFRAID THAT GOD IS SPEAKING BUT NO ONE IS LISTENING" <-- If this weak ass pathetic god can't do better than this I don't care what he has to say, "But miracles are wondrous by nature" <--Convenient. so are shitty fairy tales, "full circle to find the truth" <--FUCK THIS SHIT, "God tests our faith so we may not take it for granted" <--God can go fuck himself, "I believe in the idea that God's hand can be witnessed. I believe he can create miracles" <--WHY?, "Isn't a saint or holy person just another term for someone who's abnormal?" <--NO IT IS NOT., "Miracles need no rationale. No justification" <-- saying stupid things loudly doesn't make them true, "They expect proof for all they see" <--YES, "You must witness the miracles of the Lord without question" <--Fuck that shit, ...Brad is being lazy by just using his notes as the tags because they are plentiful and don't require living through this episode again, 6:18 Ugliest little girl. Awesome flattop+vest kid, according to religious lore there are at any time 12 stigmatics... Really?, ARE THEY REGARDED AS "HAGIOGRAPHIC" FABRICATIONS?!? WORST WRITTEN SENTENCE IN THE SCRIPT, Brad Cupples, Carina Maywald, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, David Nutter, divide 11 into 170? you mean divide 170 by 11. these fucking writers, Don't put your hand on a kids face. gross, Faith is the most useless and idiotic concept ever devised, FBI arrives before mother is informed. AGAIN., Forau, Fox Mulder, FUCK CATECHISM, Fuck the concept of heaven, FUCK YOU MULDER FUCK YOU. YOU DO NOT EAT OFF THE FLOOR. AND YOU CERTAINLY DON'T EAT MYSTERY BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR, Full circle to find the truth = DUMB, Fulvio Cecere, Gillian Anderson, Hagiographic, Hayley Tyson, He's not hiding he's standing behind a branch, HEY MULDER? STOP PUTTING SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH DAWG, High winds and ocean currents didn't part the red sea. It's a myth dummy, How dare people vest themselves in the most practical way to go about understanding the universe we have, How did the FBI get there before his mother?, Intro to Brisco, introtox, introtox.com, Kenneth Welsh, Kevin got his mother killed on purpose, Kevin is a murderer, Kevin Kryder, Kevin Zegers, Kim Newton, Lesley Ewen, maybe check to see if it's a fake blood pack first?, Maybe you should lick the towel Mulder, Maybe you should question his word. especially when it involves kidnapping children, Michael Berryman, Michael Kryder, Mrs. Tynes, Nicole Robert, Owen Lee Jarvis, Priest, R. Lee Ermey, Revelations, Reverend Patrick Findley, Robin Burdge, Sam Bottoms, Scully is the worst Skeptic on the face of the planet. Fuck. This. Shit., Simon Gates, so the villain fell down... great job devil's henchman you failed by FALLING DOWN, So there's an FBI alert about people with real or fake stigmata? and this social worker got it how?, STOP TOUCHING PEOPLE'S MOUTHS!, Story time is the only good thing in this script, Susan Kryder, Tammy Ginader, That bump would be less disastrous than careening off the shoulder. PS she didn't hit her head, The Hills Have Eyes, THE RISING SUN OR BIRTH OF A CHILD ARE NOT MIRACLES YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, ummm why are they using old timey thermometers and why is it exploding, Were they going to show the sketch to the mother at all?, Why are they taking him into custody? His hands weren't bleeding before he went to school, Why is the sketch so happy?, why would you take temperature for hand wounds?, Windom Earle, Windom Earle begins his reign of killing off all the awesome character actors, WITH THE LORD ANY IDIOTIC PLOT DEVICE IS POSSIBLE, Would you smell Mr. Jarvis?, WTF is the plot here? he has to die for a new age to come? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, X-Files, xfiles, Yes he does have to go back to the shelter eventually. He's an orphan, you do know the division sign don't you kevin. Worst teacher, You've been tracking a series of religiously based murders and you didn't mention this to your partner?

Bob hops into our train-car of plot convenience as we race through a discussion of “731” Which is roughly the number of different shadowy secret mystery people organizations that are holding back the generically labelled “Truth”.

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Where no one records your every thought… yet.

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Listen to Episode 3×10 – 1:44:12

Tags: "Pithy Epigrams", 731, A speeding train AND a bomb, Agent Pendrell, All about the balls, Apology is policy, Apparently Robin's idea of "kinky stuff" is shooting/getting shot in the balls?, Bad code tech, Balki Style Tactics, Brad Cupples, Brando Jr., Brendan Beiser, Chattamulder Choo Choo, Chris Carter, Cigarette Smoking Man, Circle People, Claire Laffar, Colin Cunningham, Conductor, Creighton Dukes, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, DO WE EVEN KNOW WHY THE FUCK THE JAPANESE ARE DOING THEIR EXPERIMENTS ON OUR SECRET TRAINS AGAINST THE WILL OF OUR SECRET SHADOW GOVERNMENT?, Don S. Williams, Dr. Shiro Zama, Elder #1, Escalante, Fox Mulder, Foxy Scully, Frank Spotnitz, Fuck Chris Carter, Fuck these fucking shitty writers, Gillian Anderson, Hey lepers? What are you guys doing there?, Hollywood is afraid of taking a chance on Brando just like they weren't willing to take a chance on giving Jim Belushi a career, How many shadowy intrigue groups are we dealing with?, Human Centipede Carter, I'm sure that dude "accidentally destroyed" the chip. There's no chance that he's using it to snatch up sexy Scully memories, Interesting or containing a wonderful truth, introtox, introtox.com, Is Mulder the only asshole that doesn't know "The Truth", Joe the Conductor, Magic Flute of Xenophobia, Megan Kelly is outraged at the notion of Mr.X being Santa Clause, Michael Puttonen, Mr. X, Mr. X doesn't look at explosions, Nisei, Otho, pan pipes of xenophbia, Psychotic Conspiracy Nonsense Talk, racist flute, Red-Haired Man, Rob Bowman, Robert Ito, Robin Burdge, Stephen McHattie, Steven Williams, Tammy Ginader, The implant holds everything you need to know about the men who shot your sister... so it has all the Krycek facts?, The lamest of vauge mythologies, The not-red-haired man, The Red-Haired Bob, Why the fuck is a scalpel on the floor?, William B. Davis, Worst placed X ever, X-Files, xfiles

In this charming holiday tale a serial killer dies, comes back as a snowman, and wreacks havoc on the town of Snowmonton OR a town of maniac serial killers led by a sociopathic child king attempt to evade the revenge of a man turned into a mutant by their handiwork.

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Where we all have spare keys!

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Listen to the Episode – 1:43:31

Tags: Agent Manners, Anne, Brad and Tammy "somehow" missed the recording sesh for the opening... somehow., Brad Cupples, Brian Leckner, Chip Heller, Christopher Allport, Claire Laffar, Darren O. Campbell, Deputy Foster, Deputy Pullman, Doc Peters, Eileen Seeley, Everyone on the goddamn planet has more than one key to their backdoor, F. William Parker, Gosh. I only axed you for a smoke, Holidays, introtox, introtox.com, it ain't fucking Frosty!, Jack Frost, Jack Lindine, Jake Metzner, Jill Metzner, Kelly Jean Peters, Look Ma! I'm a Picasso!, Marla, Marsha Clark, Paul Davrow, Paul Keith, Rob LaBelle, Robin Burdge, Ryan Tiler, Sally, Sam, Scott MacDonald, Shannon Elizabeth, Stephen Mendel, Stone, Tammy Ginader, The Lord Forsoke this house long ago, The world's most pissed-off snow cone!, Tommy, Weirdest Axe Murder Ever, when I want philosophy I'll turn on "Oprah.", X-Files, xfiles, Zack Eginton

If you like creepy ladies rocking the worst fashions OR completely unnecessary boat scenes: This is the episode for you! Nutty helps us stay awake through Nisei an episode that should be interesting on paper but is just a strained labyrinth of plodding set up.
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Where no Wookie’s have been hunted and turned into vests.

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Listen to Episode 3×09 – 1:48:24

Tags: 2Shy's would-be future victims, 731, Agent Pendrell, Alien Autopsy, Allentown, An 'undiagnosed' cancer ailment is either not 'undiagnosed' or not 'cancer', Beastmaster fashions, Belief is not a choice you fucking idiotic cliche spouting hack writers, Believing without reason is called faith aka the most absolutely useless concept ever imagined, Best dressed/worst dressed, Brad Cupples, Brendan Beiser, Bruce Harwood, Car-stealing fanny-pack wearing douche forces, Chinamen, Chris Carter is a douche, Claire Laffar, Coast Guard Officer, Corrine Koslo, Creighton Dukes, Crossing Jordan, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Dean Haglund, Diane, Diplomatic Immunity, Dr. Shiro Zama, Expelled, Fashion Panic Attack, Finding actors that can walk into a train and shoot people is apparently difficult, FOX, Fox Mulder, Fuck these writers, Gillian Anderson, Gillian Barber, If that had been an iPhone Mulder would have hopped off of that train, introtox, introtox.com, John Fitzgerald Byers, Jon goes on notice, Jonathan Frakes, Keanu Reeves and David Duchovny in "Chops", Keep it under your hat toots, Keep spraying the ufo with fog before it get's un-mysterious!, Kids hanging out by trains are clearly from the 'wrong side of the tracks', Local Flavor Burns, Lock the boat doors to keep the mermaids at bay, Lone Gunmen, Lori Ann Triolo, Lottie Holloway, Maybe don't carry the alien tracking device with you, Maybe just maybe spend more time working on a reasonable plot and less picking out personally significant numbers, Melvin Frohike, Mermaids, Mitch Pileggi, Monsters begetting monsters, More racist feedback than Sean Hannity's home answering machine, Mr. X, Mufon, Mulder losing his gun, Neeson, nimlas.org, Ninja Mulder, Nisei, Nutty Bites Podcast, Nutty has all the gun facts... gross, Nutty Nuchtchas, Oblong, Oh I missed the train? I'll just drive around and then climb up here and catch up with it. No worries, One of us, Paul Anthony McLean, Penny Northern, Peter O'Toole, Phones in the 1990s were bonkers, Quincy M.D., racist flute, Rat tails are the worst, Raymond J. Barry, Red-Haired Man, Regression Hypnosis... again, remember when people paid $39.95 for VHS tapes?, Richard 'Ringo' Langly, Robert Ito, Robin Burdge, Rouge, Rufus, Run For Your Life, Satellite Dishes don't have magic powers, Secret trains, Senator Matheson, Senator Richard Matheson, Sexism, Skinner loves sitting in Mulder's apartment in the dark like a weirdo, Snoozeathon, So by alien abduction you mean Japanese Nazi doctor abduction, Stephen McHattie, Steven Williams, Stretching an episode out beyond reason, Talapus, Tammy Ginader, The Lame Gunmen, The not quite red-haired man, The Softer Side of Sears 1988, The TN/Japanese/Nazi cabal, Tom Braidwood, Tupperware Team, Turtleneck, UMMM WHAT IS WITH ALL OF THESE HIGH RATINGS? DID YOU PEOPLE WATCH/STAY AWAKE THROUGH THE SAME EPISODE?, Walter Skinner, What the fuck is it that Scully is supposed to 'believe'?, What the hell was up for the Emmy's against this, Wookie vest, X-Files, X-files fans are somehow lamer than The X-Files, xfiles, You are giving away way too much information for someone who can't give away information, YOU DO NOT GET TO SHOOT RANDOM PEOPLE, You don't get to steal people's personal property just because you are an FBI agent, ZZZZZZ

Will helps us navigate “Oubliette” a super creepy episode made creepier by Mulder’s constant attempts to bang the adult analog for his sister. Scully is over these whiny sadsack kidnap victims and Tammy is hulking out with rage at Spooky Acting Chops Mulder.

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Where we don’t know how you feel.

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Listen to Episode 3×08 – 1:37:21

Tags: Acting Chops, Agent Kreski, America's Sweetheart Angie Harmon, Amy Jacobs, Boner Check, Bonnie Hay, Brad Cupples, By most yardsticks Scully is a psycho cunt in this ep, C.O.P.S. The animated series, Carl Wade, Charles Grant Craig, Charles Grant Craig Richard Henry Robert John Paul George Ringo, Chimos, Chris Carter, Chris Hansen, Claire Laffar, Creepiest Creepo Ever, Dana Scully, Darkwing Duck, Darkwing Duck is not a rapist, David Duchovny, David Fredericks, David Lewis, Dean Wray, Debriefing 101, Dolly Scarr, Down the rabbit hole, Empathic Transference, Fast Food Supervisor, Fighting Crime in a Future Time, Firefly, Fox Mulder, Gillian Anderson, Henry, Hey Mulder stop trying to bang the emotionally distraught woman, HouseMulder, How as this fool never been caught, introtox, introtox.com, Jacques Lalonde, Jewel Staite, Just because Scully is a professional kidnap victim doesn't mean you get to be a bitch, Ken Ryan, Kim Manners, LabyrithCast, Larsen, Little House on the Praire nightgown, Lucy Householder, Michael Chieffo, Myra Jacobs, Nobody's gonna spoil us, One follows. One Exists: The X-Files, Oubliette, Paramedic, Predators, Professional FBI Kidnap Victim, Professional Hair Flipper, Robert Underwood, Robin Burdge, Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Vegas, Sidonie Boll, Spooky Mulder, STOP TOUCHING HER MOUTH, Tammy Ginader, That's a no-no, The Tow Truck Driver, Tracey Ellis, Walt Eubanks, We all know how Tammy feels, Who is a fan of confined spaces?, X-Files, xfiles, You don't get to randomly shoot unarmed people

Matt joins us as we discuss “The Walk” in which a government sanctioned murderer is upset when he loses his arms and legs whilst doing the job of being a government sanctioned murderer so he somehow develops the useful ability to leave his body and kill random co-workers. Mulder and Scully watch more-or-less.

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Where sandboxes are always less than eight feet deep.

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Listen to Episode 3×07 – 1:35:40

Tags: A Thousand Ways to Die, Acting Chops, Andrea Barclay, Angel, Army Doctor, Beard Blowing, Beatrice Zeilanger, Brad Cupples, Burly Nurse, burn mask, Call the police? Why not just chase after him?, Capt. Janet Draper, Carnivale, Chris Carter, Claire Laffar, Dana Scully, David Duchovny, Denunciations and Rejections aplenty, Deryl Hayes, Des's Favorite Episode, Don Thompson, Ella the monkey, Empty NestCast, Fox Mulder, Fresh boiled accents, Fuck the military, G.I. Jane, General Thomas Callahan, Gillian Anderson, Hey Little Trevor? What's with the murder pit?, Hollow Man, HOW DOES HE HAVE THESE WEIRDO POWERS? ANY EXPLANATION AT ALL? No? Fine., Ian Tracey, introtox, introtox.com, John Shiban, Kevin Bacon, Leonard 'Rappo' Trimble, Lobster Joe, Lt. Col. Victor Stans, Man of Steel, Matt Humphrey, Mel Richard, Monkey Shines, Mrs. Callahan, Mulder and Scully do absolutely nothing in this episode, Mulder has Moe Howard Hair at the end of this episode, Nancy Sorel, Paula Shaw, Phantom Limb, Professional State-Sponsored Murderers, Questionable Shadows, Quinton 'Roach' Freely, Rappo is a thing I guess?, Rib cracking sand attack, Rob Bowman, Rob Lee, Robin Burdge, Skipping Ahead, So everybody in this guy's murderer squad are now at the same Veteran's hospital?, So why is this asshole recording backwards answering machine messages again? Also how?, Sports Facts, Superman is a dick, Support the Troops, Tammy Ginader, Tammy's rating is largely based off not actually watching the episode #Slacker, The Amputee, The Bug King, The Deepest Sandbox, The only sane response in an insane world IS NOT INSANITY., The Walk, The Ward Nurse, This guy is really easy to escape from just go somewhere he doesn't know about, Thomas Kopache, Throat steam, USAUSAUSA, WHHHHHHYYYYYYY?, Why are they investigating this?, Why does the quadriplegic have better hair than Mulder?, Willie Garson, Wood-chipper of doom, Worst Suicide Plan EVER, X-Files, X-ray dental plate fetishes, xfiles